He Ruined Her Pretend Image! Interesting thought...

I think I've figured it out!  During the last 15+ years of my husband's ex-girlfriend being angry and bitter, I thought she was behaving so ugly because my husband didn't want her, he moved on and married happily.  I thought she used the kids by emotionally manipulating to get back at him because he didn't love her and wanted nothing to do with a romantic relationship with her all the while she played victim to his family and pretended to be something she wasn't - nice, civil, fair, human (take your pick).  I thought she warped her kids because she was bitter over the fact that their dad didn't want her.

Well, I don't think that was it.  Well, that wasn't all of it anyway.

You see, the ex likes to pretend she's the Virgin Mary in terms of her religious beliefs (never mind that she hasn't gone to church in a decade and had two kids out of wedlock, three pregnancies - from two different guys while never being married).  *Shhhh, nobody is supposed to remember that.*


I think the fact that my husband's refusal to set a wedding date and moving on left her unable to hide behind a marriage license the fact that she had sex outside of marriage.  That had to burn.  In her very Catholic family, that's a huge no-no (though her family hated HIM for it after it was all said and done, not her - like she didn't share 50% of the blame for creating those kids outside of marriage).  She can't introduce a husband who fathered those kids, or even an ex-husband - legitimizing those pregnancies in the church's eyes that she tries to pretend she's such a devout follower of to everybody.

Now - I don't believe in the sex is a sin outside of marriage bit.  I personally think what goes on between consenting adults is between those consenting adults and not anybody else - not other family members, not a church, etc.  My crank over this is the fact that the ex tries to pretend she is somebody she isn't to everybody (and some are even silly enough to believe her) and takes no responsibility for the problems.

How did I come to that conclusion?  A comment she left on my stepdaughter's facebook about her going to a nice, Catholic college (away from the "damn sluts" at her current high school).  Hmmm...whose the "damn slut" in her view of her life?  SHE would technically be one of those "damn sluts" by her own view of her religion.  Now she can try to buy her religious image back by sending my stepdaughter to a Catholic college for $65K/year.  Hope that turns out well for her.

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Religious Hypocrites for Good Friday

I was raised Catholic though I don't consider myself Catholic anymore.  Too much  hypocrisy, my idea of "God" is quite different than one that would send souls to hell, their concept of "confession" just bugs the hell out of me, and priests...well, there's been enough in the news that I don't need to go further.  My childhood priest ran off with his secretary in his black Pontiac Firebird!  Wonderful values!!

The point of this blog post - I'm getting there now.  Sometimes I get off track.

Facebook can be a great source of irritation where it concerns my stepkids.  Now that their mother is finally on their facebook (after I contacted her twice about my stepson's obscene vile he posted online because she wasn't supervising him), she can be a third source of irritation and laughs.

My stepdaughter (you'll have to read previous posts over the last couple weeks about her and Facebook) posted the other day about damn sluts who need to get the hell out of her high school.  Her mother responded on her facebook about how she'll be with the nice Catholic girls at her college soon (that's the $65K/year college my stepdaughter is going to).

OMG, did I roll in laughter.  Her mother pretends to be a nice Catholic girl.  The fact that she's had two kids out of wedlock, her and my husband picked each other up in a bar, she's never been married and had another pregnancy with a different guy besides the two kids she had out of wedlock with hubby, she hasn't gone to church in at least a decade and she's mean as hell.  Just screams nice catholic girl, doesn't it?

Perhaps spending $65/K a year for college is a way to buy back into that mirage of being a nice Catholic girl stuff.  Sometimes, the ex can be frustrating, annoying, hateful and hate-inspiring, but this morning, she's giving me the giggles over the hypocrisy.  Wow did I bust out laughing when I read that post of hers -  the hypocrisy that is the ex!  My stepdaughter isn't innocent either and the ex well knows it.  That $65,000/year should go far for both of them I guess.

Maybe that's why she's been even more hateful to hubby the past 16 years (moreso than when he lived with her) - he ruined her fantasy of being a nice Catholic girl when he didn't marry her and fix her sins (hide them for her behind a marriage license).

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Whose religion do the kids practice?

When one parent is a different religion than the other parent, how do you decide which religion will be practiced by the children?

In our case, dad didn't disagree or raise a stink at all when the ex wanted to put the kids in parochial school or take them to her church even though it wasn't his religion. He left that up to her during her time since she acted ultra-religious (with two kids out of wedlock when the ultra-religious ex acted like the Virgin Mary, I found that a bit ironic but oh well). When she handed out first communion invitations, that was fine too. Her time, her choice as long as she didn't expect him to pay for the school or activities.  When we had my stepkids, he didn't take the kids to the ex's church on Sunday. The ex had to respect that as well.

It was too bad a family member of the ex's couldn't show a little respect. This person insulted my religious beliefs (not hubby's even though we share the same beliefs...she singled me out) and told my stepdaughter that I was going to hell because of them. Nice topic for a child.  If you are raising a child to believe in the fiery inferno of hell, you don't tell them somebody they love is going there (which means by extension so is their dad and siblings since we're all the same religion).

All these years later, the ex doesn't take the children to church anymore and parochial school didn't last long.  It seems the ex only felt strongly about her religion when her parents lived nearby and expected her to go.  When they moved a couple hours away, the ex stopped going to church.  Glad it was never a big deal like it can become in other families. It was a non-issue most of the time and a running joke at other times on the hypocrisy of some.

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State Stomps On Line Separating Them From Religion

Have you heard that South Carolina is putting to the test the "separation of church and state" with their religious license plates? I saw it on the news tonight and couldn't believe it. Doesn't anybody realize what those words mean? I posted about my opinion of it here.

The lines are being blurred, oh heck they are being downright stomped on and crossed, to be honest. In no way do I want the government being able to do this. Some people may just say, "well, it is only a license plate so what's the big deal?"

The big deal is, if you haven't noticed already, that if you start to let the government encroach where they don't belong, they keep doing it. If you allow them to blur the lines, they will eventually cross over them more often. Before you know it, they are treading on the rights of its citizens who put them in office to begin with.

I BELIEVE IN THE SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE

The government sticks its nose where it doesn't belong often enough as it is. They need to stay out of the religious arena. Their own personal religious beliefs are fine - for themselves and their families - not the state they govern or the nation they represent.

No matter what your religious beliefs, this should worry people.

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