Time to Schedule Summer Parenting Time
>> Tuesday, June 2, 2009
It's that time of the year again. Time to deal with the ex to schedule summer parenting time with my stepkids. Oh the joy...oh the pain! Just the thought alone is enough to make my gut hurt (pass the Colonix please)...not the thought of my stepkids coming here but having to "negotiate" with the ex.
In my opinion, there shouldn't be any negotiating. There is a court order and I think hubby should insist on the time in the order. Period. He won't though because the ex will get bent out of shape over not having the kids there to wrap her entire world around and then get the kids involved.
Two years left to deal with the ex for my stepdaughter...four for my stepson...we've made it 3/4 of the way already. I can do this for another four years.
4 comments:
I can sort of understand your husband's reluctance to deal with his ex's "getting bent out of shape", but I have always seen this like a spoiled brat pitching a fit in the middle of the store: give in to it once, and it will be even worse next time. For the record, if it is court ordered, there is not much she can do to alter it and not be in contempt.
I'd like to not have her as a part of our life too but that's not going to happen. It IS easier if he gives her what she wants but the kids lose out in terms of their relationship with their dad (though it is easier for them at their mom's if she's not being passive-aggressive towards them as punishment) and dh loses out in terms of the depth of his relationship with his kids.
That's exactly it too. If you give her an inch, she'll clobber you over the head for a mile. Personally, I'd shove that court order right up her...nose and make her follow it. I'd take my 4-5 weeks and make her deal with it and wouldn't care if she was crying everyday of those dang weeks because she expects him to go without his kids for her. You'd think they were babies instead of teens the way she acts. He'll probably take one or two weeks I bet. I never would have allowed her to have that much power over my relationship with my children. We fought a good fight successfully for a decade not to let her do this but in the long run, she got her way anyway because the fallout fell all over the kids.
Not my kids...not my kids...not my kids...not my kids.
We're going through the same thing. BM is giving my husband a hard time about when his two weeks of uninteruppted time will be. She tried to break into our house with a metal scooter to the window last summer because she didn't get the kids back early last year when she wanted them. I don't want to go through that again. She has no problem using the kids to make our lives hell. It makes me think she only cares about herself...but that can't be right, can it?
Unfortunately, that can be. If some of these ex's truly cared about their children more than themselves, we wouldn't have so many problems.
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