Same Old Summer Parenting Time Problems

>> Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Well, summer time is here.  Legally, it's the time when hubby is supposed to get what amounts to about a month of parenting time with his children.  My stepdaughter texted her dad asking when they were coming here but then she asked how far a certain city was from us that a band she likes is in concert so we weren't sure if she was asking because she wanted to see us or see the concert.

Anyway, we got their summer schedules from the ex.  Between band stuff (ensembles, jazz, marching, etc.), the ex's vacation with them, and grad. parties (sd's friends that have graduated...she doesn't graduate for another year), there is not ONE FRIGGEN WEEK free for them to spend here, this last summer before my stepdaughter graduates and goes onto college.  Seriously, who schedules this tight months in advance?  Oh wait, the ex does every year because she knows it's dad's parenting time!  She wants the money but she doesn't want the relationship between parent/children...go figure.

I guess the one day we are driving to their state in July is going to be all they are going to see of their dad again because they're so over-friggen-scheduled - AGAIN (being over-scheduled has been a common theme from the time they were about three years old...seriously).  If you'll remember, that one day when we will be in their state and wanted to see the kids that day was even agreed to with a bit of "tude" because there was another grad party that day as well. 

So, if hubby requests even one quarter of his court ordered time, they'll have to forego several different scheduled activities and that is always an issue.

I'm so tired of this crap.

One year left for my stepdaughter.  Three for my stepson.  I hope the next three years go by fast.

If it were up to me, I'd request my court ordered month and let the ex scramble with her darn tight-a$$ schedules!


Anonymous June 16, 2010 at 8:29 AM  

I agree, if it is allowed through the court system, I would get them. Who cares if the Ex has scheduled everything under the sun? they have a right to see their 'other family' as well. I think if we allowed the Ex to do as she wanted as well, we would never see the SS unless she desperately needed a sitter. Its hard because your skids are older, but maybe if you guys would have done it from the beginning instead of just letting her plan whatever she wanted it wouldn't still be such an issue today. Its sad because SD finally called you guys to find out when she was going to be able to come :(

Syn June 16, 2010 at 9:22 AM  

That's the thing. For the first ten years or so, we did insist on the court ordered time. It was a constant fight almost daily with the ex on every minute we had with the kids for years. Plenty of times it became a court issue to force her compliance. She cried whenever the kids left her and made them feel guilty for every phone call they took from us, etc. It got to the point to where they wouldn't return phone calls or answer the phone because they said their mom would mad and stop playing with them. Huge emotional manipulation. SD became very emotional leaving her mother because her mother cried as they drove away and then she'd cling to us and cry and not want to go back to her mom's; my stepson's reaction was to become violent towards my kids to make his mother happy. All that violence created chaos in our house every weekend while the ex encouraged the bad behavior, my kids were getting hurt. Having to take one of my kids to their doctor or to the emergency room while the ex encouraged that crap seriously ticked me off. I have had the ex on my front porch crying and clinging to the kids, kids saying their mom was crying at home without them, kids watching their mom out the back window as dad drove away with them as the ex stood at the end of the driveway and cried because the kids were going to dad's. It was never emotionally healthy for them at all. They were told, to scare them about coming over, that we had serial killer ghosts in our house (totally crazy crap!). They both went thru counseling several times, each time with the therapist saying the ex was the problem but the court did nothing more than tell mom to not be outside when dad came to pick them up (the ex followed their instructions once and then continued to stand outside and cry). The court didn't do a darn thing about what she said/did to them or the alienation tactics. I was assaulted while I was pregnant. The family court said it was a police matter and the police said it was a family court matter. She needed to be drugged up and selling herself before the court would switch custody to dad...hard to prove emotional abuse or alienation.

The ex wouldn't stop, the courts wouldn't do anything because she was irritating.

The emotional upheaval was too hard on the kids and the ex wasn't going to stop. He said the ex wasn't going to leave the kids alone so he gave up time with them. I think it's all a bunch of BS that a good parent gives up time and the emotionally unstable one gets what she wants. He was right on one point...the ex settled down once she got her way and stopped putting the kids thru the emotional wringer but I still had/have a problem with it. I wanted to nail her butt to the courthouse wall each and every time.

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