Daughter's Birthday Went By Ignored

>> Sunday, April 24, 2011

My ten-year-old had a birthday on Friday.  Her two oldest siblings ignored it.  Not a text, not a facebook message -  nothing.  Though, I noticed my stepdaughter did wish one of her friends a happy birthday on her facebook on that day.  Wasn't that nice of her.


He Ruined Her Pretend Image! Interesting thought...

>> Saturday, April 23, 2011

I think I've figured it out!  During the last 15+ years of my husband's ex-girlfriend being angry and bitter, I thought she was behaving so ugly because my husband didn't want her, he moved on and married happily.  I thought she used the kids by emotionally manipulating to get back at him because he didn't love her and wanted nothing to do with a romantic relationship with her all the while she played victim to his family and pretended to be something she wasn't - nice, civil, fair, human (take your pick).  I thought she warped her kids because she was bitter over the fact that their dad didn't want her.

Well, I don't think that was it.  Well, that wasn't all of it anyway.

You see, the ex likes to pretend she's the Virgin Mary in terms of her religious beliefs (never mind that she hasn't gone to church in a decade and had two kids out of wedlock, three pregnancies - from two different guys while never being married).  *Shhhh, nobody is supposed to remember that.*

I think the fact that my husband's refusal to set a wedding date and moving on left her unable to hide behind a marriage license the fact that she had sex outside of marriage.  That had to burn.  In her very Catholic family, that's a huge no-no (though her family hated HIM for it after it was all said and done, not her - like she didn't share 50% of the blame for creating those kids outside of marriage).  She can't introduce a husband who fathered those kids, or even an ex-husband - legitimizing those pregnancies in the church's eyes that she tries to pretend she's such a devout follower of to everybody.

Now - I don't believe in the sex is a sin outside of marriage bit.  I personally think what goes on between consenting adults is between those consenting adults and not anybody else - not other family members, not a church, etc.  My crank over this is the fact that the ex tries to pretend she is somebody she isn't to everybody (and some are even silly enough to believe her) and takes no responsibility for the problems.

How did I come to that conclusion?  A comment she left on my stepdaughter's facebook about her going to a nice, Catholic college (away from the "damn sluts" at her current high school).  Hmmm...whose the "damn slut" in her view of her life?  SHE would technically be one of those "damn sluts" by her own view of her religion.  Now she can try to buy her religious image back by sending my stepdaughter to a Catholic college for $65K/year.  Hope that turns out well for her.


Religious Hypocrites for Good Friday

>> Friday, April 22, 2011

I was raised Catholic though I don't consider myself Catholic anymore.  Too much  hypocrisy, my idea of "God" is quite different than one that would send souls to hell, their concept of "confession" just bugs the hell out of me, and priests...well, there's been enough in the news that I don't need to go further.  My childhood priest ran off with his secretary in his black Pontiac Firebird!  Wonderful values!!

The point of this blog post - I'm getting there now.  Sometimes I get off track.

Facebook can be a great source of irritation where it concerns my stepkids.  Now that their mother is finally on their facebook (after I contacted her twice about my stepson's obscene vile he posted online because she wasn't supervising him), she can be a third source of irritation and laughs.

My stepdaughter (you'll have to read previous posts over the last couple weeks about her and Facebook) posted the other day about damn sluts who need to get the hell out of her high school.  Her mother responded on her facebook about how she'll be with the nice Catholic girls at her college soon (that's the $65K/year college my stepdaughter is going to).

OMG, did I roll in laughter.  Her mother pretends to be a nice Catholic girl.  The fact that she's had two kids out of wedlock, her and my husband picked each other up in a bar, she's never been married and had another pregnancy with a different guy besides the two kids she had out of wedlock with hubby, she hasn't gone to church in at least a decade and she's mean as hell.  Just screams nice catholic girl, doesn't it?

Perhaps spending $65/K a year for college is a way to buy back into that mirage of being a nice Catholic girl stuff.  Sometimes, the ex can be frustrating, annoying, hateful and hate-inspiring, but this morning, she's giving me the giggles over the hypocrisy.  Wow did I bust out laughing when I read that post of hers -  the hypocrisy that is the ex!  My stepdaughter isn't innocent either and the ex well knows it.  That $65,000/year should go far for both of them I guess.

Maybe that's why she's been even more hateful to hubby the past 16 years (moreso than when he lived with her) - he ruined her fantasy of being a nice Catholic girl when he didn't marry her and fix her sins (hide them for her behind a marriage license).


Update: SD Calling Me Out on Facebook

>> Thursday, April 21, 2011

I posted about a week ago about how my stepdaughter was starting crap on my Facebook with me.  See that post here.  The next day after that post, she did end up responding back with another comment of  "inappropriate!!" and then the one that made me just shake my head:  

" whatever, im not about to start something.aha"

Um, isn't that what you already did?  What was your point in all this then?

Here, stepmom, I'm going to give you crap on your Facebook in front of 200+ family and friends and then turn around a week later and request you and my father pay for my college books.  Yeah, we'll get right on that, darling.

Then...then...then...after calling me out on my Facebook because I called myself a "dumbass" in a private post for the "over 18 friends/family on my facebook" (I use filters) on my Facebook page, she just posted about "damn sluts" at her school on her Facebook for the rest of the public high school and family (almost 500 friends) on her facebook to see.  Hypocrite much?


Stepkid Ramblings - College, Paternity, Gifts

So much for getting some distance from her suffocating mother.  My stepdaughter isn't going to room at college. She's going to drive back and forth (about an hour each way - in good traffic).  That means she doesn't need that huge flat-screen television from us anymore that she'd "requested" for her dorm room for her graduation present (along with a projector and brand new car - the other two items she asked us for...I know, pick yourself up off the floor...I had to.).  Now she has requested we buy her college books for her as her high school graduation gift.  How much are books anyway for a college that costs $65,000/year?  Any estimates?  I don't have a clue either.

So, continuing to live with the ex while in college means that, 1) sd will continue to feel like she needs prozac, 2) child support will drop a little because she'll have graduated but the relationship will remain the way it is now - difficult - because mommy dearest will be standing between her kid and her kid's father.  Ah well...that's the way it's been for all these years now...why change right?

Since when do you tell people what to get you for graduation?

I asked my husband if he wanted to make a bet with me on what his ex will get sd for graduation.  I'm 99% sure she will buy her a new car.  I was pretty sure of that before we got the news that she was going to making that haul everyday but now that she is - betcha it's a new car.  I wonder if that was dangled in front of her as a way to get her to live at home?  Hmm...  Anyway, my husband didn't take the bet.

Her mother's boss just bought sd a new laptop for her graduation present.  That was actually the gift we were planning on getting her at one point for her graduation but the ex told us SHE was buying it for her instead.

I've often wondered on the paternity of my stepson.  Wouldn't you if there was a guy that's been in the picture that buys kids and ex HUGE gifts (flat screen televisions, computers, trips to Disney, etc.)...kinda looks like my stepson (moreso than my husband)...ex didn't tell my hubby she was pregnant with my ss until she was three months along and they were living together...see the issue here?

Oh well...rattling over.  I see a long list of housekeeping that is just calling my name.


SD Trying to Call Me Out on Facebook

>> Tuesday, April 12, 2011

You might remember back in December-January, there were some problems with my stepson's obscenities on facebook.   If you want to read those posts, here are the links:  my stepson's song about sex on the bus on his facebook here and here and the message he left on my son's facebook here and his younger sister reprimanding him on facebook here and my stepson's response to it here.  Yeah, it's been an issue.  He doesn't use the facebook filters and his comments and obscene songs were going to younger children, not to mention he's 15 and has no business using that language or writing and singing songs about having sex on the bus to begin with! He also had no business going to my son's facebook profile picture of he and his girlfriend and telling him to "get some" from his girlfriend.  My stepson removed me and his siblings from his facebook after I let his mother know twice the obscene content he was displaying on his facebook.

Anyway, that's just the background so you can follow along.

On my facebook, I have a filter for kids under 18 so I can filter them out of anything that I post that I might think inappropriate or on issues I think might become inappropriate.  I usually include my stepdaughter in that filter (she's 18-1/2) because even though she is technically an adult, she's still a kid to me.  She didn't want to be included in the filter but usually, I include her.  Yesterday, I filtered all the "kids" out of a comment I made about my schedule yesterday but didn't filter her because she wants to be an adult.  My comment basically referred to me calling myself "dumbass".  That was the extent of the "swearing".  No f bombs, no sex talk, etc.

Apparently, to her it was wrong though I saw her post the last three letters of that word from her facebook last week (and she knew what her brother's sex on the bus song was all about that he wrote and posted about and hid it from her mother which her mother admitted to).  Hypocrite much?

So for her first unfiltered comment because she wants to be an adult, she calls me out on my language (seriously, you're going to pick "dumbass" as a reason to get in my face?).  When I point out to her that she can be included in the kid filter if she wishes, she commented back on how I got mad at her (15 year old) brother for his language, how I just swore, and she was going to tell my mommy (I told his mother who wasn't supervising his online time about his song he posted on his facebook that he wrote/sang about having sex on the bus, his vile language - f words, b*itch, wh*ore, etc. that younger children were being exposed to so that was where the "tell your mommy" comment came from).  I am 39, he is 15.  There is a difference not only in ages but in the level of words used.  She is calling me out on facebook in front of 200 friends and family, after she wanted to be treated like an adult, because I said "dumbass" (which isn't even considered above PG rating but apparently it was horrendous enough to call me out on facebook about it - something I did not do to my stepson in front of 200 people)?  Here was my response to her about my being "mad" at her brother over his language and my swearing.

We were disappointed with the inappropriate language on his fb and the inappropriate comment left on (my son's) fb that kids could see. I filter my facebook stuff so the "under 18" people on my list can't read anything I post that they shouldn't see or anything that I feel might turn into inappropriate content for them. I can add you to the "under 18" kid list if you want me to. You can tell my mommy if ya want to but I'm sure she says "dumbass" too:D

Somebody in support of me posted about how mild that language was after that and I responded back:

Very mild...my potty mouth here probably wouldn't even get censored on regular TV though I chose to censor it for the under 18 crowd here. I think when I have children on my fb, it's the responsible thing to do.

My stepdaughter hasn't responded.  Go figure.

I told my husband about it this morning - warning him in advance in case somebody in his family decides to involve themselves in it.  He said that his daughter has been very disrespectful to him lately too and he figures since she is 18, that she thinks she can do what she wants and be disrespectful. Yeah, I was nice with my response back to her but she is going back on the "kid list" filter until she's 30.

Hmmm...and I'm supposed to want to put out about $500 for her graduation gift AND another $800 to come see her graduate?  Yeah me.

Gee, I better go wash my mouth...I mean my typewriter...with soap now.  Potty mouth that I am.


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