Can't Take Promotion Until Child Support Done

>> Sunday, October 18, 2009

...and it's not what it sounds like.

I'm feeling a little down right now. My husband was offered a promotion at work. It is better hours (M-F office job as opposed to 3rd shift plant job) but because the overtime isn't there for this new position (and we need the overtime to make up for what goes out to the ex to meet our own bills), this new position wouldn't pay enough for our household expenses and child support.

I'm really upset. I wish it were four years into the future and child support was done and he could take this new position. It'd be the best thing for his health and for the family - our kids and his since he also can't talk to his kids during the week either. When he gets up to go to work (after 9), he's not "allowed" to call his older kids because they're supposedly in bed (yeah, right...they're bed my butt!). He used to call from his cell on the drive into work at 9:15 but the ex told him he can't. On the weekends, they're all over the place and hard to find (might be on purpose, who knows). We can't make weekend trips to see them because his 3rd shift job starts on Sunday night so the weekend isn't really a weekend.

3rd shift means he doesn't get to spend time with our kids during the week because when they get home from school, he's sleeping. When he gets up to go to work, they're in bed so he hugs who is still awake in bed and then leaves. It means he can't help with homework (sure could use his help with algebra with our oldest), have dinner with us, or go to the different sports events during the week. It means his body is getting battered on 3rd shift - he's sick more, he's crabby, etc. It's not been good for his health at all. We haven't had dinner together as a family consistently in almost four years because his body clock is opposite of ours.

Every major family decision over the years has been put off until child support was done. I wouldn't want to wish my kids to age 18 right away, but I sure wish my stepkids were 18 and we could then make decisions that would be best for our family as a whole instead of just for two.


mrsguido187 October 18, 2009 at 11:48 AM  

I hope it all works out for you. I understand. I can't wait for my step kids to turn 18 also. Not only for child support reasons. As soon as they are 18 we can get a restraining order to keep the Evil One from ever contacting us again. We can't wait until that day.

Monica October 18, 2009 at 12:30 PM  

I can totall sympathize with you. Is it sad that I am counting down the number of payments that we have left on my step-daughter. I'm just looking forward to being able to put that money in savings instead of into the hands of someone who doesn't appreciate it. We don't ever see his daughter, but lord have mercy if that check doesn't get there on time. It gets old very quick and I'll be glad when it's over.

Syn November 3, 2009 at 12:30 PM  

Isn't it a sad way to feel - anxious for kids to grow up to finally get a little relief (not just financial but from the ex too). I am going to have such a huge party when it's over. I have two countdowns on my site counting down the days for both of them. I get excited when it shows a noticeable difference.

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