Husband Cheats With Ex
>> Monday, November 17, 2008
In a stepfamily, you are dealing with so many different family dynamics. You have two biological parents who are no longer together. You have a new spouse (becoming a step-parent) who may or may not have a good relationship with their spouse's ex. The new spouse may also bring children into the marriage and then you have more children with your spouse. The ex may remarry and it just continues with the family dynamics. It's a maze isn't it? It's tough work that needs all parties to agree to cooperate to make it work. Sometimes, dishonesty exists though in the most unexpected place.
What happens if your spouse cheats with his ex?
I have been sitting at my desk going through paperwork, paying bills, getting ready to take my state tests, etc. and Dr. Phil is on in the background. There is a husband on there who cheated on his second wife with his ex, the first wife! Could you imagine? Not me. What a rat!!
A spouse cheating is heartbreaking enough but if a spouse cheats with their ex, I think it magnifies that hurt tenfold. If it's with the one person who has tried to make your life and marriage hell, what do you do?
To me, cheating with anybody isn't an option. I honor my vows and I expect my husband to do the same if he wants to keep me and our family the way it is. If cheating were to occur with the dreaded ex after everything we've gone through because of her and others with her, no way in hell! The anger would magnify beyond reason I think. That is the ultimate of ultimate betrayals.
Good thing that DH didn't much like sleeping with her when he was with her so it's not even a blip on my radar but for some stepmothers, it may be.
How would you deal with it? Could you?
2 comments:
There is no way I could deal with it and stay married to him. In fact I've threatened my Hubby during one of our "what if" conversations that if I died and he went back to her I would come back and haunt him and make sure he was miserable. I don't want her anywhere near my daughter or any of our future children. Of course he looked at me like I was crazy and told me he would never go there. He says he really doesn't understand what he was thinking the first time around other than being 19 and stupid.
LOL, I've told my husband the same thing. I'd haunt his butt most definitely. After everything that woman has done to him, their kids, us as a family, I'd spend eternity without forgiveness if he went back to her.
I look at my husband still (after 13 years) and wonder, "what the heck were you thinking?" Too much alcohol out at the bars and look what you pick up?!?! Ewww.
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