Friend the Ex on Facebook?

>> Saturday, June 6, 2009

The ex just came up on my suggested list of "people I may know" on Facebook to friend. Yeah, right. I'm not sure how because we don't share any friends for that to happen. Perhaps a family member of my husband has friended her. I don't know. After the history with her, I'd never give her access to my family's information, photos, videos, etc.

When she was invited into my husband's family's yahoo group, my husband told me to stop posting there because our stuff wasn't any of her business. She was invited because of the kids (the kids have their own yahoo email addresses and could be invited personally themselves...it's not like she's posting for them). Her involvement with his family has put a bit of distance in relationships sadly. When you can't talk about problems in your life with your own family, where does that leave you?

Can you imagine after 14 years of bad relations, if we friended each other? If she's not over her victim role yet, it's never going to happen.

In the beginning, when I wore rose-colored glasses, I thought eventually we would all get along. She broke the glasses...stomped on them good.

Is the ex on your Facebook or MySpace? Why or why not?

6 comments:

Monica June 7, 2009 at 10:30 PM  

Yes, my hubby's 2nd ex wife is on Facebook. We all try to get along for the sake of my step-son & most of the time, it's not too difficult. Funny thing, my hubby & I were he first friends on FB. He even took the opp to make the first post on her FB page and mention how highly unusual it is that her ex-hubby & current wife are her first friends.

Syn June 7, 2009 at 11:16 PM  

That's great that you have a civil relationship with her most of the time. I wish it was like that here. Can't force somebody to be civil. It sure would've been a lot better for the kids.

I think it's great when two homes make such an effort to get along for the kids!

Anonymous June 8, 2009 at 8:50 AM  

I used to have a myspace page, but the ex would take my profile pics off of my page and 'edit' them... she would send me messages through there even though it was private... I ended up deleting the whole profile it just wasn't worth all the drama it created.

I have a facebook page now and I know she is on there, but I have her blocked so even if we did have mutual 'friends' anything that I write, she wouldn't be able to see and vice versa.

Sadly at our house it has to be the bare minnimum for information only about SS or it gets too nasty. :(

Syn June 9, 2009 at 1:26 PM  

Anon, we're in the same boat here. We only do the bare minimum with information. She made it clear years ago that she had no intention of having a friendly or civil relationship with our family so we do what we have to and no more. It's a shame it has to be that way but we can't change other people.

Smirking Cat June 9, 2009 at 2:42 PM  

The ex comes up on my facebook page occasionally because she lists her city as my city even though she doesn't live here (she lives over an hour away). I just ignore it. I am not the one who created the hostility and am not the one who can fix it.

Syn June 9, 2009 at 3:06 PM  

Hmmm...I don't know if I can see the ex's city. I haven't looked. We're in totally different states so I hope she's not using the same:)

You're right - you didn't create the hostility so it's up to her to fix it.

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