No Contact With Stepkids Unless BM Controls It
>> Monday, February 16, 2009
Phone calls rarely get answered and take forever to get a return call back, if they even return the call! They don't respond to letters or to the questions asking them if they received them.
My stepkids aren't allowed to accept our friend requests for our private Myspace pages. Every single one of them is refused. When we ask them why, they lie (badly). There were times when their mother would use my stepdaughter's email address and respond "why" pretending to be my stepdaughter. I know my stepdaughter - she uses IM speak all the time. There isn't one sentence that doesn't include some IM language. You could tell this email was written from an adult and it was written at a time when my stepdaughter was in school. How pathetic is that!?! They can't go onto our private Facebook page either.
So, we set up a private forum that you have to log-in to and get approved for before you can enter. We figured it'd be a safe place online to chat with them about stuff since their Myspace pages were off limits to us. Nobody else online would have access so there were no worries about cyber-weirdos. They aren't allowed into there either.
The web site we made for them is still being ignored. They won't even click on the link! I will continue to update it over the next four years until they are both 18. We left them an entry in their guestbook and added a Valentine greetings page too just this past week. We will update it for every holiday and whenever else we want to update it. Maybe when they are out from under their mother, they'll finally see it.
I think I know why the ex is refusing to allow them to participate with us on anything. I believe it is because the ex would not have open access to it (without logging in as her kids to snoop) and if she can't "control" what the stepkids say to us, or how much we talk to them, she won't allow it. She wouldn't be on our myspace or facebook pages so she would have no control over pictures we show the kids, messages we have from them or send to them, etc. It's all about control to her.
4 comments:
I can't stand the juvenile interference with the kids' contact with the other parent. And OMG, I thought I knew the only person rude enough to send an email posing as one of the kids! It would be funny if it wasn't so disgusting.
No, we have one of them ex's here too. It's so pathetic. She lied out her butt in the email too...the myspace is private, only for friends, blah, blah, blah. All this from the bm, pretending to be my sd. All the while the bm was on sd's myspace friend list with a fake picture, name, state, and age (like we were stupid and wouldn't figure it out that "Amy" was really somebody else). The ex used her regular email address for her myspace log-in so she was easily searchable. Her IQ is just astounding, lol.
I think that is an awesome idea. Truthfully, you have no idea what she is telling them. My stepdad had twins with his exwife and she hardly ever let him see them (I was 11 when he and my mom got together). Now, I can honestly say I understand why because my stepdad was an alcoholic, but as the person who was there when he did get to see his kids, he never drank when they were around and was always very good with them, so I felt like he should have gotten to see them. By the time they were old enough to do what they wanted, they were so detached from him (she also had them calling her husband daddy from the time they were 4) that he saw them maybe once a year if that. He died a few years ago and they never really had a relationship, even though he desperately wanted one. He sent them presents every year on their birthday and Xmas until he died. Maybe if they had been able to see a log of his thoughts when they reached their 20's (they were around 24 when he died) the outcome might have been different.
That's what I am worried about...that they will be so detached to us by the time they are out from underneath their mother that it isn't going to matter. I picked up another card for all our kids and us to sign and mail to them in a week or so. They still aren't answering if they received the last card, letter, or pictures:( They didn't open their v-Day e-card either. I don't know if they deleted it or their mother did before they could see the link.
We are going to continue to update their web site with lots of love and greetings. Maybe one day they will acknowledge it. I at least hope, on some level, they know that what their mother has done is wrong and they'll stop being so distant with us.
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