So Mad I Could Spit
>> Friday, December 12, 2008
A couple weeks ago, I got this idea on a gift for my stepdaughter and stepson. Not a Christmas gift, just a "thinking about you" gift. I spent time online finding the right ones (I ended up with two each instead of one for each of them too). I found them and paid too much in shipping to have them shipped to my stepdaughter and stepson. They received them Wednesday according to the tracking number.
Tonight I get a text from my stepdaughter "thank you thank you thank you...etc." She was thrilled and appreciative and let me know. I was glad she liked them. I knew she would. So, I asked my stepdaughter if her brother liked his too. She texted back that he said to tell his dad thanks and that he's already learned something from it. Tell his dad?!?!
I wasn't expecting him to bow and kiss my feet. What would be nice, considering I've been married to his dad for 13 years come December 28th, is a joint thank you to the both of us. Seriously, basic manners here! I've known this boy since he was six months old.
He wouldn't know that "I" had the idea. "I" did all the searching for the gifts. "I" handled the payment and shipping of the items. "I" tracked the gifts through tracking to make sure they got there. However, to send his thanks THRU ME to just his dad? Um, rude?!?!
Why do I bother?
2 comments:
I used to do what you did.....I was excited about it then. I'd select some super cool (but reasonably priced since ex gets too much of our money) gifts, and wrap them special, and add special notes, and tell their Dad to add notes (and tell him what to write sometimes)....and then no answer, or their Dad would hear a "thank you" directed at him only. At first, when the stepkids were young, I understood and didn't expect much. I probably did the same thing to my own stepmother when I was young and oblivious (and my stepmom is practically an angel, I am very lucky to have her). But these days, I don't bother putting myself out there anymore unless my husband asks me to...I let him take care of it (or watch him drag his feet on it). Gifts of course are about the giving.....but you have to wonder why you bother when YOU are always the one giving till it hurts, financially and emotionally.
Exactly! I could look beyond my own hurt and say it's the thought that counts but when it is continually thrown back in my face that I mean nothing, I stop being a doormat.
I used to make sure the kids always had letters/cards/small gifts from us regularly for years. It's not something my husband would even think about doing. This past year, I've stopped. Now they get nothing except for birthdays and holidays because that is the only time my husband thinks about doing it. I'm not doing it anymore. Maybe in a couple years when they're both adults, that'll change.
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