What Stepmothers Can't Say

For all the things we do for children that aren't ours - chauffeuring, cooking, cleaning, bathing, laundering, etc. (really, the list is neverending)...we deserve a crown. When you add an ex who refuses to co-parent, or even be civil unless it makes her look good into the mix, I think I want Diamond necklaces too!

Seriously though, I found this article printed online at CNN of an article that appeared in Oprah's O Magazine about things you should never say as a stepmother. One point in it says not to say this:

• #10 "What's the matter, never heard of thank you?"
  Don't become a stepparent expecting gratitude. (Don't become a parent expecting it, either.) While you shouldn't tolerate rudeness, choose your battles carefully. Kids generally don't have the best manners; they get preoccupied and forego social niceties. Don't be petulant; you're the grown-up.

I don't think it's about wanting gratitude. I think it's about expecting respect. I expect it of any child who comes into my home whether it is my own child, my children's friends, or my stepchildren. My stepkids don't get a free pass on manners because their parents divorced. I may not say it in exactly that same way but the point would be made.

If you don't have expectations for children, why should they have expectations for themselves?