In-Law Problems

I've been on facebook for well over a year and have many of my in-laws on my friend list and chat with some of them regularly.  The one person who has been on facebook who has never sent me a friend request is one of my husband's sisters.  I've met her twice in 15 years and she hated me the first time she walked through my door.  I wasn't the ex and you could tell when she walked in the door to meet me that she was not going to give me a chance at all.  She gave support to the ex when it should've been given to her brother, etc.  One of those situations.  She left a nasty message on our answering machine once for our kids to hear about me and how blood was thicker than water - like my husband would actually support HER over ME.  That tells me right there how much she knew her brother and our marriage - not at all.

Well, last night she sends me a facebook friend request.  Why?  I don't know.  I asked my husband and he said, "Maybe she likes you now."  I asked him how that would happen since I've only met her twice in 15 years, she has never liked me, so when would she get to know me to change her mind?  Twice in 15 years - that tells you how close he is to her as well doesn't it?

She's been acting to him like nothing has been wrong lately on facebook, leaving him messages on his wall and instant chatting with him, like there was never a wall between them for more than a decade.  He'll go along with pretending to hide that he wants little to do with her so he doesn't hurt his elderly parents (his mom in particular).  Is it so bad that I want him to call her out on her behavior, to tell her that her behavior was out of line?  I guess his silence all these years with her did that in a passive way...I'd like to see a little less passive and more in your face to get the point across that it's not tolerated.  I guess that's just me and not him though.

Now I have to figure out what to do with her friend request.  She doesn't like me but if I ignore it, she'll tell their mother and then it'll come back on me.  It always comes back on me because I'm the in-law with the bullseye on my butt.  If I accept it, I have to what?  Pretend she didn't leave nasty messages on our answering machine for my kids to hear about me, about her support of my husband's ex enabling her victim mentality for so many years?

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Stepdaughter Turns Down Free Year of College

My stepdaughter is turning down a free year of college for her core classes even though she wants to be a vet and knows neither one of her parents have the money to pay her college tuition.  Why am I upset when I expected this?

I think she will come to regret that decision as she's struggling in the coming years but there's nothing I can do about it. 

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Want Stepdaughter to Live Here for College

We have this program here where high school kids can go to college, while in high school, and get college credit for it.  It's free too as long as they pass their classes.  My husband sent the information to his ex the other day to see if she'd be agreeable to my stepdaughter living here for her senior year in high school so she can get her first year of college classes/books free.  She's in honors/advanced classes now and would do well with this program according to the school.  I know we don't have the money to send her to college and my stepdaughter says her mother doesn't either.  This would give her a good start to get her first year of core classes done plus she'll get high school credit and graduate as well - all in one. 

I doubt if her mother will agree.  My husband hasn't said anything to my stepdaughter about it.  He wanted to get her mother's input on it.  A decision needs to be made before Friday though for deadlines and here we are at Wednesday and no word. 

I don't think it will happen, regardless of the free college AND it gets her out of the bad situation she is in with the boyfriend/ex-boyfriend that put her in therapy.  It's not like my stepdaughter is a baby and the ex is still wondering how to fade stretch marks. She graduates in a year anyway. It means she leaves one year early and doesn't move away from both of them for college, she comes to her home with her father for her first year of college.

The chances of this happening? Slim to none. 

What an opportunity I'd LOVE to have.  I wish I could get a year of college classes for free.

Would she even leave the bad influence of the boyfriend/ex-boyfriend to do it?  Who knows. 

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Teenage Years are Trying Times Already!

My stepdaughter told me when she was down here that she had been engaged this past year (she's a junior in high school).  Surprised was one word I'd use to describe my reaction, but I didn't let her know any of my feelings about it.  Yikes!

Knowing what we know now about her boyfriend (or ex...if he is an ex...who knows anymore), she dodged a bullet if they're no longer together.  I think he has the possibility of being physically dangerous (he's already emotionally/mentally dangerous in our opinion). 

She did go to prom with him this last weekend, supposedly as friends.  She wasn't allowed to drive with him but met him there instead.  Her mother drove her and picked her up which was a good thing.  I wonder if they're really just friends or pretending to be just friends because she knows her mother won't let her near him otherwise. 

This teenage stuff?  It stinks.  She's the oldest.  We have five more to go!

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Cancer Sucks!

A high school friend passed away yesterday from cancer. She never had a bad word to say about anybody. She was one of those people who was always sweet, always helpful. We sat together in our business classes and became friends. After graduation we lost touch, which so often happens, and then facebook put us back in touch again recently. She ended up marrying another friend from high school. I feel really bad for him right now.

I'm sure this is not how it really is but from an emotional standpoint, is seems like the good people are taken too early. People with pure hearts leave too soon.

Very sad.

Cancer sucks!

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