Hospitalized Last Week

>> Monday, May 24, 2010

Last week, I was hospitalized for a bad infection that just knocked me on my backside.  After several days of IV antibiotics (which caused nausea, equilibrium problems via my ears, and hallucinations), my white blood cell count was low enough that they could send me home with 14 days of two different antibiotics - that cause nausea and pressure in the ears.  Oh how fun! 

After spending another few minutes worshipping the porcelain gods with my face in their throne this morning, I am TIRED of this!  This is my first post in over a week and it's making me nauseous to do it.  Blah!

I have four kids to take care of and a husband on 3rd shift so it's all me this week (he took all his vacation left plus unpaid days last week because of my illness, which we couldn't afford).  Being sick this long is bad news.  I already missed a choir concert and two band concerts because I was tied to the IV in a hospital bed hallucinating evil horror grins, faces flying at me, and the Virgin Mary statue turning around in the garden outside my hospital window because of the antibiotics.  They were knocking out the infection but causing a host of other problems which are still ongoing. 

I don't want to miss anymore of my children's end of the year school activities.  It's making me sad.  It's making me feel frustrated.  It's making me downright pissy.  Not a good combo.


Thyroid and Weight Loss

>> Saturday, May 15, 2010

My thyroid is still giving me problems.  I've been so tired today that I had to nap this afternoon and I sit here yawning now while I type. 

If I could get rid of three hypothyroid symptoms, they'd be exhaustion, weight, and brain fog. I can deal with the others but those three really bother me on a daily basis. 

The weight thing is getting to me again because I can feel my wedding ring tightening up.  I don't want to have to take it off again.  I've gained back four out of the 13 pounds I lost.  I've been looking at apidexin reviews which give some information on thyroid function as well.

It'd be nice if my doctor would call me back though. Two phone calls to him and none returned...annoying.


Family Movie Night - Peter Pan & Goosebumps

>> Friday, May 14, 2010

There is a really cute Peter Pan from 2003 that my kids are raving over, especially my 13-year-old who seems to have found a new heart throb in Jeremy Sumpter who plays Peter Pan in this version.  It's a switch from all the Twilight addiction, at least until June when Eclipse hits theatres.  We usually have family movie night if my husband isn't working on weekends and this was a cute one to share. 

I think this weekend it is a Goosebumps movie.  That whole series isn't a favorite of mine but the kids like them.  To me it's just silly storylines and bad acting with blobby characters who look like they should be looking at weight loss pill comparison reports or look so fake that it looks like the costumes came right out of a Halloween, U.S.A.  The last one had this big sponge with fake eyes.  You would think that because the Goosebumps series was so popular when it came out, they'd have done a better job with the movie versions.  If I sneak some reading in while they are engrossed in the movie, I wonder if they'll notice.


In-Law Problems

I've been on facebook for well over a year and have many of my in-laws on my friend list and chat with some of them regularly.  The one person who has been on facebook who has never sent me a friend request is one of my husband's sisters.  I've met her twice in 15 years and she hated me the first time she walked through my door.  I wasn't the ex and you could tell when she walked in the door to meet me that she was not going to give me a chance at all.  She gave support to the ex when it should've been given to her brother, etc.  One of those situations.  She left a nasty message on our answering machine once for our kids to hear about me and how blood was thicker than water - like my husband would actually support HER over ME.  That tells me right there how much she knew her brother and our marriage - not at all.

Well, last night she sends me a facebook friend request.  Why?  I don't know.  I asked my husband and he said, "Maybe she likes you now."  I asked him how that would happen since I've only met her twice in 15 years, she has never liked me, so when would she get to know me to change her mind?  Twice in 15 years - that tells you how close he is to her as well doesn't it?

She's been acting to him like nothing has been wrong lately on facebook, leaving him messages on his wall and instant chatting with him, like there was never a wall between them for more than a decade.  He'll go along with pretending to hide that he wants little to do with her so he doesn't hurt his elderly parents (his mom in particular).  Is it so bad that I want him to call her out on her behavior, to tell her that her behavior was out of line?  I guess his silence all these years with her did that in a passive way...I'd like to see a little less passive and more in your face to get the point across that it's not tolerated.  I guess that's just me and not him though.

Now I have to figure out what to do with her friend request.  She doesn't like me but if I ignore it, she'll tell their mother and then it'll come back on me.  It always comes back on me because I'm the in-law with the bullseye on my butt.  If I accept it, I have to what?  Pretend she didn't leave nasty messages on our answering machine for my kids to hear about me, about her support of my husband's ex enabling her victim mentality for so many years?


Stepdaughter Turns Down Free Year of College

>> Thursday, May 13, 2010

My stepdaughter is turning down a free year of college for her core classes even though she wants to be a vet and knows neither one of her parents have the money to pay her college tuition.  Why am I upset when I expected this?

I think she will come to regret that decision as she's struggling in the coming years but there's nothing I can do about it. 


Want Stepdaughter to Live Here for College

>> Wednesday, May 12, 2010

We have this program here where high school kids can go to college, while in high school, and get college credit for it.  It's free too as long as they pass their classes.  My husband sent the information to his ex the other day to see if she'd be agreeable to my stepdaughter living here for her senior year in high school so she can get her first year of college classes/books free.  She's in honors/advanced classes now and would do well with this program according to the school.  I know we don't have the money to send her to college and my stepdaughter says her mother doesn't either.  This would give her a good start to get her first year of core classes done plus she'll get high school credit and graduate as well - all in one. 

I doubt if her mother will agree.  My husband hasn't said anything to my stepdaughter about it.  He wanted to get her mother's input on it.  A decision needs to be made before Friday though for deadlines and here we are at Wednesday and no word. 

I don't think it will happen, regardless of the free college AND it gets her out of the bad situation she is in with the boyfriend/ex-boyfriend that put her in therapy.  It's not like my stepdaughter is a baby and the ex is still wondering how to fade stretch marks. She graduates in a year anyway. It means she leaves one year early and doesn't move away from both of them for college, she comes to her home with her father for her first year of college.

The chances of this happening? Slim to none. 

What an opportunity I'd LOVE to have.  I wish I could get a year of college classes for free.

Would she even leave the bad influence of the boyfriend/ex-boyfriend to do it?  Who knows. 


Teenage Years are Trying Times Already!

My stepdaughter told me when she was down here that she had been engaged this past year (she's a junior in high school).  Surprised was one word I'd use to describe my reaction, but I didn't let her know any of my feelings about it.  Yikes!

Knowing what we know now about her boyfriend (or ex...if he is an ex...who knows anymore), she dodged a bullet if they're no longer together.  I think he has the possibility of being physically dangerous (he's already emotionally/mentally dangerous in our opinion). 

She did go to prom with him this last weekend, supposedly as friends.  She wasn't allowed to drive with him but met him there instead.  Her mother drove her and picked her up which was a good thing.  I wonder if they're really just friends or pretending to be just friends because she knows her mother won't let her near him otherwise. 

This teenage stuff?  It stinks.  She's the oldest.  We have five more to go!


Cancer Sucks!

>> Monday, May 10, 2010

A high school friend passed away yesterday from cancer. She never had a bad word to say about anybody. She was one of those people who was always sweet, always helpful. We sat together in our business classes and became friends. After graduation we lost touch, which so often happens, and then facebook put us back in touch again recently. She ended up marrying another friend from high school. I feel really bad for him right now.

I'm sure this is not how it really is but from an emotional standpoint, is seems like the good people are taken too early. People with pure hearts leave too soon.

Very sad.

Cancer sucks!


Not Celebrating Mother's Day with Mom

>> Thursday, May 6, 2010

Mother's Day is rolling around and young kids and adult kids all over the place are scrambling to make or buy for the perfect gift for mom.  What am I doing for my mom?

Nothing.  You reap what you sow and she sowed a lot of dysfunction.

  • Did she attend parent night when all the football players and cheerleaders were given flowers and walked onto the field with their parents?  Nope, neither of my parents showed up.  Somebody else's parents walked me out on the field (after I cried a lot).
  • Was she there during any of the other high school years?  Nope, she was too busy trying to commit suicide or pretending to for attention so she was home and dazed or away at the hospital for her own protection.  Such fond memories...
  • Where was she when my father kicked me out of the house (that he wasn't even living in at the time with my mother) when I was 17?  She was sitting on the couch making out with him while I walked my boxes out to my car.  Blech. Hurl. Yak.
  • She walked in and out of my birthing room during my firstborn's delivery, despite my not wanting her there because she thought she had every right to be there regardless of how I felt.  She made it all about her.  Funny thing though...she never remembers that child's birthday.  She doesn't remember my other kids' birthdays either so at least she doesn't treat my kids differently eh?  She doesn't play favorites between my kids...she plays favorites between her daughters' families. 
  • Did she bother to come spend ANY time with her grandchildren when we were up there in March?  She was supposed to.  She was expected to.  She never showed up.

I used to go through the motions with her with phone calls, gifts, etc. but the toxic relationship was tearing me up.  When some stuff happened a few years ago when my daughter was hurt by a family member, my mother took sides - the WRONG side.  Nobody was asking her to take sides though but she jumped to one side of the line and my family was on the other side of the line (my daughter's therapist, Protective Services, and the Sheriff's Dept. was on my side of the line as well).  Just stay neutral, be grandma but she couldn't manage that.  That was IT for me. 

What is sad (for her anyway)?  My kids have stopped noticing that their mam-maw just doesn't act like a grandmother anymore.  I guess it's a good thing my kids aren't being hurt (I think they're forgetting who she is honestly).  My four year old asked me a couple weeks ago if my mother was dead.  Even my father, who I had an extremely antagonistic relationship with for as long as I can remember, remembers my kids' birthdays and holidays.  His card is always the first one to arrive every single time.

Usually I don't give my mother much thought.  She's in another state and her drama doesn't touch me often.  With our recent trip north when she didn't show to see her grandkids, I'm a bit ticked at the moment.  One of my sisters told me recently that she thinks our mother is really sick (physically) and in denial about it.  I don't know whether she is or not but I know I can't live with the toxic on a daily basis like I used to with her.  So if she is sick, does it change anything?  Not now.  Not yet.  Not sure if it will. 

Being a mother is not about birthing a child (though there are a lot of ex's that think that eh?).  Being a mother is about how you love and nurture children, how you teach children to love and respect others and help them grow to be responsible adults.  That makes a lot of stepmoms who love and nurture children who aren't their own pretty darn good moms! 

We will celebrate Mother's Day long distance this weekend - for my mother-in-law who I am thankful for.  She loves my kids, remembers them, and doesn't play favorites.  My own mother lost out because we have some darn good kids:)


Missed My Stepdaughter's Distress Text!

>> Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Well, I officially don't want to get on anymore weight scales until my thyroid is back under control. My weight is up four pounds and my doctor isn't returning my phone calls to find out what to do about my thyroid/adrenals crashing.  This past weekend, my hair was falling out again.  My husband kept pulling strands of it off my hands.  Apparently every time I ran my hands through my hair or moved it out of my face, I came away with hair in my hands.  I am still falling asleep in the middle of the day and again early in the evening too.  I'm losing hair, gaining weight, and the exhaustion is knocking on my backside.

Last night, my stepdaughter texted me because she was going through a difficult period and I didn't even hear my phone go off right next to my bed.  I was out!  I was upset that I missed her text.  She needed to talk to me and I was zonked.  I emailed her mom today to let her know.  Her mom said they were up until 1:00 a.m. trying to get her through the emotional upheaval she was going through last night.  I feel bad that I missed her text when she needed me.


Wondering if Stepdaughter Would Live With Us

I just found out today from a friend that the local University offers classes to high school juniors and seniors for college credit.  Instead of attending high school, they attend the college if their SAT scores are high enough.  If the grades stay high, college is free!  That would be fantastic for my stepdaughter to do since we have no idea how we are going to pay for her college.  It gets her that much closer to her vet degree AND gets her away from the bad boy that has been causing her so much emotional and mental distress. 

Even with all of that, I am not sure the ex would let her do it.  My stepdaughter would have to live with us.  I contacted our high school and the college to get more information so we can look it over anyway.  Doesn't hurt to ask for it.

In the meantime, we have some things to look forward to.  My sister is planning on bringing her RV to our state to camp and spend time with us.  My kids love that.  I'm sure she knows what to do for a travel emergency since they've had the RV for a few years now. I think it'd be fun, especially for the kids. Their RV is like a home.  Then we will make another trip this summer to the state my stepkids live so going to have to start saving for that now too.

Lots to look forward to.  I think it'd be great if my stepdaughter could get college credit during her senior year of high school for free.  Definitely need more information!


Pulled Ourselves Out of the Fire

>> Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Looks like we are pulling ourselves out of the fire.  Just when I was wondering if I should be sending resumes out, knowing I probably wouldn't make much more in our rural area than I do now working from home, if I had to pay child care to work outside the home, it looks like if we sign on all the right dotted lines, we'll be able to get out house out of foreclosure. 

We tried to refinance for a lower interest rate before we were late but Bank of America required way too many thousands to close the loan so behind we fell. When we were three months behind, we sent them three months' worth of payments to catch us up but Bank of America returned them to us! They said it was too late.  Looks like they wanted it to go into foreclosure.

With hours cut at my husband's work since last Fall, paying all the past due school taxes that we didn't know were required here to be paid when we moved here a few years ago (imagine the penalty fees on those...yikes!), the trip to our homestate and then unexpected family here for Easter and then more unexpected family the week after, the money was flying out the windows, plus shelling out a ton on propane over the winter to keep us from turning into popsicles, it's been a financial storm for us for months. 

We talked to a debt consolidation place but get this - we don't make enough money for their help.  Huh?  They gave us suggestions - no phone service, spend less on clothing (with all our kids...we already shop at Walmart and Goodwill), and see about getting child support lowered.  They didn't give us any suggestions that were actually doable!

Now that the foreclosure process has moved to the courts, they are willing to refinance for that lower interest rate without taking our firstborn with the new mortgage papers.  Knowing how the economy is, how the automotive industry is (which my husband is in) and with foreclosures everywhere, why didn't they just do that last Fall when we asked them to begin with?  Geez!


Children's Allergy and Cold Medications Recalled

>> Sunday, May 2, 2010

There has been a recall for children's allergy and cold medicine.  According to CNN:

The affected brands include: Tylenol Infants' Drops, Children's Tylenol Suspensions, Children's Tylenol Plus Suspensions, Motrin Infant Drops, Children's Motrin Suspensions, Children's Zyrtec Liquids in Bottles and Children's Benadryl Allergy Liquids in Bottles.

To find out more, click here.


  © Blogger templates Shiny by 2008

Back to TOP