Stepparents are Legal Strangers
>> Saturday, March 21, 2009
I'll bet that is one title you never thought of for yourself, huh?
According to Wikipedia, we, the step-parents, are legal strangers because we have no legal right to the minor child even if we are the step-child's "parent" in terms of love and responsibility.
This is taken from Wikipedia:
"The stepparent is a "legal stranger" in most of the US and has no legal right to the minor child no matter how involved in the child's life they are. The biological parents (and, where applicable, adoptive parents) hold that privilege and responsibility. So if the biological parent doesn't give up his or her parental rights and custodial to the child, a parent's subsequent marriage cannot create a stepparent relationship without the parent written consent before a "child" reaches adulthood. In most cases, the stepparent can not be ordered to pay child support."
I get that we have no legal rights. You can love that child like your own and take care of that child like your own, but you can lose that child without any legal recourse if you and their biological parent were to divorce. What a risk step-parents take with their hearts. A risk that many step-parents have taken and had their hearts broken either through divorce or by loss of the relationship due to other factors (ex: the ex's emotional manipulations). Besides, the family court will beat "no legal rights" over any step-parent's head repeatedly so I think we all know we have no legal rights.
I don't understand what they mean by "...marriage cannot create a stepparent relationship without the parent written consent..." Written consent by who? The biological parent you married or the same sex biological parent, AKA the ex?
3 comments:
I think stepparents, especially stepmoms, are threatening to our society's deeply held notions and sainthood of motherhood. We're not supposed to be able to care for a child like a mother, because we didn't give birth to that child. Legally recognizing stepparents' rights would cause a hell of a fuss. Never mind what is best for the kids though, right? It's like their love for a stepparent doesn't count in some way.
Sadly, Wikipedia's definition that stepparents are "legal strangers," is true. This fact can complicate the stepfamily. And it is important to know just what to do about that "legal stranger" status. The Stepfamily can integrate but most don't, as we know 2 out of 3 fail. It is important to get as much information as you possibly can in order for you not to become a statistics. For more information, do take a look at our website or contact us.
Jeannette Lofas, PhD
President and Founder
Stepfamily Foundation, Inc.
In a lot of situations it is beneficial to the child for the stepparent to have this restriction. My brother has an idiot for a wife, she is a deplorable mother to her own biological daughter and thinks because of marriage, she has total parental control. My niece is 6yrs old, is a smart, independent, strong little girl and her step mother has only been in her life for a year and is verbally abusive and actually throws anger tantrums like a child when she can't control my niece. Wish she was gone but my brother would rather not live live alone than stand up for his family and his daughter.
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