Custody

Sharing physical custody of your children takes effort and sacrifice. It takes a lot of effort to set aside bitter feelings for an ex and arrange schedules to fit everybody's needs. It takes a great amount of integrity for a person to set aside feelings of anger and bitterness at an ex to work together with that child's other parent. However, it can be done; unfortunately, many ex's haven't reached that level and many never will. Getting back at the ex is sometimes the choice before the kids. Though you may feel like you are "getting back" at the other parent by turning your child's other parent into a "visitor" by refusing to allow them to spend adequate time with your child, the children always lose in these situations.

If parents can get along and work together, according to studies I have read (check the library and Internet...information is unlimited) and people we have talked to who do share physical custody, sharing physical custody of your children is going to give them what they need the most - - access to both of their much loved parents. It is going to give them a better chance at a brighter future. It is going to keep them surrounded by the love of ALL of their family. The parents we've talked to who share physical custody say their children are happier. Children in these situations also say they are happier.

For custodial parents, put yourself into the future. Your son is now 25 years old and is the father of an adorable baby boy/girl. He is the non-custodial father who is only "allowed" to see his child (your grandchild) four overnights a month and maybe 2-3 hours on a day once a week, this is assuming that the child's mother doesn't interfere in any of this time or deny your son his time with your grandchild. How does this make you feel? If our laws don't change, OUR CHILDREN will be living the lives we are living today, struggling to make ends meet, constantly in conflict with an ex, and fighting for every last minute of time with their child with a vindictive ex and a biased family court system more intent on ensuring money keeps coming into them (and job security) rather than the best interests of your child. Do we want people who have never met our children dictating to us what we will and will not do or can and can not do for our children? Don't we want our children to grow into happy adults and to have a life better than ours? Are we being good role models for this to happen?