My 9yo reprimands her older brother (my ss) on his facebook:)

My teenaged stepson was swearing on his facebook this morning.  Of course, his mother does nothing about it.  She must think it's just fine to cuss in front of family and young children. 

Well, my nine-year-old daughter did what his mother wouldn't - she called him on it on his facebook.  She told him to stop using potty mouth on facebook or in public.  I'm proud of my little girl!

He used to cuss like that here when we (his dad and I) couldn't hear him and we'd find out and my husband would tell him to stop.  However, we have no say over his behavior while he's at his mom's house.  He knows he can get away with it there - real obvious by the content on his facebook these last few months that the ex is aware of - things like cussing, calling his older sister swear words, posting his own homemade songs about oral sex. 

Kids will do what you allow them to do.  The ex allows him to do whatever he wants at 15.  Heck she allowed him to do whatever he wanted from the time he could walk. He is exactly who she raised him to be.

Now, after I am sure that my stepson has seen his little sister's reprimand, I will be blocking his facebook from her as well since there is no telling what kind of obscenities he will post next.

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Stepson Got a Wimpy Punishment for Obscenities Online IMO

I contacted my stepson's mother about what was all over Facebook (stepson's obscene song and language) and her response was he is grounded from the computer for a week and she talked to him about what is/isn't appropriate. Big whoop. The kid sang a song about kids on the bus having oral sex and uploaded it to the world and called his sister a w*hore online for all friends and family to see.  A week from the computer? I bet he learned his lesson with that harsh punishment!  What a joke.

Side note:  If she monitored her kids' online useage, she wouldn't have had to been notified by the evil stepmother telling her about it.  Betcha that burns a bit.

If my kid had recorded an obscene song, uploaded it online, and put links all over Facebook to it for a couple hundred other kids to hear, as well as called their sibling bad words on facebook, as well as left other cuss words all over facebook, I would've grounded them from more than just the computer for a week.  A week from his computer?  Big deal.  How about a week from going anywhere?  A week from friends?  A week from his cell phone?  A week from his beloved guitar that he used for the song?  How about a couple weeks?  How about a month?  This was obscene material published online by a teenager.  I'd punish my kid until the new year for that one.

Oh yeah, she hasn't taken the song off the internet or the links to it off his facebook either (and that of his friends' pages that he posted it too).  I hope she gets 100 calls from ticked off parents.  Betcha it ticks her off that I was the first parent to notify her.  She should've taken his facebook page down right away!

I told her I didn't want to have to block him from my kids' pages because they want contact with their brother but that they couldn't be exposed to that.

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Stepson is Obscene

Well, my 15-year-old stepson apparently doesn't have any parental supervision at all.  Besides the language he uses on his facebook page (swearing a lot, calling his sister names like "w*ore"), he recorded a song to the song, "Wheels on the Bus" but made his own version of it and he's posted it all over facebook.  His version talks about what promiscuous kids do on the bus - that's the best way I can word it without offending anybody.  It's obscene and disgusting.  My husband is working this weekend or else I'd have him listening to it this second.  I'm so upset that I'm shaking.

I don't know if his mother is clueless or if she just has no control over him at all (or doesn't think she has to).  Giving past history where she never disciplined him, my best guess is she still lets him do whatever he pleases without consequences.  That'd be true to form for her - we were the disciplinarians (and he hates us for it because his mom used it to make her the favorite and us the bad guys) and she was/is Disney Mom. 

She's a pathetic excuse for a mother.

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Checking Out Xmas Present for Stepson

My husband asked me yesterday to look for the best prices for a guitar amp for my stepson for Christmas. He is asking for a Roland MicroCube Guitar Amplifier but my husband didn't clarify which one. The micro cube can be found for $114 but there are other Roland Cubes for close to $200. I'm partial to the $114 price myself.

He never writes. He never calls. He never texts. We don't exist for him until it's time for presents. When I sent them stuff before, he only thanked his dad. It makes me a bit hesitant to spend a lot of time shopping for him, ya know? I'd rather just leave it up to hubby to find the gift for his son but then I'm the Internet shopping guru so I can find the best prices and promo codes for things. He doesn't know how. It'd save us money if I did it. However, my annoyance factor would have a cost all its own.

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Surprised He Passed 8th Grade

My stepson's report card came in the mail from the school. He failed every final exam except band. "F" all the way down the rows! It made his final grades "A" for band and D's for the rest. In one class, he had D-, D-, F and ended up with a D. I think somebody was definitely padding the grade for him there because the average of D-, D-, and F does NOT make a D.

Despite meeting with his teachers a few times, the ex isn't ensuring he's doing his homework. She puts up a front when she's with his teachers like she cares and then doesn't do a thing at home. He had missing assignments up the yin yang. I'm sorry but at that age, a parent needs to be checking work every night if a kid proves he or she can not be trusted to do their assignments. If she hasn't enforced any rules for the past three years that he's been barely passing his classes (this is an "A" student so he's just not trying), how is she going to get him to pass high school classes?

I've been ticked off. I think dad should tell his ex that their son should come live here so we can monitor his school work if she won't do it. It'd tick her off but who the heck cares at this point? This is about a kid's future. What it may do, if she knew that school failure was one reason to change custody, is spur her to actually parent the kid.

If one of our kids brought home bad grades like that, they'd lose privileges until the grades came up, but it's just brushed under the rug if it's my stepson. I don't understand why. He's getting the short end of the stick in terms of parenting right now (which is probably how he likes it) but at his age, he shouldn't get the choice!

Maybe the ex is hoping he fails at least one year so it prolongs her weekly tax-free checks from dad.

I'm tired of two different treatments for the kids. Stepson can come here and act up and hubby just "talks" to him and the behavior repeats over and over. If our kids were to act up, they get consequences. Our kids are expected to get good grades, as it should be, but stepson can barely pass for the last three school years and everybody just lets him. So hubby's kids can do what they want and say what they want. They run their mom's house and it reaches over into hubby's visitation since the ex enables them by scheduling their summer so there isn't even a week leftover for dad. Dad lets them get away with it though so he's at fault too. It never used to be this way. We had rules, expectations, etc. and they were the same for ALL of the kids and we followed up and rode the ex's backside if she didn't. It's changed in the last few years as the kids have gotten older and dad has let the ex have more control without his input (BIG mistake!) and just accepted that they don't care about him all that much anymore so he just kind of lets them do what they want (hoping if he does he can retain some shred of a relationship with them). When it's based on their own terms and those terms suck, that's just not right. All the years of PAS took it's toll on everybody.

I need to let go. If his own parents won't do for him, there isn't anything I can do but make my TMJ worse (my jaw is hurting so badly right now...stress does it every time). There are times I'd like to forget that I have two stepchildren for the next 2-4 years until they graduate from school and their mother isn't a factor anymore. Sometimes the stress (and the pain) is too much to think about all the time. Sometimes, it seems like it is too much to ask of our own children as well to go through this.

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We're all WHAT??

Open up your child's MySpace (only the initial header page seen by the public) and see this as his status:

"WERE ALL WHORES SOME OF US JUST GET PAID"

It's what my 13 year old stepson has on his myspace profile page for the public to see. His myspace is actually private so who knows what he's writing inside that we can't see or who he is talking to. We're not allowed to be friends with him on MySpace (the ex and her control issues) so we can't keep an eye on him. His mother hasn't logged into her myspace account at all this month so I wonder who is watching this kid on MySpace? A 13-year-old has no business being unsupervised on these social networking sites.

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Why is the ex so irritating?

GRRRR...it is so aggravating! The bm wants to take ss for a re-evaluation (he was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD, and possibly Tourette's a few years ago). This was after more than a summer of a comprehensive evaluation (occupational therapist, speech therapist, child psychologist, parent evaluations, teacher evaluations, and a developmental pediatrician who specializes for this). I'm not sure what she is looking for. DH says he thinks the bm thinks ss has something wrong with his brain and I guess it isn't what he was diagnosed with. I don't know what that "something" is and I don't know why she feels that way as we don't get updates from her on how ss behaves while with her. She doesn't tell dh this stuff. She just gives orders/directions without full information. We have kept in contact with his teachers though as it is the only way we get info. on his behavior. So, here are my aggravations (yes, plural):

• First, give us more information! DH is expected to agree to another round of this without having full disclosure. She's never told dh everything about ss's behavior. I'm not sure what her goal is with keeping it from him.
• Second, she sent us a list of doctors she wants dh to pick his choice from so she can take ss to get this done, however, she didn't even check her list to see who takes her insurance first. Her insurance is primary! Hello!!! Shouldn't she do that herself? She gave us phone numbers for the doctors. She wants to take ss to these doctors but WE (well, I, because this is my "area" in our household) should check to see if they take her insurance for her? I don't friggen think so! I spent one whole summer driving my stepson back and forth to all his different appointments for his evaluation...yes, me, the wicked stepmother, because his mother couldn't work her schedule around to permit it (except she works her schedule around for anything else...go figure). Why the heck should I do more of her job for her?
• Third, she is just NOW doing something after his grades went from all A's to D's, after she took him off his meds last summer and school year (without telling dh who she had told it was just going to be for the summer...lie), this school year ALL YEAR LONG. Now that school is over, she wants a different diagnosis. Why not do something for the kid before this so he didn't have a whole school year of bad grades and bad behavior? She took him off the meds to begin with. She is his mother. She should've cared enough to do something about this....oh, maybe six months ago!!
• Finally, we don't have the money for anything outside of insurance coverage and it should be HER primary insurance coverage because our insurance has a very small fund to cover medical and after that, it comes out of our pocket. Her insurance has to cover it first and then ours be secondary. Ours is not going to become primary for this issue. We can't afford it! With having four kids of our own, one child who needs weekly speech and another who needs counseling for anxiety after an issue I can't discuss here, using up our health fund for something that was already done for my stepson because she's not checking to ensure her own insurance will be used, just isn't going to happen!

Oh yeah, another aggravation - she sends emails with all this information because she won't call dh. However, whenever he tries to email her (even if it is to email her back), she insists he call her. What the heck! Double standard snot. So that aggravates me and it aggravates me that dh will do that at her "order". He tries to keep the peace against her insanity but sometimes...it gets on my nerves.

Five more years, five more years, five more years!!

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