Shame On Me

I give up. There are some things in life that will not be changed right now. Accept that right? Accept it for five more years or forever if necessary. My stepdaughter graduates in 3-1/2 years and stepson in 5-1/2 years. I've said "I give up" before but always soften up and try again. Why? When I try to help certain people, it just comes back to bite me in the backside. When am I going to learn? How many times am I going to put myself into this same position to get attitude and blame because other people won't grow up? I'm the convenient punching bag for a lying, manipulative, person who enjoys the victim role too much to ever give it up! Sure, play victim for another decade. Why not. To heck with what it has done to the people who love you the most. I set myself up for this. I really did. I should know better by now. I should have stayed disengaged. Shame on me. Really. I should just stop caring. If it could only be that easy. What really irritates me off is that the result of the manipulating, lying behavior hurts...which fuels my anger because I can do something with anger. Can't do much with tears. I hate crying. I hate crying over this situation year in and year out. Yeah it's 2008...let's cry some more.

Somebody tattoo this on my backside so I don't forget: "Stop caring. There is nothing I can do. It's not up to me to help or reach out. It's not my problem."