Well, crap, they (well, she) almost came over!

My husband got briefly excited last week when he received a text from his daughter asking him if he could take that night off from work and come get them in their state. I say "briefly" because it was very brief.  The "them" wasn't my stepdaughter and stepson.  It was my stepdaughter and her boyfriend.  To spend the night at our house.  With our young kids in the house.  Something she has been told isn't allowed (sleepovers with a boyfriend). To then turn around and drive them to a concert that is hours away from our house.

Ohhhhhhh, that's why you wanted to come over.  There was a concert in our state she wanted to see.  Not dad.

That's why I said briefly.

The glow died fairly quickly when she found out dad threw his back out that day and had called into work because he could barely move and was in a lot of pain. So you can't come get us?  Really?!?!

Actually, dad would have sat in a car 5-6 hours round trip to get his kids here, while in pain, if they were actually coming HERE to visit HIM. THEY weren't. Only one was, with a guest, for a concert - ONLY. But to do that and then to turn around and sit in a car for another six hours on top of it to drop them off at a concert?

No.

She didn't want to come HERE. She wanted the concert.  So, she didn't come. Had she wanted to come here to visit her father and siblings without another motive, he would have hopped into that car in pain there and back to do it.

He asked her if she wanted to come over on her spring break.

*crickets*

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Stepkid Birthdays

My stepson turns 17 this year.  Then it will be one more year of having a legal relationship with the ex!  Yeah for us.

I'm sure he'll be asking for something music-related for his birthday (he's like his dad in that regard).  Usually, he picks uber expensive gifts. Maybe we can nip that request in the bud and find him an appropriately priced mixer before he sends us his gift list and head off the frustration those requests bring.

I have a love/hate thing going with my stepchildren's birthdays.  On one hand, I LOVE them because it means one less year of having a legal relationship with the ex.  On the other hand, I don't like holidays gift buying for my stepkids anymore.  Their gift requests are always SO huge.  Maybe that's ok with their mom (she always did go big at holidays for them so it's really expected anymore) but that's hard for us.  I think we'll jump start the gift buying ideas ahead of time and find him a nice mixer for his recording without breaking the bank.

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Christmas & the Stepkids

Well, I waited to post about Christmas and the stepkids (as I said in my last post I was going to do).  I didn't want to make any predictions...though I knew exactly what was going to happen.

When I wrote that last post, my kids sat wrapping presents from them to their older half-siblings to add to the box of already over $300 worth of gifts going to my stepkids.  As they sat and wrapped, my husband opened a small UPS box he'd just received from the ex's place of employment.  It was an unwrapped sweatshirt stuffed into the box (literally stuffed and bulging) and a Christmas card signed from my two stepkids to their dad - only.  My husband, after opening his present from his children, hoped that it wasn't going to be the only thing from his kids to this house - - hoped they weren't going to ignore everybody else.  I mentioned how sad it was that as our kids wrap presents to their older siblings, they get ignored by them.  I don't actually expect them to spend money on any of us anymore for anything but they should have addressed their Christmas card to everybody - at least their siblings too.  That was a deliberate snub.  Nothing else came.

I mentioned during this discussion that we only had about $25 in the budget for a birthday gift for my stepdaughter (who turns 19 in two days) and told my husband when the latest it would have to be mailed out for her to get it in time.  I leave the rest to him.  Considering how today was that mailing cut-off date and my husband hasn't done anything yet, I am thinking this is going to be the first year her present is late, if he plans to send her one.  I don't care.  It's not my problem.  Unless he plans to spend the money he's been saving to replace his crappy computer, all she will get is $25 out of our budget - if he sends it.

I'm sure my husband probably received a Merry Christmas text from his children and perhaps even a thank you  from them via text though last I heard, he hadn't heard that they'd even received it (yeah, good thing we pay for the tracking to know they did).  The rest of us heard nothing.

I will be removing my stepdaughter from my Facebook.  She already dissed me over her graduation ceremony.  She doesn't get to act snotty to me on Facebook, totally dis her siblings during the holidays - who have never done a thing to either of them but love them, and then hold her hand out for expensive gifts (and oh wow...did she use her gift for the worst tattoo ever - wow is it awful).  The fallout from my blocking my stepdaughter from my FB will be felt through the whole family on his side - the ex and stepdaughter will make sure of it.  That will leave my husband to explain why to his adult "child" when she throws a fit (despite her age, she is emotionally stunted - due to the prozac or her mother or both - who knows), to his parents and rest of his family.  It's beyond time for him to speak out anyway.

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Think I'm Done with the Step "Kids"

I think I'm done with the stepkids.  They're spoiled, ungrateful "kids" who are old enough to know better at this point.  This year has been crap as far as they are concerned..  Between them not even contacting their dad in any way on Father's Day, them being too busy all summer to come here for even a week, my stepdaughter's emotional blackmail recently, and now the kids not doing one darn thing for their dad on Christmas, I've had it.  My stepdaughter turns 18 tomorrow.  My stepson is two years behind her.  They're old enough to know better.

As with Father's Day, hubby was quiet on Christmas.  Must hurt to know you love your kids more than anything and that they might not love you back all that much.  It seems the ex has fully succeeded in alienating the kids from their father.  It's been creeping that way for about five years now when they gave into her and dad became unimportant.  I hope she's proud of herself. 

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