POLL: Will you buy a Christmas present for the ex?
>> Friday, November 13, 2009
A new poll has been posted. It involves the upcoming holiday season and spending money on the ex.
My poll question is:
Will you buy a Christmas present for the ex?
Check it out at the top of the right column. This poll closes December 1, 2009. If you don't vote in time, feel free to leave your vote in the comments to this post.
5 comments:
No. We give my SK's money and let them buy for everyone.
This is a hard one. For the last couple of years, I have bought a gift for the Ex (and her other 4 children) "from our SS", not from me personally. I have went as far as to make photo books with random pics of SS in it to jewelry for the Ex. I have never gotten a thank you from her OR her kids. This year I am not doing it. SS does a shopping thing at school now, so he can get her a gift that way. I have begun to feel that it is just expected and that I look like a fool for putting the time, effort, and $$ into it. My husband thought I was crazy for doing it every time, since we don't have the greatest relationship with the ex. This year, no question about it, I am not doing it for her or her kids.
I used to make things with my stepkids for their mother's birthday and christmas for the first several years. When things continued to be hostile with no give at all from her, I gave up. I figured the ex's sister or ex's parents could take care of that with the kids if it was important. Now that they're teenagers, it doesn't matter. They're responsible for whatever they do on their end. I really don't care whether they do or don't.
Even if I wanted to buy a gift for the ex I wouldn't ever be able to. There is to much drama for even a small gift exchange. Everything we do is looked at with alternative motive. Who wants that at the holidays. So the simple answer is no, but one day I would like to.
When trust is broken, it's hard to see true intent sometimes. I used to think "one day" things would be better but I'll be married 14 years next month...the relationship with the ex hasn't gotten any better. It's just a "barely there and very strained always one step away from conflict" tolerance until the kids are 18.
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