Pay For My Birth Control

>> Saturday, June 18, 2011

All was quiet on the texting front since we got back from our trip to see my sd graduate.  There weren't any nasty texts these past six days (as opposed to the previous months of hostile texts).  Of course, we didn't get any "hi, how are ya" texts either but texts started coming in tonight for a reason - money.

My sd wants her dad to pay for half her birth control.  She said the ex is going to pay the other half.  It's the patch so she said it is a lot more expensive than the pill (she says she won't swallow a little pill).  

First, I am glad she wants to be responsible if she is going to have sex.  However, I have problems with this on different levels.

  • We already pay for her health insurance.  Her mother hasn't paid her share since last August.
  • She is an adult.  If she thinks she is old enough to have sex, she should be old enough to pay for her protection?
  • She won't work more than four hours a shift at her first job she's ever had (she's had it for a couple weeks now - unless she's quit and not told us).  It's not that she CAN'T work more than a few hours a few days a week, she just doesn't want to.  She said she'd quit her job if her boss scheduled her for more than that.  (Umm...might want to get a few more hours to pay for your birth control?)
  • Her boyfriend is a minor still in high school and I am SO not comfortable with paying for her birth control to sleep with a minor.
  • Shouldn't the boyfriend share some responsibility for this?
  • I don't believe in synthetic hormones unless absolutely necessary but if it's something she wants to do, as an adult, that's up to her (but financing it - that's up to us).
  • I'd never DREAM of asking my parents to pay for my birth control as an adult (heck, as a minor teenager either).  Never, ever, ever.
  • I don't understand the concept of having everything handed to you the way my stepkids do - cars, money, stereos, instruments, computers, etc. etc. etc. (it really is neverending).  I worked two jobs in high school (stepkids don't/won't have jobs in high school) and paid for my needs myself - clothing, birth control, lunches, car payments, dates, car insurance, inc.).  After I graduated, I immediately started working FULL-TIME (none of this 'if you schedule me for more than four hour shifts, I quit stuff' my sd is doing) while putting myself through college.  I didn't expect anybody to pay my way for anything.
  • She's not offering a penny of her own money for her own birth control.  
  • How long does she expect dad to pay for it?  Financially, I don't see anything changing for her for at least four years in terms of a career and she doesn't seem to want to work much at any other type of job and she's already threatened to quit her first job before the first week was up.   
  • Also, she only texts when it's to complain viciously about something or for money anymore.  She hasn't been to our home in over a year.  She had more important things to do than spend time with her family here. What makes it ok to hold your hand out for money when you want no part of us any other time?
My husband told me what she was texting about and I had a lot of questions - what is the birth control called, does she understand the possible side effects, why can't she swallow a pill versus the more expensive birth control, why can't she pay for them, etc.  My husband didn't know and threw his hands up with a "I don't know."  Well, if she expects you to pay for this, you have a right to ask these questions.  So he asked.  She didn't know the name of it.  What?  You are asking for money every month to pay for your birth control but you don't know the name of it?  Really?  

I gave my husband the link to my stepdaughter's county health department who provides family planning services on an income-based scale.  My gut says she will refuse to go to the health department (and the county they live in has some very expensive areas so it's not like she'd be going into the slums).  I guess we'll figure this out tomorrow - on Father's Day...a discussion about money...yeah.  At least this year, she'll have to contact her dad on Father's Day (to find out if he'll pay for this every month) - last year, she didn't bother contacting her dad at all on Father's Day.  


Anonymous June 20, 2011 at 6:46 PM  

Seriously? It feels like pushing over the edge.

Syn June 20, 2011 at 8:03 PM  

It was certainly a discussion I didn't expect.

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