Why is the ex so irritating?

GRRRR...it is so aggravating! The bm wants to take ss for a re-evaluation (he was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and possibly Tourette's a few years ago). This was after more than a summer of a comprehensive evaluation (occupational therapist, speech therapist, child psychologist, parent evaluations, teacher evaluations, and a developmental pediatrician who specializes for this). I'm not sure what she is looking for. DH says he thinks the bm thinks ss has something wrong with his brain and I guess it isn't what he was diagnosed with. I don't know what that "something" is and I don't know why she feels that way as we don't get updates from her on how ss behaves while with her. She doesn't tell dh this stuff. She just gives orders/directions without full information. We have kept in contact with his teachers though as it is the only way we get info. on his behavior. So, here are my aggravations (yes, plural):

• First, give us more information! DH is expected to agree to another round of this without having full disclosure. She's never told dh everything about ss's behavior. I'm not sure what her goal is with keeping it from him.
• Second, she sent us a list of doctors she wants dh to pick his choice from so she can take ss to get this done, however, she didn't even check her list to see who takes her insurance first. Her insurance is primary! Hello!!! Shouldn't she do that herself? She gave us phone numbers for the doctors. She wants to take ss to these doctors but WE (well, I, because this is my "area" in our household) should check to see if they take her insurance for her? I don't friggen think so! I spent one whole summer driving my stepson back and forth to all his different appointments for his evaluation...yes, me, the wicked stepmother, because his mother couldn't work her schedule around to permit it (except she works her schedule around for anything else...go figure). Why the heck should I do more of her job for her?
• Third, she is just NOW doing something after his grades went from all A's to D's, after she took him off his meds last summer and school year (without telling dh who she had told it was just going to be for the summer...lie), this school year ALL YEAR LONG. Now that school is over, she wants a different diagnosis. Why not do something for the kid before this so he didn't have a whole school year of bad grades and bad behavior? She took him off the meds to begin with. She is his mother. She should've cared enough to do something about this....oh, maybe six months ago!!
• Finally, we don't have the money for anything outside of insurance coverage and it should be HER primary insurance coverage because our insurance has a very small fund to cover medical and after that, it comes out of our pocket. Her insurance has to cover it first and then ours be secondary. Ours is not going to become primary for this issue. We can't afford it! With having four kids of our own, one child who needs weekly speech and another who needs counseling for anxiety after an issue I can't discuss here, using up our health fund for something that was already done for my stepson because she's not checking to ensure her own insurance will be used, just isn't going to happen!

Oh yeah, another aggravation - she sends emails with all this information because she won't call dh. However, whenever he tries to email her (even if it is to email her back), she insists he call her. What the heck! Double standard snot. So that aggravates me and it aggravates me that dh will do that at her "order". He tries to keep the peace against her insanity but sometimes...it gets on my nerves.

Five more years, five more years, five more years!!