Engagements, Wedding Rings, and Conflict
>> Saturday, June 20, 2009
When you agree to marry a man with an ex you share children with, you don't know what the future holds. When I said "yes" to my husband's marriage proposal finally, we happily shopped for wedding rings.
I found the ring I wanted in Ohio (coincidentally, the state we didn't live in) easily enough. We looked through a lot of rings while looking at mens wedding rings for my husband. My husband was picky about choosing his wedding band.
Word got back to the ex quickly that we were engaged. Apparently she knew somebody who worked at the grocery store where we shopped who told her I was wearing a ring. The ex, in turn, called my husband's parents (why, I don't know). The words used was that I was wearing a ring with "a rock the size of Texas." At least I don't need to worry about a tell-all book like Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez did when Marc Anthony's ex-wife wrote a book about her divorce (rumored that he left her so he could marry J. Lo). A phone call to the in-laws seems relatively minor in comparison eh?
How was your engagement news relayed to the ex? Did it cause conflict or was it met with surprising decency?
2 comments:
Not sure if the Ex was ever completely told that we were engaged, I am sure she knew. Towards the date we were going to be married she just kept leaving insane messages about how she NEEDED to know all about me, and that it was just the right thing to do to have us meet. Looking back I can see her point BUT it was a really bad time in the custody stuff. Things were not civil at all, and in all honesty she would have been one of those people that once I went there to meet her, she probably would have hit me or something trashy like that.
My husband and her were never more than a couple of dates, and BAM she's pregnant, so we really didn't feel it that necessary. I know thats not completely right since she is SS's mom, but it worked out. After we were married, I wrote her an email explaining that I do love her son and that he is well taken care of here (something she always complained about) and we were 'friends' for about a month. When she started to realize that she couldn't just do whatever she wanted and that I would just be ok with it, I was again the Evil person. At least I can say I tried, sadly it just isn't worth the effort with her. I hope that SS will see someday that we 'all' did try, but this is as good as it gets.
I was hit while I was nine months pregnant while at my stepdaughter's dance recital - punched in the lower back...coincidentally right when the ex's sister walked by. There were no cameras to catch it or else I'd have had her arrested.
My husband didn't find it necessary to inform his ex-girlfriend either. Like you, they'd only dated a few times before she got knocked up. They weren't even dating anymore when she contacted him to tell him she was pregnant. He moved in to try to make it work for the child...obviously it didn't. He was miserable. Can't blame him after getting to know her myself:) She's something else.
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