Men Can Have Babies?

>> Monday, March 31, 2008

OMG! I just saw the preview of an upcoming news segment about a pregnant man. I can't believe it! Will a man finally know firsthand what morning sickness is? What it's like to get huge and have ligaments stretching painfully and reminding you every time you moved? I don't see how they will be able to experience the pain of birthing a child out of your body unless they have female parts. To read more, check it out here.

Ahhhhhh...the segment just aired and the man who is pregnant was once a woman and had a sex change but kept the necessary body parts to get pregnant. Now I understand.

There seems to be a big controversy about this. I don't have any opinion of it. To each his - or her - own.


The Stepkids Went Home

>> Sunday, March 30, 2008

The stepkids went home yesterday. It'll be at least a couple of months before we see them again (during summer break). My oldest cried for about an hour. My son cried for two hours straight. Our other two kids were ok (the two not closest in age to their half siblings). To take their mind off of their sadness, we went bowling last night (only my second time EVER bowling, lol...I broke two nails.)

I took a lot of pictures and movies while they were here (in case it is longer than a couple months until we see them never know), put it all together onto a dvd into a movie, and sent the movie home with the stepkids. I wonder if this one will work in their computer or dvd player. They never have before though they've always worked fine here (imagine that). Yes, that is sarcasm.

My house is quiet again. My house is clean again.

I found out that my stepson wasn't as good as I had thought (well other than the hyperactivity/loud behavior we had to tell him to settle down with on numerous occasions). I thought he was better because nobody needed medical attention. He did have one occasion where he got ticked off at me because I made him put back the 50 or so books that were throwing around my daughter's room. Boy was he mad. He whipped one at my stepdaughter and hit her right in the temple. Mad at me? Oh well. I found out that he was swearing - A LOT - in front of the younger kids, even calling my daughter that "b" word twice. He didn't swear in front of me ever (he knows better) but I guess he swears at home. My stepdaughter said they have a swear jar that they have to put money in when they swear. Yeah, that's obviously working for him! Not. If I really wanted my kid to stop swearing and what I was doing wasn't working (the swear jar obviously isn't), I'd try something else. A swear jar for stepson? That's a joke.

I hear Irish Spring soap is an acquired taste.


Communication With Stepkids

>> Saturday, March 29, 2008

Is communication with your child/stepchild made difficult because of the ex? Does he or she interfere when you write to them by withholding the letters until it suits him/her to give them to the child or throwing them away before they can be read? Do your emails get read first by the ex, even though they are addressed to the kid to his or her own personal email address? What about when the siblings try to maintain contact with each other? Are they met with the same interference from the ex? Are phone calls between the siblings allowed or does your child get hung up on when they try to call your other child/stepchild? Is your stepchild allowed unlimited texting with his/her friends and the ex's family but not yours, with the ex telling them not "to waste" texts? Are you banned from the child's personal myspace pages though the ex and his/her family is allowed open access...with the ex even going so far as to put up fake pictures on his/her profile so you don't know it's him/her (obviously underestimating your intelligence and showing his/her sad level of intelligence)?

Pretty pathetic huh?


She's Not MY Problem!

>> Thursday, March 27, 2008

When things are getting ridiculous with dealings with my spouse's ex (happens often to a lot of us step-parents too unfortunately), my motto is simple:

I didn't sleep with her. She's not my problem.

That means that I let my spouse handle his ex. Sometimes, disengaging is the best thing for a person's sanity. It has worked quite well for me when it's been needed.


Step-Parent Peeve

If there is one thing that bugs me with being a stepmother is when decisions are made that affect MY life, MY finances, MY kids without being consulted. This can be something the ex can do but it can also be something your spouse does possibly.

If it concerns the stepkids, I disengage. If I am not consulted about something then I have no responsibility for it. That means I no longer cook meals, do laundry, babysit, or chauffeur stepkids around. I leave that to the bio-parent! It goes right to "not my kids, not my problem" in this instance.

If it involves my own kids being affected, I become quite angry. Nobody takes my parenting choices away from me or does something that negatively affects my children and expects that to be ok with me.


Stepson floods my bathrooms

>> Wednesday, March 26, 2008

My bathroom was flooded today. Apparently, my stepson doesn't shut the shower curtain all the way. There was so much water that it leaked through the floor and down to the lower floor bathroom/utility. It's a good thing the basket of dirty laundry caught a lot of water. Otherwise, instead of 1/4" flood of water around the downstairs bathroom/laundry, it would've been gushing. I cleaned that up and sent my husband, stepson's dad, to clean up the bathroom that my stepson had used - the source of the flood! I mean, there was A LOT of water. Half his shower must've come out of the tub!


My younger kids who take showers on their own know to do this. You'd think a kid his age would already know this.


Teenagers Sure Do Eat A Lot

>> Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I've spent double what I usually spend on groceries the past few days and we are going to need more groceries tomorrow again. People sometimes say, "what's one more kid?" Let me tell you that two more teenaged kids (equal six total but mine are all elementary age and younger and don't eat like their teenaged siblings) makes a HUGE difference in the food budget. I feel like it's a neverending round of meals and messes.

I'm a little worried about my stepdaughter's eating habits though. She only drinks water. Period. No milk, no juices. Water is definitely good for her but is she getting enough of what she needs? She says milk hurts her stomach and she can't drink it (we've never heard that before...she always drank milk when she was here before without any problems at all). If she's developed an intolerance, that's something mommy dearest should've told us about. I'm not supposed to drink milk either so it's not like we wouldn't understand that if it is true. I offered fruit yesterday and my kids scrambled for it and my stepchildren refused it. Today I didn't offer. I put fruit on their plates without asking them whether they wanted any or not. I also cut up cheese and put it on my stepdaughter's place so she'd get some calcium in her. I handed out children's multi-vitamins too.

My stepdaughter also said she's allergic to dogs (that's news to us too since we've always had dogs and she has a dog at her mother's too). You'd think having an allergy is something her mother would've told their father about since it's one of her responsibilities when you share legal custody...if it's true.

Who knows what's true.


What the kids are like after all this time.

>> Monday, March 24, 2008

After all the anger/aggression from my stepson the last decade, so far no anger that I've seen. He's very hyper and a huge clown. He gets out of control in that respect and somebody is going to get hurt if you don't settle him down, but no sign of anger yet. I am hopeful this visit will go by without my kids needing a trip to a doctor for an injury this time. *fingers crossed*

He has changed a lot physically. He's bigger - not just taller but he's put on a lot of weight. He used to be wiry and solid and now he's soft and "husky" I will call it. He admitted to being out of shape after coming in the first time playing with the kids. I don't think he could keep up with his younger siblings. He's definitely not been an active pre-teen you can definitely tell that. He eats too much junk food. Way too much. The way my kids are running him around outside, he might need regular size jeans instead of the larger ones by the time he goes home.

My stepdaughter looks older and a little bit more distant (she's not the girl who used to climb into our laps and cuddle anymore) but she's 15. To be expected I guess. I still see parts of the my old stepdaughter in her coming out - goofing off with us and laughing. I think it was awkward at first after having not seen each other for so long but that's going away now.

After all the easter candy yesterday and pies, I told the kids to brush their teeth before bedtime. Apparently, they only brush their teeth at their biological mother's once a day and it's in the morning. Blech. I could see their teeth rotting after all the sugar they put in their mouths yesterday. I asked my husband to get them to brush their teeth (our four were brushed and ready for bed already:) Makes a momma proud:)

Well, we haven't seen their biological mother in almost two years so the changes in the pics my stepdaughter has are quite obvious. My husband said she's not aging well and that's all I'll say about what he said 'cause if you don't have anything nice to know the rest.


They Came. Oh my!

Well, the stepkids did come. Their mother didn't call their dad back at all. She called his mother back; not my husband, the father of her kids. Nevermind that he had called her several times and left a message about their kids coming over the next morning. Never mind he had called my stepdaughter's cell phone too. Does she bother to call him back about the kids coming to our place the next morning? That's a big NO. I don't know what kind of stupid thrill that woman gets out of having their father chase her with phone calls. It's quite juvenile.

And where was she during all of these calls? Out visiting in a snowstorm. Yup, snowstorm and she has the kids out unnecessarily on the roads until after dark. Not only that, on the way home they were involved in a spinout with cars in front of her spinning out of control and then her. With the kids in the car. Out unnecessarily in a snowstorm. We were told she almost hit a pole on sd's side of the car. Out unnecessarily in a snowstorm. Did I say that already?


Let's see...out in a snowstorm unnecessarily until after dark. Out in sports bars until morning hours with the kids. Out in an over 21 club with the kids to watch a band. These are the things the stepkids tell us about.

You know, if their father was to do even 2% of what she's done with the kids, she'd be all over him, insulting his parenting skills, and blaming him (us) for everything.

But she's THE MOM. Like that excuses it.


Spring Break Plans

>> Friday, March 21, 2008

Well, assuming the stepkids do come for break like they were supposed to, our plans right now are to go horseback riding, decorate easter cookies, make a huge Easter meal, and spend some time with the kids' grandparents. It is going to be a busy week. If the stepkids don't come like they are supposed to, we will still go ahead with our plans so our kids don't lose out. Our kids will be terribly upset if their brother and sister don't come - devastated. If my kids are devastated because of the ex/stepkids, momma is NOT going to be happy. I hope if they don't come that they don't expect us to ship them their easter baskets because that's not happening. won't be sending the stepkids' easter baskets to them if they back out. I'd divide it up between our four kids:)

I'm wondering - no return phone calls, no return text messages, and no return emails the past couple of days...wondering if they plan to make an appearance and spend some time with the rest of their family. Pick up times should've been arranged already since it is 200 miles away!



There are many resources online for non-custodial parents. One of these is SPARC. They are non-custodial parent advocates. Check out their solution to telephone access. It's a great option!


So are they coming or not?

Well, my husband has been trying to get hold of his ex-girlfriend for the last two days and no answer and no return phone call from the phone and text cell messages yet. Nice. The kids are supposed to be picked up tomorrow morning 200 miles away and a time confirmed for pick up and nobody can get hold of the ex.


We had almost two years without dealing with this mess.



Hey everybody, if you have a second, take the poll at the right here about loving your stepchild/ren. I'm curious what everybody thinks.


Who's Your Daddy?

>> Thursday, March 20, 2008

Said to be an anti-extortion tool, this is not a good product to be so readily available over the counter on the market for women who lie about the paternity of their children ~

From RooTV:

Click here to watch or click the link below:

Tossing aside some of the inane comments the two parties were flipping back and forth at each other on the above video (they were both way out there on some of their comments), I think these are a good idea for some people. They are available at Rite-Aid now. I wish my husband had done this 12 years ago after he told me of a comment his ex had made to him. Now that it is so readily available, it's not too late, lol.

These statistics were also mentioned: Out of 6,000 paternity tests done in Australia, it was found that 25% of them found that the woman lied about who the father was. 25% is a HUGE number of kids not to know who their father really was and for men, who weren't really fathers, to be paying for somebody else's child! 1500 is 25%! I would really like to investigate that statistic and see if it is true. Makes you wonder how many kids over here don't know who their daddy is, doesn't it?


How did daddy have my brother and sister?

>> Wednesday, March 19, 2008

My two middle kids just came to me to ask me how their daddy had my stepson and stepdaughter when he wasn't married to their mother. *sigh*

How do I explain it? Let's see...

  • Sometimes accidents happen, or
  • Daddy met this woman in the bar and they didn't use protection, or
  • She couldn't drag daddy down the aisle no matter what, or
  • ????

Heck if I know how to answer this right now. I'm not in the right mindset to deal with this right now. My computer is acting up and I want to toss it through a window. My daughter is practicing her flute and one of the keys is messed up making is sound odd. My son keeps coming to me to hold his snake (which I am putting off as long as I can...gross).

I have nothing personally against people who have kids outside of marriage. (If I hadn't been married by a certain time, I would have gone ahead to have kids outside of marriage then. I'm just glad it didn't work out that way for me personally.) I just wish people would use protection if you are going to have sex with an individual you barely know. You don't know what kind of situation you are getting yourself into, or bringing a child into, for the next 18 years otherwise. Live and learn I guess.

I think I better go take care of my son and his snake now.


Easter Shopping for Stepkids

Well, I bought all the easter stuff today for all the kids. Since my stepdaughter and stepson will be here for easter, I bought everything equal. If they weren't going to be here, we of course wouldn't mail them an easter basket but some type of gift/candy instead. However, this year they get the full basket with candy and toys.


The Stepkids Are Coming

Well, hubby did send that email to his ex about getting the kids for his spring break after not being able to get hold of her many times via phone. She responded back by email to call her. It did not surprise me that she would do something this silly, but it really was quite inane. Send an email to tell somebody to call you. Why not pick up the phone yourself if you want to talk to somebody on the phone about something?

My husband is nicer than I am as he did call her back (I would've let her know my opinion of her email right back at her). She was actually home this time (we are assuming she really wasn't home all those other times he called her to try to see his kids...yeah, ok). So, the kids are coming this weekend for the first time in almost two years.

Hubby had to chase her down via phone, even though arranging this by phone was at her request, to get his kids. Even though she has email access at home and at work. Even though it meant not getting winter break with the kids because she was never home according to the stepkids when hubby would call there to make the arrangements by phone that their mother insisted on. (Knowing that we've been lied to countless times by my stepdaughter, makes you wonder if this was true too when the kids claimed she wasn't home.) Ridiculous the lengths you have to go to in order to have a relationship with your own children.

You see, the ex thinks that if she discusses it with him via phone, it excludes me. What she refuses to realize is that 1) my husband and I discuss everything beforehand so we are in agreement with what will take place during his phone call with her; and 2) if we are not in agreement about something that comes up during the phone call, it is easily rectified with another phone call or email to her to modify.

She can try to exclude me, but it's not happening. I guess she can dream anyway.


Next Parenting Time

>> Sunday, March 9, 2008

Well, hubby requested visitation with his kids for winter break and spring break by sending the ex-girlfriend an email. She responsed back via email to call her. (She can't call HIM even though SHE is the one requesting to talk to him on the phone.) Hubby has tried calling there several times to talk to her. She's supposedly never home. Yeah, right. So, he didn't get winter break with the kids because she was supposedly never home for them to discuss the exchange. He had also asked for spring break with the kids which is coming up in less than two weeks. He finally had it with chasing after the ex via phone. The last time he called, he left the message that as far as he was concerned, the plans for spring break to have the kids here for spring break were settled. Again, she didn't call back. Nothing.

I told him to confirm in email his intentions to meet her and such and such a place and time, to reitierate that he'd tried calling her many times, at her request, to discuss it and had not been able to get hold of her. Leave a paper trail.

I can't wait until my stepson graduates from high school - a little more than five years from now there will be no legal connection to the ex-girlfriend. There is going to be a ~ P * A * R * T * Y ~ then.

Get Your Own Countdown Generator at


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