When do you stop blaming the ex?
>> Wednesday, September 29, 2010
When do you stop blaming the ex?
When is the unacceptable, hurtful, etc. behavior of a child, which has been the result of a parent's inappropriate behavior, no longer the parent's fault and instead is the responsibility of the child?
After all, we can't blame our parents forever.
2 comments:
I often wonder this myself. I think it's whenever you determine they're old enough to "know better". 9, 13, 15, 18...depends on the kid and the maturity level. But I agree, at some point when they know what's hurtful from what's not hurtful it's their problem, not the other parent. And it depends on the situation....how complex is what they're doing. If it's a simple right from wrong thing, then they should understand what's appropriate at a much younger age. If it's more complex then maybe they need to be a little older to take the blame/responsibility....
That is where I am at right now - yes, the kids are behaving the way they are because of the position the ex placed them in, HOWEVER, they are 15 and 17 (sophomore and senior). They are definitely old enough to know right from wrong. They are old enough to know when a behavior will hurt another person. When that behavior hurts one of my kids, it really bothers me.
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