Are You A Good Parent?
>> Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Do you try to co-parent with your child's other parent?
Kids today seem to "get" a lot more than we ever did as children. It's expected instead of a privilege in a lot of cases (which I happen to think is wrong - I've personally seen the result of this and it's not pretty). What a lot of kids don't seem to "get" is enough time with a parent and that is so very important!
- Do you think they'll remember the time you didn't let them see their dad?
- Do you think they'll remember that they had to hide their feelings for their other parent, step-parent, siblings, to spare your feelings?
- How about the time you bad mouthed their other parent?
- How about the tension in the air when their other parent came to pick them up?
- How about the dirty looks you threw their daddy's way or his new family's way?
Have you done any of this? What kind of memories are you giving your child? What kind of example are you setting? Are you providing them with an emotionally healthy environment? What are you teaching them about love, forgiveness, moving on and living life fully and happily?
These kinds of things can wound a child deeply and leave a lasting, unpleasant memory. Don't do this to your child.
If you want to give your child something important and lasting, I can guarantee you it isn't the best mp3 player on the market (though I'm sure they want that too). It's their other parent. It's time, love, and a role model. It costs less than a mp3 player and will mean more to them for their entire lifetime.
6 comments:
These are wise words indeed - and like so many wise words, very hard to follow - but I can say from experience that it really is worth it! No matter how hard you try to do the right thing you will fail sometimes, but put that behind you and start again with your good intentions - when you forgive, you are forgiven.
Thanks for the post.
Camila
Right. Cos only Moms do these things. Dads NEVER badmouth Moms or make pu/do tense....
Squillion,
I never said that moms only do these things or that dads do not. There are times I write generically and there are times where I write according to my life experiences. Since I am coming from the point of view of the stepmom, that's the way I write.
Very well said! I would like to print it off and put it in the bag that goes back to "mom's" house for her to read.
I have been on the mom side and now the step-mom side of this. I have always done it. It's really hard to follow, but it's better for our children. My 17 year old is living proof.
Excellent post! I am very blessed that my parents are still married after almost 49 years of marriage. However, I have been divorced once, very early in my life after one child and I know how painful it was for her. Divorce IS very hard on everyone involved, especially the children, no matter how people like to twist it around and say that it isn’t. Thank you for addressing this very important issue.
I can honestly say me and my ex-husband have done very well respecting each other and our daughter. We both understand what happened between us is over and should in no way interfere with the parent-child relationship we each desire to have with her. Believe me the only person who gets hurt in this is the child. The other parent may be hurt but the child is the one who pays the price and it is not fair to them. If you truly love your children do not use them as pawns. I love this site! Thanks for the wonderful words of advice and wisdom!
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