Keep Adult SD on Insurance?

>> Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Our medical insurance has a fund maximum and once you meet that, you have to pay 100% up to a certain amount. My daughter was in the ER for second degree burns not too long ago to her hand and that entire visit will now come out of our pocket. Ack.

Now if my adult stepdaughter was not on our insurance as her secondary provider (her mother's insurance is primary), we would not have a huge medical bill for this ER visit heading our way right now for our minor daughter. We will be paying this bill off for at least the next year or two! My adult stepdaughter used up a chunk of our fund on her psychiatrist appointments her dad has no say in and that she doesn't need when she is here...she apparently needs them when she lives with her mother. Pfft...should tell her something.

This irritates me. The adult child who disses her dad and thinks he doesn't do enough to financially support her adult self has no friggen clue what she still costs us as an adult while she gripes about us not paying to support her (get an actual job comes to mind).

We have no court order for her anymore so I don't think she has to be on our insurance? It is our choice, right? She does have coverage with her mother.


Freaky Friday

>> Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Look up in the sky!  Do you see pigs flying?

Now look down below.  Did hell freeze over?

Huh, not sure but I think last Friday was Freaky Friday or something. My adult sd called her littlest sister to wish her a happy birthday last week (no word from ss but that's the norm).  That hasn't happened in like...all my little darling's seven little years. Hubby sounded a bit surprised when he answered the phone (if that tells you how often she calls here...N-EVER!).

Now, her other two sisters' birthdays were within the last few months and she didn't call either one of them.  She doesn't call her dad on his birthday or Father's Day either. Must have just been one of those freaky things.

Cue the music for...

Yeah for my littlest one but not so yeah for my other two daughters who didn't get that phone call from their sister.  I doubt my son will get his phone call next month but I'll betcha damn straight that we will get a birthday list for my ss's birthday this summer!


Stab, Stab, Stab Goes SD

>> Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My adult stepdaughter...where to start...  I am left to wonder if she has purposeful amnesia or she has just blocked out most her childhood. I am also left to wonder how much of her most recent drivel was a stab at her father (who doesn't even get a "hi" from them on Father's Day). Then again, maybe she is just thoughtless and rude.  Hell, could be any of them!

Apparently, the ex raised two kids "all on her own" (stab) - oh really?  Dad didn't spend almost half his time with them when we lived two blocks away, raising them, providing for them?  Dad didn't spend 10+ hours every other weekend, his only weekends off, for six years, in the car so he could spend the weekend with them? Dad played no part whatsoever in raising them - feeding, dressing, attending school events/conferences, loving them, reading to them, playing with them, bedtime routines, maintaining contact with their schools/teachers, etc?  Dad didn't drive to their state to take his son to therapy because of his mother's behavior? Dad didn't pay his child support on time, every week, whether he was working or laid off for the past 17 years and provide for them at his own place with holidays, birthdays, clothes and complete bedrooms on top of it?  Dad didn't spend the last 17 years putting up with their vindictive mother who did everything she could to turn the kids against him and interfere in his time with his kids while never saying one bad word against her in front of them?  Dad didn't spend his parenting time trying to overcome the lies and interference they received while they were not with him?  Dad didn't spend his parenting time holding his crying firstborn because she didn't want to leave him or me?  The answers to all of those questions - he most certainly did and shame on them for disregarding everything he has done for them and his love for them.  They've lost so much and have no idea.

My sd also said they've been able to do whatever they want growing up and it is all thanks to her mother (stab)...yeah, dad had nothing to do with providing the money so they could do whatever they wanted and become spoiled with no sense of responsibility or apparently, conscience, because the ex's part in raising them included no boundaries or rules - just do and buy whatever they want no matter the behavior, the grades, etc.  Bad us for having rules. I thought behaving civilly so people didn't look at us funny in public and walk away shaking their heads was a good idea, instilling manners (no, shoving your entire hand into your mouth to shovel food into your face is not appropriate and neither is sticking your feet on the table at dinner), or not allowing the violent attacks towards siblings (no, it is not ok to sit on your smaller sister and punch the crap out of her and not stop until you are pulled off or kick your baby sibling in the head or try to jump on her face with both feet, or push a baby into the door so she has to go to the ER to check for skull fracture) were good and fair rules?  Silly me.

SD also mentioned how her mother is putting her through college and she'll find a way to put ss through it (stab)- hmmm, at 65K a year tuition, the ex is putting her through college? Pfft...doubt it (makes me wonder, yet again, on the paternity of one of my husband's kids and just who really is paying a lot of this stuff).  However, if she is willing to take on your student loans and make those payments the rest of her life so you still don't have to get a real job and work to pay even a penny for your college, car, clothes, gas, entertainment, birth control, etc. etc. etc., (and you are ok with holding your hand out to your mom all the time for money as an adult, really?), then congratulations on being self-centered and spoiled.

We have the documentation proving just how much their dad fought to maintain a relationship with them. They're not ready to remember. With mommy paying for whatever they want (funny how they overlook that dad has paid child support all along and is still paying), why would they want to ruin that? Maybe if they actually said something that was true, they'd draw more blood...but wait, they don't have anything. Dad did nothing but love them, care for them, and provide for them their entire lives.  Shame on them for pushing that love away and forgetting about it. Shame on them for doing the same thing to their younger siblings.


What A Great Mother's Day

>> Monday, May 14, 2012

I hope everybody had an enjoyable Mother's Day! I had such a good day.

My husband took a day off from work so his sleep/work schedule wouldn't mess up Mother's Day too badly so I was able to wake up with him in the morning - yeah! Then, two of our kids brought me breakfast in bed.  They're so sweet. Then my husband and I went for a bike ride (as in bicycle, not motorcycle) for a little while (he is trying to get me to exercise for my health while I am adamantly opposed to sweating) but we had a really good time.  We spent the entire ride chatting about was nice. Of course, there were lots of presents - school-made presents from my two youngest girls, homemade cards from the kids, a card from my hubby (Happy Mother's Day, Ho...and no, I don't take that as an insult...we make up goofy nicknames for each other all the time and after 16 years of marriage, I'm proud of the fact that our sex life is still "ho" material, lol), a Yankee Candle present from my oldest and then a new camera! Then whatever I wanted for dinner.  It was a great day.

It was actually several hours into my day before I thought of my stepkids and how they'd ignore it (they did). That's been the "norm" the last few years so no big surprise there. I am no longer the woman they consider a mother figure despite their childhood spent loving and caring for them.  However, with all the crap from my sd the past couple of years, I am ok about that.  My tears dried up several years ago over that relationship loss with them. My heart is unbroken (fail for the ex).  Maybe my adult sd will mature eventually and remember but in the meantime, their behavior doesn't mess up my day or my time spent with my family.  My kids were wonderful, and my husband was so great I wanted to jump him all day long.  I am truly very lucky to be so blessed with our wonderful, loving four kids and a husband who loves all of us so much. I am very proud of the family my husband and I created together. We did good!


Don't Want to Grow Up

>> Tuesday, April 3, 2012

My six-year-old, who insists she isn't too big for her Barbie Jeep she fit in when she was three-years-old, wants a new battery charger for her Jeep for her birthday next month. Spend $40 for a battery for a car charger that will probably be set out by the road for somebody to come by and pick it up for a child smaller than she is?  Those stupid cars need a universal battery charger - a one-size fits all kind of thing and I think they'd come down in price.

Actually, all electronics need this! Imagine having one charger for all the different cell phones, the Nintendo DSI, the PSP's, etc. that kids have nowadays. That would be cool!


Surgery for Me?

I had a three week check-up today for some in-office slice 'n dice I had at the doctor three weeks ago.  It didn't heal properly and now they want to do one to two more involved surgeries at the hospital in three weeks...pfft.  My family and their darn genetic digestive/gastro issues!

I asked the doctor what the worst was that could happen if I didn't do the surgery.  He mentioned that I wouldn't want to go 20-30 years like this and then went into what would likely happen - another infection, things bursting, yada yada yada.  I told him I was only planning on living another 30 years so maybe it's not so bad - no need for the funeral checklist just yet but I really do not want surgery.  I made a follow-up appointment with him in three months and will get a second opinion in the interim and also look into natural options.  For a slice 'n dice with anesthetic, I want to be sure it is the right choice before I commit.


Waiting on a Stroke?

>> Monday, March 19, 2012

My mother was taken into the emergency room today.  They've ruled out a heart attack and are now doing x-rays and CT scans to check for stroke due to the stroke symptoms.

My mother is being her normal ornery self - lying to the doctors about her symptoms (she doesn't like/trust doctors so she isn't claiming to have any symptoms), refusing to be put on medication (she doesn't like prescription medications), and is insisting somebody bring her a radio so she can listen to Rush Limbaugh (she doesn't like Obama obviously) - in the emergency room!

I asked my oldest sis to see about getting power of attorney in case my mother can't, or won't, make appropriate health care decisions for herself. My sis is looking into it. She used to have one (when my parents went thru mom didn't want my dad making medical decisions for her in the middle of their nasty divorce) but it has expired.

I am in another state so I sit and wait for test results.  Waiting is the hardest thing. It feels pretty damn helpless to sit here and wait while my siblings rush to the hospital and hope that she doesn't have a large stroke at the hospital. From the way my mother is acting, and how worked up she gets over President Obama, it's a possibility.  I hope nobody brings her a radio so she can listen to Rush and get herself riled up.

One of my sisters said our mom seems to be doing better (symptoms improved) but my sister is doing a big OMG over her behavior in the hospital.  I am literally getting texts from my little sister with "omggggggggggg".

I sit.  I wait.  While I make a list in my head of things to pack and wonder what to do about my four kids - take them or leave them with a friend...ack.


Pepsi Uses Aborted Fetal Remains

>> Friday, March 9, 2012

This is just gross:

Obama Agency Rules PepsiCo Cannibalizing Aborted Fetus is ‘Ordinary Business’

Pepsi has been my addiction for several years now.  Not anymore.  


High Efficiency Pain In the Backside

>> Thursday, March 8, 2012

Our front loader high efficiency washing machine is driving me UP THE WALL! I thought this was supposed to be the best technology, best wash, best new invention! Pfft!

It's the best way to get a sore back leaning over that far putting a load of laundry in and taking a load out.

It's an aggravating way to not be able to find the type of laundry detergent (look for the tiny "he" on the bottle) you need when others go on sale (so when I do find them on sale, I grab several HE detergents and stock up).

It's the best way to get so frustrated when it breaks and you don't know what to do with this piece if new technology.

Right now, my laundry is all coming out soaking wet - dripping water all over the place.  It's not going through that final fast spin cycle that spins all the water out of the clothes! Totally skips it.

A friend says to check the gasket. Gaskets? You mean that gross thing around the door that gets everything and its mother caught in it? OK, did that. Didn't help.

Check the drain to see if something is stuck in it.  OK, where's the drain?  I look inside the washing machine...don't see a drain.  Ohhhh, it's under it.  Well how the heck do I get to it?  I can't figure out how to get that bottom panel off. Can't check that yet until I figure that out.

Maybe the drum is broke?  Ohhhh, you mean the thingy that spins around inside.  I learned something new.  That "thingy" is a drum.  (I am obviously not Bob Vila...or even Tim "The Toolman" Taylor.)

My washing machine has been giving me sopping wet clothes for three weeks now because I can't figure this thing out, hubby is working all the time (and realistically, he's as bad as I am when it comes to fixing anything), and it's too expensive to call a repairman in right now. It takes three drying cycles to get everything dry.  Not so "high efficiency" now are ya?  


Stepkid Birthdays

>> Saturday, February 25, 2012

My stepson turns 17 this year.  Then it will be one more year of having a legal relationship with the ex!  Yeah for us.

I'm sure he'll be asking for something music-related for his birthday (he's like his dad in that regard).  Usually, he picks uber expensive gifts. Maybe we can nip that request in the bud and find him an appropriately priced mixer before he sends us his gift list and head off the frustration those requests bring.

I have a love/hate thing going with my stepchildren's birthdays.  On one hand, I LOVE them because it means one less year of having a legal relationship with the ex.  On the other hand, I don't like holidays gift buying for my stepkids anymore.  Their gift requests are always SO huge.  Maybe that's ok with their mom (she always did go big at holidays for them so it's really expected anymore) but that's hard for us.  I think we'll jump start the gift buying ideas ahead of time and find him a nice mixer for his recording without breaking the bank.


I Deserve Flowers

Seattle, Washington Stepmoms:

When dad messes up, give him this link for incredibley priced Seattle Flowers to make up for his faux pas.  I'd go for something like these in the picture above.  It'd be $40 well-spent!

My husband gave up asking me for pictures of the dog that tried to bite me for his daughter.  At least, I haven't heard a word about it in several days.  Maybe he figured with one child with the flu and another with pneumonia, finding pictures for his adult child was not going to happen.  Maybe he figured if he kept pushing, he'd be investing in some flowers for me to apologize.  Maybe he figured out that I just don't care to help my SD tattoo a picture of a dog on herself that tried to bite me (the dog, not the SD...SS would've been the stepchild I'd worry about getting a bite from).

Actually, with the lack of sleep over taking care of sick children this week, I think he should buy me flowers anyway! He actually thought sweeping the living room and carrying a laundry basket to the laundry room was "cleaning the house" yesterday...perhaps he should take care of a vomiting child and another hacking child for several days before he brags about his awesome house cleaning skills while actually DOING the laundry, and dishes, and cleaning bathroom sinks, toilets and tubs?

Yeah, I think I should expect some flowers from hubby soon!


The Almost Vacation

>> Friday, February 24, 2012

The two new (expensive) tires I put on our SUV 1-1/2 years ago have worn bald on the insides - you can see the belt!  As I drive behind my husband to take the truck to be dropped off and fixed, I sadly (and admittedly, angrily) think about the huge chunk of $$ that is going to come out of our vacation fund to pay for the new tires that shouldn't need to be replaced and whatever caused it (and if it's rods and joints that I just replaced 1-1/2 years ago at almost $500, I will fall over in a heap of tears).

We haven't been on vacation in eight years.  We were going to be ready to go in May this year.  Now?



Flu & Pneumonia

My house should have a bio-hazard sign out front!

My six-year-old has been out of school all week because of the flu and now, my teenager was diagnosed with pneumonia today.


Come on, spring!!!  Hurry up and get here!


What a Weekend!!!

>> Tuesday, February 21, 2012

What a weekend!

My freshman was asked to the junior/senior prom.  Car date?  That sure puts butterflies in my stomach!

My six-year-old has been spiking fevers all weekend!  She shot up to 104.8! I can handle the headaches, stomachaches, and vomiting she's been having but when a fever shoots that high - scary! I was able to get her fever down from that high spike so it wasn't an ER trip for her.  Poor thing. She is still pretty sick today but the fevers are within manageable range at least.  I heard that there is a virus going around the school.  There always is.  *sigh*  Now I wait to see if my other three children get the virus.

The dog pictures SD wants for her tattoo?  She's still asking her dad. DH asked me again over the weekend.  Seriously? With all the stuff going on at home that I am handling by myself because of dh's work schedule, what my disrespectful SD wants to tattoo on her body is the LAST thing on my list to do!

Definition of DISENGAGE:


  1. Detach, free, loosen, or separate (something).
  2. Detach oneself; get loose.
v. dis·en·gaged, dis·en·gag·ing, dis·en·gag·es. 1. To release from something that holds fast, connects, or entangles


SD Says Jump, Stepmom Doesn't Ask "How High?" - Bad Stepmom!

>> Sunday, February 19, 2012

My adult SD texted me earlier this week, asking for pictures of a dog we used to have 7-8 years ago.  I hear from my SD a couple times a year and it is only when she wants something or to insult me pretty damn publicly in front of family. Excuse me if I don't ask "how high" when expected to jump by SD (who seems to prefer I not exist the last few years) or a dog (that tried to rip into me with her big teeth). SD wants to tattoo a picture of this dog on herself. Just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!

I didn't jump right on that little request so she texted her dad a few days ago who then asked me to look for pictures of this dog and email them to his computer.  I didn't appreciate that either - why ask in a way that would make me think HE wanted them, like SD wasn't involved. I told hubby that SD had already asked me so HE knew I knew.  Hubby should know better.

He asked me again yesterday for them (SD must be getting impatient and since I don't give her a reaction...).  Nope, I told him I haven't had time to go through thousands of pictures (literally - I take hundreds of pics monthly and we owned this dog around 2004) between gymnastics, cheer, work, housecleaning, sleepovers, his 7-day work week leaving me basically single mom to our own four kids - two who are sick - and chauffeuring kids to sports and end of season winter sport parties/activities and their friends around the last few days...while sick myself.

I don't care to waste what little down time I can find for myself looking for pictures to send to somebody who couldn't care less about me so she can permanently ink a dog who tried to bite me on herself.

There are consequences to disrespectful behavior. I disengage from it.  That means when they want something from me - pfft. Disengaged!


Almost Down to One Year Left

>> Thursday, February 16, 2012

Spring is going to start to feel like it's ready to spring in about a month (though we've had such a mild winter anyway).  In a few months, we will be down to one year left before the legal relationship with the ex is completely done.  One year!!  Holy cow!! Can't wait for that one year mark.


DIY Floor Tile Project

I have a basement family room that needs flooring.  It's just a cement floor at the moment. I know I don't want carpeting because the dogs use the door in the basement to go in and out and that would just be a big mess.  Do I want to put a one-piece laminate down (that looks sort of like stone I am thinking) or would basement floor tiles be better? The floor tiles could be installed as a DIY project but a one piece laminate would definitely need installation.

These are the laminate, interlocking floor tiles (below).  It looks really nice.  Decisions, decisions...


Adult Bullying

>> Sunday, January 29, 2012

My daughter's cheer coach humiliated her in front of both high school cheer squads for something she didn't do on Friday night. This woman threw a big tantrum and shredded my kid, upset my daughter and several other cheerleaders who were consoling my daughter and shaking themselves.  The coach and I had it out Friday night after that.  I can't stand adults in authority who think they have the right to behave that way.  They don't. Adults employed by the school system should know better.


Guitar Playing Fool

>> Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I first saw my husband up on stage, playing guitar and singing.  16 years of marriage later, he sits across from me right now at the table playing one of several guitars in the house while I tinker on my laptop.  Every once in awhile, he'll look up at me and I'll stick my tongue out at him and go back to my tinkering and he'll go back to his strumming.  We might be a little weird. Maybe.


Love My Coupons

‎Couponing was a success this week.  At one store, this is what I walked out with:

4 boxes Cheerios, 2 boxes Cinnamon Toast Crunch, 4 Arizona Ice Teas, 2 Ester C Gummy vitamin bottles, 2 Cortaid hydrocortisone creams, 1 Flurry Protein Bar, 2 boxes Triaminic Cough and Cold Kids' meds, 1 12pk Cottonelle, 5 packages of kids hair accessories (elastics, 30 barrettes, bobby pins). 

After coupons = $20.96 out of pocket. 
Plus received $7 Register Rewards to spend next week:) 

A lot of people think if you coupon, you end up buying stuff you don't need and sometimes that is true - sometimes the deal is too good to pass up (like when they end up owing YOU money for buying something after all the coupons).  


Took SD Off Facebook (No "BOOM" Yet)

>> Tuesday, January 24, 2012

It's been about a week since I blocked my SD from my Facebook.  If the lack of explosion is any indication, she either hasn't noticed or didn't care.  I tend to think she hasn't noticed (out of sight, out of mind) and unless it affects her directly (as in she goes looking for a picture or something), she won't notice I'm gone.  To go from having that little girl's love as a child to this as an adult - wouldn't have "thunk it" possible if I'd been asked ten years ago.  Never.  I am not a betting person but I would've bet money on that.


Fake It to Get It Over With?

>> Sunday, January 22, 2012

Would you fake it to get some sleep?  I just read in the November issue of Redbook (just getting around to reading my stack of magazines) that 71% of women have faked it with their husbands. OMGosh - why?  Not even with our having six kids, and my being the one who got up at night with babies or sick children - his or ours, would I fake it to get the act over with to go to sleep.  If I felt I had to fake it with my husband, I wouldn't bother. That seems too dishonest to me in an act that is supposed to be special between two committed partners. Am I spoiled by a man who wouldn't dream of finishing before he knows I do?  I don't know.  That 71% shocked me.  I didn't realize it'd be so high.


Not an Extreme Couponer...but I'm pretty good...usually

>> Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I coupon.  Not to the extreme but I clip coupons, go to different stores in the area for the best deals, make sure I use the store's register rewards and extra bucks (like cash in coupon format for the next visit) and find good deals online with online coupon codes as well (I've got my eye out for gap coupons right now).  Until last week.

My oldest had a bad virus - she was sooooo sick.  I never made it out until today to shop.  I was so disappointed to see I'd lost $20 in register rewards that had expired - that's like throwing away a $20 bill!  Ugh.  Oh well. Can't do anything about it and it's not like I would've done anything different - I had a sick child to take care of. If I'd thought about it, I should've sent the hubby out to use them in the store on ginger ale and stuff for the sick one but my mind was on my sick teenager and doctor appointments and not couponing.  Brush it off.


My Daughter's Birthday and SD The Unexplainable

My daughter turned 15 yesterday.  We started celebrating this past weekend with cake, ice cream and presents and then will continue next weekend with her favorite restaurant birthday dinner.  Her boyfriend also took her out for dinner and presents.

Not a word from sd or ss to their sister on her birthday.  No birthday wishes in any way, shape or form - not text, not phone, not Facebook.  I'm not surprised.

SD did call over the weekend (she NEVER calls) and she kept calling three different cell phones (but not leaving messages) and sending texts (which she didn't answer back).  My daughter got her hopes up and thought her sister was trying to get hold of her for her birthday.  Nope.  She was being manic about wanting to know why her psychiatrist appointment hadn't been covered by our insurance - - it had been so not sure where she got the information that it hadn't.  Not sure why she suddenly got a bug up her behind over it to keep calling and texting about it either.  Like I said, she NEVER calls and to be manic about it - it was a bit unusual.

Oh well, I've given up trying to understand why she does the things she does or says the things she says.

One positive - at least it wasn't the ex contacting us about it.  It's about time sd started handling some things on her own!


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