Daughter's Early Acceptance to College

My 17-year-old daughter (our oldest) did the "early application" to her first choice college and was accepted. She is THRILLED. She is ready to start her life she says. She and her boyfriend are both going to college for the same thing and both were accepted at the same college. She is ready to plan marriage (after college we hope) and all that goes along with it.  I wouldn't be surprised if she came home one day and said, "Mom, I found a wedding dj."

SCREECH!! (those are brakes)

We are trying not to be total downers but trying to be realistic as well. Yes, some high school relationships work and last. The majority? Not likely.  High school expectations are different than adult expectations. College opens you to a whole new world of experiences and people (and stress). Things can change. If he is "the one" for her then great...he'll still be the one when college is done, right?

Her boyfriend is actually great. If I were to choose a spouse for her (pfft, like parents get to do that), he would be a good choice, He treats her great. There just aren't a lot of boys like this anymore. HOWEVER, the degrees they're both going for is 7-8 years of college away. Let's wait 7-8 years for marriage, OK? Otherwise, I see him finishing with his degree and her giving up hers for married life. I actually don't think being a stay at home mom is a bad thing but she wants this med degree. She WANTS it. She needs to put the brakes on a bit the desire to "play house" and finish college if she wants that degree so badly. It could make the difference between a life of struggle or two parents with med degrees...hmmm...which one is better...let me think.

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Moving Prep

Tomorrow we look for flooring for our current home so we can get our house on the market. I can't wait!!

I have been planning what our new home will need for horses right down to the eye bolt in the barn and sand in the arena. For my horses, I have so much research to do! Barn (so many options and styles), the right grass, run-ins in the pasture, trees around the pasture (or not), fencing, local vets in the area we want to move to, where to buy hay, etc.).

We have always boarded our horses and this will be a first for actually taking care of them myself. I have quite a bit to do but I really can't wait to look out and see our spotted  pasture pets in our own yard!

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SD's Graduation Weekend

The weekend trip to my stepkids' state is over.  It had its ups and downs.

Friday: We got to my sister's on the beach (where we were staying) around dinner.  My stepdaughter unexpectedly texted her dad and said they (her, her boyfriend, and my stepson) were coming over - that was around 6 p.m.  9:00 p.m. and they still aren't there. Hubby is tired because it's been over 24 hours since he slept (he works nights and worked the night before we drove out of state) but he waits up.  They finally show up - they had gone to the beach first.  (Um, we were staying ON the beach?)  OK.  My stepson is the same.  My stepdaughter talks differently.  She wasn't mean or disrespectful or anything - her tone and mannerisms are just so different.

Saturday:  My husband picks up his son in the morning and takes him to breakfast (sd has to work).  He brings my stepson back to my sister's with him for the day.  My sd comes around dinner after work with her boyfriend.  They stay until almost midnight out on the beach with us. We had a good time with them.  No mention of anything negative or anything from sd.  Must be just for texting?

Sunday:  Graduation day.  We get texts that morning telling us they have extra tickets if we want to bring  all the siblings.  Huh?  How do you go from taking mine away from me to suddenly having so many?  They didn't say but we all went to the graduation.  The kids were bored, lol, but it was good that we went as a family.  Pictures afterward - AWKWARD!!

The ex was there with her parents and her sister - her parents HATE my husband and her sister HATES me.  We had my in-laws and the six of us including our kids.  Weird.

When somebody said to get a picture with my sd with her brother, mother and father alone, I heard the ex say to my sd, "I'll stand by your father."  My sd told her no, she'd stand in the middle between them, lol.  Too bad, ex!

One thing I didn't realize, I guess because my kids don't have the ugly history with the ex that my husband and I do, is how that picture of them taken together would affect my kids.  Our ten-year-old daughter was uncomfortable and hurt.  She didn't like seeing her dad, her two siblings, and the ex taking a picture together like a family.  They've not been together in 16+ years and it's been 16 turbulent years. It was a bit uncomfortable for me, but apparently for the kids as well.

Our oldest handled it by joking about the ex with four chins.  I guess we all handle it differently.  Sarcastic jokes, hurt, awkwardness...interesting weekend.

Those occasions - like graduation - are bound to be uncomfortable for everybody.  I'll have to remember for future events like my stepson's graduation, weddings, etc., to be more aware of helping my kids with the awkwardness of it all.  Now that they're older, they see things differently - can't hide nothing from them anymore.

I made a DVD of all the video I took for my sd's graduation and printed out all the pictures I took with them in them (including the one "family" pic of my husband, the ex, my sd, and ss) - going to be the bigger person here.  Will mail those out to my sd and ss.

So, is the relationship between my stepdaughter and her dad better?  I don't know yet.  Time will tell.  If you go by the graduation weekend, it's fine.  Her hostile texts for the months prior to that though?  No clue.

As far as the weekend, outside of the step/ex stuff, we had a good time - lots of sun, beach, and two new favorite adult beverages - trashy margaritas and cherry pomegranate/vodka drink.  Yum.

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Plan a Family Reunion

I am SO glad I went to my family's reunion out of state last weekend.  I almost missed it but hubby nudged me to go.  I hadn't seen 95% of the family at the reunion in years.  My uncle has Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (Stage IV) and was diagnosed in 2003.  He's living with it (natural treatments) and shocking his doctors.  When I saw him last weekend, he looked SO good.  I am hopeful he'll be at the next reunion but who can say with a Stage IV cancer.  My cousins were as cute as ever (there are some good male genes in our family...wow). 

I am hoping we won't wait years to plan another family reunion.  I really missed many of my relatives (every family has a few that a person could go without seeing I'd imagine).  For the next one, we need to plan more - games for little children, adult games, and I'd like to get a projector and gather pictures from all the families from years past when we used to have a reunion annually so I've been looking at projector reviews.  I don't know a thing about projectors so I need to look into how best to view them - white screen, television, do they still use slides or are they all digital.  I am clueless.  I remember the projector my father used when I was a kid but they used slides.  I'd imagine they've advanced far more than I could even imagine.

If you've not had a family reunion in years, think about having one.  As dysfunctional as my family I grew up in is, all that stayed out of the way so we could all have a good time and see extended family we hadn't seen in too long. 

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Fun Family Times

Two of my girls were doing a dance for me for my birthday the other day when my husband jumped in and joined them (unscripted and so funny). We have so much fun as a family together (in spite of the ex:)

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Family Trip to the Zoo

Oh my gosh, we went to the zoo yesterday (my first time at this zoo) and I am beyond sore. We were there for a good eight hours! I have never spent that much time at a zoo. It feels like every part of my body hurts from the neck down from walking all day long.

We thought this would be a great family activity to do together before school starts up in 2-1/2 weeks. It was our three year old's first time at a zoo. She had a great time but by late afternoon, she was walking in a sleepy daze. Our older kids held up better than I did.

I'll post pictures soon.

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Yup, Forgotten

Well, my son's birthday was forgotten by my two teenaged stepkids and my mother. I was hoping the day wouldn't go by yesterday without a birthday wish, but it did. How hard is it to say "Happy Birthday" ??? Both my youngest daughter and only son were forgotten by grandma and two of my girls and son by the stepkids.

I didn't mention it to anybody - not hubby or my son. My son was pretty happy with his birthday gift from us and he has a party this weekend with a Kung Fu Panda birthday cake, lol. So, he's not noticed the members of his family who forget, which I am very glad he wasn't hurt. I noticed though.

What is sad is that I expect it to happen. I know it will. The stepkids were raised to forget about us as much as possible so it's no big surprise there. My mother I expect because she's done it so many times in the past...not just forgetting birthdays but putting my kids at the end of the line of grandkids. Playing favorites is a sucky way to grandparent.

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Forget Your Sister, Forget Your Bro, Forget Your Grandchild

My stepkids didn't acknowledge the April birthday of one sister and May birthday of their other sister. They either totally forgot or just totally blew it off. Even if they forgot on the particular date, they DID see the pictures after the fact and still didn't mention a word. So as far as I am concerned, they blew it off.

Tomorrow is their little brother's birthday. I wonder if they'll remember (or blow off) this sibling too.

Of course, my mother forgot her youngest granddaughter's birthday as well. It was a month ago and not a phone call to say happy birthday. I'm not even going to wonder if she'll forget her grandson's birthday tomorrow too. I can pretty much bet confidently that she doesn't forget my sister's kids.

A sister forgets. A brother forgets. A grandmother forgets.

What's that saying - you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your family...something like that anyway.

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