Silly me - -
I thought when my stepdaughter turned 18, it'd be over with in terms of having to deal with the ex where it concerned my stepdaughter. Boy was I wrong!! The ex is acting like she never turned 18 in terms of what she expects us to pay if all the bills she is sending us is any indication (though she is not sharing information about health, etc. like she would have to do if she were still legally obligated to). Pfft.
We received another bill from the ex for my adult stepdaughter for an eye appointment.
First, we aren't legally required to pay for this. SD is an adult.
Second, the bill was for $180.50 even though my husband has good eye insurance. Never have we received a bill this high for my sd's eyes so I did a little research. I'm waiting to hear back from the eye insurance company but from what I can tell from the bill the ex sent us and the online statement at our eye insurance company, the ex allowed my stepdaughter to get both new glasses and contacts at once (in the past, it's always been either/or, never both because insurance only covers one or the other in a year). The ex billed us for the contacts (which weren't covered at all BECAUSE her new glasses that my stepdaughter got, per our insurer online, were covered by our insurance instead). The ex didn't tell us about the glasses! Scammer. Unreasonable and unnecessary mean anything? That's assuming we were legally obligated to pay for any of this - which we are not. SD should get a job (yeah, she quit her very part-time job awhile ago).
Does the ex think we're stupid and she could pull one over on us? Does she think that now that my sd is an adult that the rules change? The only rules that changed as far as I can see is that WE AREN'T LEGALLY REQUIRED TO PAY FOR ANY OF THIS.
The ex never talked to us about whether we'd be willing to pay for my sd's stuff after she turned 18. She's just assuming we are. She really shouldn't assume anything.
We received another $60 birth control bill in the mail today from the ex for my adult stepdaughter (we didn't pay the last one so not sure what she's thinking). The ex has NEVER spoke one word to my husband about us paying for sd's birth control...she just sent a bill - again.
My stepdaughter knows there is a clinic in her county that will provide exams and birth control for little to nothing out of pocket. The ex is waiting for ME, "current wife" to her ex-boyfriend (that's how the ex has referred to me anyway) to call them and get information for her. Why in the heck should "I" call the clinic for my ADULT stepdaughter when she lives down the road from the place and I am in a different state? Why doesn't the ADULT who is having sex call? Why doesn't the ex call - the one who lives in that county and is allowing underage boys to sleep over at her house? My husband says it is easier for her to pay the $60 every month (and send them to us) rather than make a phone call herself. She probably doesn't want to talk to a stranger about *gasp* sexual activity her Catholic, adult daughter is having outside of marriage. They have the addresses, hours, phone numbers, and info. the clinics provide - all they have to do is pick up the phone and set a time to go there around sd's schedule (which I don't know so I couldn't do it anyway). I firmly believe that sd is an adult and should be taking responsibility for making these arrangements anyway. Obviously both adults choose to wait until somebody else does it for them.
Next weekend is my freshman daughter's first homecoming! She and one other freshman were invited to a formal dinner by a senior in the school to attend before homecoming (catered by her family's restaurant I would imagine). These two girls were the only freshman invited so my daughter got a thrill out of that. This senior is a very nice girl and has been nice to my daughter, despite the age difference the last few years. Then she'll attend her first homecoming with a group of her friends (no dating yet). This weekend is dress shopping so she's very excited.
Next weekend is also the weekend of my grandmother's memorial that I am not going to attend. I won't ask my daughter to give up her first homecoming to attend a memorial in another state for somebody she didn't know (I hadn't seen her in years - we had a falling out due to the very strained - antagonistic, angry - relationship I've had with my father (her son) from the time I was a child (total dysfunction in the family...rotten). Anyway, my father tried to lay a guilt trip on me about not attending the memorial but after the childhood he gave me and the fact that he moved to the other side of the country from his own kids, grandkids and mother with my most recent stepmother (not one of the women he cheated on my mother with...this was three girlfriends later...or four, I don't know - lost count), pfft. I'm sure he knows where I think he should put his guilt trip!
No matter how old you get (and I'm staring at 40 next month), the family dysfunction never really goes away.
Speaking of 40 - I received a compliment last night. I overheard one of my son's friends say, "That's your mom? She looks like a teenager!" hee hee 40 isn't looking too shabby to me at the moment! Maybe I won't cry as hard as I think I will.
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