SD Health Problems

>> Tuesday, February 2, 2010

There are some health problems going on right now with my stepdaughter.  The docs are doing tests to find out what the diagnosis is - Reynaud's Syndrome, mitral valve prolape, stress, etc.  She has had some chest pains and she's lost about 20 pounds (and she was already too thin to begin with).  The chest pains may be anxiety and not her valve - the sounds the doc heard in the stethoscope is also common in very thin people.  She's getting a heart test this week and was referred to therapy (psychiatrist I think).  This will be the kids' 4th or 5th therapist between them I think since she was four.  The diagnosis is always the same - her mother!  Maybe this time it'll be different.  Yeah, sure.  We are too far away to participate this time so maybe her mother will be able to fake her way through this therapist this time.

I am not surprised about the stress.  She's been taught to fear everything and she's always been a worrier.  She also pushes herself for perfect grades in her honors classes. 

I asked hubby about the possibility of an eating disorder with the weight but he said she claims she's eating (she claims she is eating more now than even before because she was a vegetarian for the last couple years but she's been forcing herself to eat chicken to help with weight but it's not helping).  People with eating disorders do claim they are eating so who knows if what she is saying is true.  She admitted to only eating one meal a day (dinner) previously but says she has been eating lately and still dropping weight.  I asked hubby if the ex didn't notice she was never having to pay for the kid's school lunch or make the girl breakfast?  Apparently the ex doesn't notice much.  Assuming what sd is saying is true and she's been eating and still dropping weight, it could also be a thyroid problem with unexplained weight loss and anxiety. 

I'd get some basic blood work done first while waiting for the heart appointment, including a full thyroid panel done, if it were my child to rule that out but she's not my kid.  SD said her mother wants the heart test done first to see what that says before they do any other tests.  Not sure what mitral valve prolapse, which is usually nothing to worry about or treat, has to do with a 20 pound weight loss but what do I know?  Go for the most expensive test first and rule out doing any other simple tests in the meantime. Makes sense to me!

I think hubby is going to let the ex handle this the way she wants to.  Burns me up a bit because if it was one of "our" kids, he'd have input.  I'd expect him to have input.  He mentioned the thyroid during his discussion with sd (he's lived with my thyroid disease for 8-1/2 years now - we both are familiar with it).  SD told her mom but sd came back and said her mom won't do that yet.  Ex doesn't want to consider a simple blood test for it.  Probably because I have it so she's just not going there. 

Hubby said he wished she would come live with us.  Never going to happen.  Wishing things were different doesn't mean a whole helluva lot.  If she'd been living with us, all those therapists we paid for wouldn't have been necessary to begin with and she wouldn't be afraid of everything and needing ANOTHER therapist now.

A couple months ago, she was having stomach pains and her breasts felt lumpy (it was nothing just like I thought though they - sd and ex - worried frantically over it).  She was on her period for god's sake!  One ultrasound later, yup, nothing. So glad for insurance!  They couldn't wait for the period to be over with to see if the stomach pains and changes in the breast were related.  Had to freak out. Sounds like it's a freak out again over this. 

I hope that there is nothing seriously wrong with sd.  I really and truly do.  Despite the ex and sd's treatment of us the past few years, I love that girl.  We will obviously pay for anything that the sd needs to be healthy just like we would for any of our children.  I just wish they (the ex, which makes it worse for sd) didn't jump to the worst conclusion right away and go automatically for big tests and not even consider doing anything else in the interim - looking at the more likely scenario.  Use common sense instead of a freak out.  Though the fact that we have to pay for another therapist because of crappy parenting just ticks me off.


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