What a Weekend!!!

What a weekend!

My freshman was asked to the junior/senior prom.  Car date?  That sure puts butterflies in my stomach!

My six-year-old has been spiking fevers all weekend!  She shot up to 104.8! I can handle the headaches, stomachaches, and vomiting she's been having but when a fever shoots that high - scary! I was able to get her fever down from that high spike so it wasn't an ER trip for her.  Poor thing. She is still pretty sick today but the fevers are within manageable range at least.  I heard that there is a virus going around the school.  There always is.  *sigh*  Now I wait to see if my other three children get the virus.

The dog pictures SD wants for her tattoo?  She's still asking her dad. DH asked me again over the weekend.  Seriously? With all the stuff going on at home that I am handling by myself because of dh's work schedule, what my disrespectful SD wants to tattoo on her body is the LAST thing on my list to do!

Definition of DISENGAGE:

dis·en·gage/ˌdisenˈgāj/

Verb:

Detach, free, loosen, or separate (something). Detach oneself; get loose.

v. dis·en·gaged, dis·en·gag·ing, dis·en·gag·es. v.tr. 1. To release from something that holds fast, connects, or entangles

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Homecoming, Memorials, Turning 40

Next weekend is my freshman daughter's first homecoming!  She and one other freshman were invited to a formal dinner by a senior in the school to attend before homecoming (catered by her family's restaurant I would imagine).  These two girls were the only freshman invited so my daughter got a thrill out of that.  This senior is a very nice girl and has been nice to my daughter, despite the age difference the last few years.  Then she'll attend her first homecoming with a group of her friends (no dating yet).  This weekend is dress shopping so she's very excited.

Next weekend is also the weekend of my grandmother's memorial that I am not going to attend.  I won't ask my daughter to give up her first homecoming to attend a memorial in another state for somebody she didn't know (I hadn't seen her in years - we had a falling out due to the very strained - antagonistic, angry - relationship I've had with my father (her son) from the time I was a child (total dysfunction in the family...rotten).  Anyway, my father tried to lay a guilt trip on me about not attending the memorial but after the childhood he gave me and the fact that he moved to the other side of the country from his own kids, grandkids and mother with my most recent stepmother (not one of the women he cheated on my mother with...this was three girlfriends later...or four, I don't know - lost count), pfft. I'm sure he knows where I think he should put his guilt trip!

No matter how old you get (and I'm staring at 40 next month), the family dysfunction never really goes away.

Speaking of 40 - I received a compliment last night.  I overheard one of my son's friends say, "That's your mom?  She looks like a teenager!"  hee hee  40 isn't looking too shabby to me at the moment! Maybe I won't cry as hard as I think I will.

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Memorial & Funeral or Homecoming?

My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago in another state. There was drama over that in itself but I stayed out of it mostly, with the exception of talking to my sisters about it privately.  My uncle had his mom cremated and sent to his state for a memorial.  Her remains will come to the state I grew up in for another memorial in September and then burial. My grandmother had most of this planned (finances, where she wanted to be buried) and taken care of herself (good thing for funeral insurance).  Her kids picked the dates.  Making the arrangements and having it paid for, so who you leave behind doesn't have to, is such a good idea!

Anyway, the date my father planned the memorial in our home state is homecoming weekend for my high school daughter.  She is in the parade, a part of the homecoming football game and then, of course, the dance.  GRRRR!  Gee, how can I be in the state I grew up in for my grandmother's memorial and burial and at the same time be in our state for my daughter?  This stinks.

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Oldest Starting High School

I dropped my oldest off at freshman orientation this morning at the high school.  I can't believe my first born is starting high school already.  What I can't believe even more - - that I'm old enough to have a freshman high school kid!!  hee hee

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Stepkids Come Tomorrow (without the boyfriend:)

My stepkids come tomorrow evening and stay until Tuesday evening.  I've shopped for a hungry teenage boy and I think my kitchen is ready for him!  My stepdaughter isn't a vegetarian anymore so I didn't need to shop a bit differently for her this time.  This time tomorrow, they'll be here.

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Teenage Health - Acne, Weight, Irregular Cycles, Moods

I just finished reading Dr. Erika's Hormone Solution for Your Daughter (Dr. Erika Schwartz) and it was a good book.  I like solutions that give you other options for behaviors other than just Prozac and other options for regulating a teen's menstrual cycle other than birth control pills.  There is a lot more information in the book as well (such as weight and acne) and the use of supplements like natural progesterone (natural, not synthetic), Coenzyme Q, L-carnitine, B-complex, Omega-3, Vitamin C, Iron, Magnesium, and calcium supplements.

My stepson was diagnosed with ADHD years ago and I can say, by experience, that Omega-3 made a HUGE difference in his ADHD symptoms.  He wasn't hyper or misbehaving while on them and when I'd forget to give them to him - wow!  Noticeable difference.  I give all of our kids the gummy Omega-3 supplements, not just my stepson when he's here, for their health.  At first, they hated the taste of them but within a week, they all loved them.  My stepson's mother wouldn't give him Omega-3 though unless his pediatrician told her she could and his pediatrician only had him on ADHD drugs that made him tired and hurt his stomach.  Big Pharma won out there.

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Do you treat 17 year old stepchild like an adult?

Do you treat a 17-year-old like an adult? 

On facebook, I have a kids list set up so anything I post that I don't want kids to see (status message not appropriate to kids, a music video I don't want them to see, etc.), I exclude all the kids using my "kids list".  I don't have my 17-year-old stepchild on the kids list because her dad said that she's old enough now.  There are times when I wonder if that is ok from the standpoint of appropriate material but there is also the standpoint that her mother can log into her facebook (I would imagine she would know her children's passwords but I don't have verification that she does) and would be seeing this as well.  Not that she'd have much to say because my 14 year old stepson swears like a sailor and it seems to be just fine over there but just the thought of it...

Don't misunderstand - it's not like I am putting anything R-rated or more on my facebook because family is on there too but there are things that I'd just rather not have children see.  My stepdaughter is 17-1/2 now but I still cringe at viewing her entirely as an adult just yet. 

She doesn't want to be on the kids list (no big surprise there).  What 17-year-old wants to be included with the younger age group? 

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Teenage Years are Trying Times Already!

My stepdaughter told me when she was down here that she had been engaged this past year (she's a junior in high school).  Surprised was one word I'd use to describe my reaction, but I didn't let her know any of my feelings about it.  Yikes!

Knowing what we know now about her boyfriend (or ex...if he is an ex...who knows anymore), she dodged a bullet if they're no longer together.  I think he has the possibility of being physically dangerous (he's already emotionally/mentally dangerous in our opinion). 

She did go to prom with him this last weekend, supposedly as friends.  She wasn't allowed to drive with him but met him there instead.  Her mother drove her and picked her up which was a good thing.  I wonder if they're really just friends or pretending to be just friends because she knows her mother won't let her near him otherwise. 

This teenage stuff?  It stinks.  She's the oldest.  We have five more to go!

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I'm the Mother of a Teenager Officially

One of my daughter's birthday cakes.  This one looks like her puppy.

I am now officially the mother of a teenager.  I've been the stepmother of a teenager (well, teenagers) for a few years now but that's not the same thing.  They aren't my kids and they don't live with us.  Now I get the pleasure of a teenager full-time to raise.  (As of right now, my stepkids also haven't contacted their sister to wish her a happy birthday either...let's see if they do.)

When I picked up my daughter's cake this morning (isn't it cute?), I grabbed a package of 50 DVD's too.  If I don't get these pictures and videos made into some type of viewable format, my kids will have their own kids before I get around to it.  I want to do a scrapbook for each child...but I don't know how to do that.  I have to do something with all of these picture and video files and DVD's seem like a good way to store them.  At least I hope so.  It's not as secure as secure online backup but it'll be handy. I can lock them in our fireproof box to protect them until I figure out what to do with the result of my photographic addiction.

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I'll Be Mom of Teen Tomorrow

Tomorrow my oldest will officially become a teenager.  Hormonally speaking, she became a teenager these last six months if her attitude and mood swings are any indication but technically, it's tomorrow.  It's not like I'm ready for a Medicare supplement or anything like that, but it does make me feel a little old to be the parent of a teenager.  I join the ranks with my husband whose children are both teenagers.  Huh, it's about the only thing the ex and I have in common.  Just a little joke...

At this time 13 years ago, my water had already broke and I was shopping in Babies R Us buying last minute things we needed for her before she was born.  An ice storm was on its way (and it hit that night). 

We have her present ready and a cake on order for our own little party tomorrow (with her big party with her friends a couple weeks away).  I'm trying to avoid having a horde of teenagers descend on my house so I'm looking for a coffeehouse or something similar with open mic night for them to party there.  Let somebody else clean up the mess.

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The First Dance

My 12-year-old daughter has her first dance this Saturday. She has a pretty dress, jewelry and shoes. We had a hard time finding shoes for her. She didn't want to go with heels because she wants to be able to dance comfortably. I told her most people just take their shoes off anyway but she insisted on flats. Since I didn't see any comfortable sandals (I saw online that Dansko makes some sandals that look comfortable but they weren't quite dressy enough for the dress we bought), we found her a pair of dressy flats to wear with her dress. It's a black and white dance with masquerade masks. Sounds fun!

The dress has spaghetti straps so we bought her a tiny bolero type shrug that covers her shoulders (it's against school policy to wear spaghetti straps). We also had to make sure it was long enough (finger tip test) and the front wasn't too low (the three finger rule). Seems like she's in a parochial school doesn't it? It's a public school.

I can't believe that my baby is going to her first dance. She'll be a teenager in a couple months. I wonder if I'll be happy on Saturday seeing her all dressed up like a young lady or teary. We shall see.

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Teens Scared to Work?

A few months ago, I asked my 15 year old stepdaughter if she was going to get her first job soon (not to be mean or anything, lol, just curious as most teens do get a part-time job to pay for things they want). She's old enough to babysit and in a few months, she'll be old enough to work in restaurants and such. It turns out, she's not going to. Apparently, she won't babysit anybody but family because she's afraid the father of any child/ren she sits for may molest her. The same for working outside the house at say, McDonald's or something, other than with her mother. She's afraid. She will only work with her mother.

So, since she was a little girl, they (stepson too) have been afraid to leave their mother they said because their mother cried at home without them when they went to dad's house (therapists confirmed unhealthy behavior). Then they were being told our house had serial killer ghosts in it to scare them about going to dad's house. They've slept in their mother's bedroom (up until recently I've been told)...and I wouldn't doubt they still are. Now, my stepdaughter is saying she is afraid to work anywhere except for her mother.

See a pattern here?

Is your teen afraid to babysit outside the family? Is your teen afraid to work outside the family?

I babysat a couple dozen kids by the time I was her age. My first job outside of babysitting was at a Tubby's restaurant. Then, I worked two jobs (doctor's office after school and waitressing in a chinese restaurant after leaving the doctor's office and on weekends) while going to school and maintaining good grades. I had my own car and made my own car payments and insurance payments in high school. None of my kids are getting a free ride when it comes to cars and insurance. They want it? They work for it. I'm not sure if my stepdaughter's mother plans on buying my stepdaughter her car and paying for it for her. I know it's not something my husband or I will do for my stepchildren or our own children.

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