In-Law Problems

>> Friday, May 14, 2010

I've been on facebook for well over a year and have many of my in-laws on my friend list and chat with some of them regularly.  The one person who has been on facebook who has never sent me a friend request is one of my husband's sisters.  I've met her twice in 15 years and she hated me the first time she walked through my door.  I wasn't the ex and you could tell when she walked in the door to meet me that she was not going to give me a chance at all.  She gave support to the ex when it should've been given to her brother, etc.  One of those situations.  She left a nasty message on our answering machine once for our kids to hear about me and how blood was thicker than water - like my husband would actually support HER over ME.  That tells me right there how much she knew her brother and our marriage - not at all.

Well, last night she sends me a facebook friend request.  Why?  I don't know.  I asked my husband and he said, "Maybe she likes you now."  I asked him how that would happen since I've only met her twice in 15 years, she has never liked me, so when would she get to know me to change her mind?  Twice in 15 years - that tells you how close he is to her as well doesn't it?

She's been acting to him like nothing has been wrong lately on facebook, leaving him messages on his wall and instant chatting with him, like there was never a wall between them for more than a decade.  He'll go along with pretending to hide that he wants little to do with her so he doesn't hurt his elderly parents (his mom in particular).  Is it so bad that I want him to call her out on her behavior, to tell her that her behavior was out of line?  I guess his silence all these years with her did that in a passive way...I'd like to see a little less passive and more in your face to get the point across that it's not tolerated.  I guess that's just me and not him though.

Now I have to figure out what to do with her friend request.  She doesn't like me but if I ignore it, she'll tell their mother and then it'll come back on me.  It always comes back on me because I'm the in-law with the bullseye on my butt.  If I accept it, I have to what?  Pretend she didn't leave nasty messages on our answering machine for my kids to hear about me, about her support of my husband's ex enabling her victim mentality for so many years?


Jennifer V. May 31, 2010 at 8:30 PM  

I would accept her friend request on facebook.. but I would put her on a limited profile setting on your profile settings. This will limit what she can see of your pix, walls, etc...
Then I would "hide" all her posts which you can do from your own wall. That way.. you are "Friends" but you don't have to see her junk and and she can't see any of your stuff. Thus pleasing the elderly inlaws! hope this helps!

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