Our vacation is over. It was such a good time. A lot was crammed into a small amount of time but everybody had fun.
We started out with car problems and then my oldest daughter getting a migraine an hour before we are supposed to hit the road. I gave her some caffeine and migraine medication and sent her to bed in complete dark. She ended up throwing up with chills and then was ok after a couple hours. We hit the road.
Since we drive by my stepkids' house on the way to my sister's home, we dropped in unexpectedly just to say hi. The ex invited us in since it had turned cold outside (where we usually stand) and we had four kids with us. I know - pick yourself up off the floor. :) We only stayed for a few minutes. We hadn't seen my stepkids since last summer and we wanted to lay eyes on them and say hi for just a minute but we didn't want to intrude since it was an uninvited drop by.
The next day, my little sister tells me she is giving me a hair makeover PLUS she's bought me a new outfit to wear (because apparently I have no fashion sense:). Off I go with her to get my hair cut and highlighted. Oh yeah, she tells me after we get there that I'm getting my eyebrows waxed too. (She knew if she'd told me that BEFORE we drove there, I wouldn't have done it.) The salon gives us chardonnay to drink and my hair appointment is completed. It's not to my sister's satisfaction (and really for the price, you should have been able to SEE the highlights which you couldn't in my hair). I get another appointment for noon the next day to fix the highlights.
The next morning...my stepdaughter's band shows start. We hit the morning show. I'm looking good in my new clothes and wicked heels. Unfortunately, they were SO wicked, they hurt too much to wear for very long (but you can be sure I wore them for the show). Ouch! Why does fashion have to hurt? Anyway, we get there and I smile all friendly-like and say "hi" to the ex. We are waiting out in the hall with all the other parents of the kids, including the ex, her brother, and my stepson for my stepdaughter's time (about 20 minute wait). My stepson sticks by his mother most of the time and hubby chats with the ex and her brother periodically - friendly for the kids. The morning show is over and off we go - me to get my hair finished and to get those dang shoes off.
In between the morning and my stepdaughter's afternoon show, my sister gives me a really stylish pair of boots that feel WONDERFUL after the wicked heels. Then she raids her closet and dresses me - again. My husband's eyes about fell out of his head. I had on an expensive pair of low-rise jeans (I'd never spend over $100 on a pair of jeans!), a camisole and button up shirt with boots with my newly highlighted and straightened hair. Trendy. You'd have thought I was standing there naked for my husband's reaction. Guess I better buy myself some "trendy."
My stepdaughter's afternoon show - we have to wait for 1-1/2 hours for her turn in the hallway with the ex. This time, my stepson sticks by dad for 99% of the time. We take pictures of my stepdaughter afterward and then the ex wants a picture of my stepdaughter with all of us (myself included because she mentioned my name). Huh? Really? Was this to make herself look good in front of the friend she'd been chatting with for an hour who was standing there? To throw darts at? Or did she really want this picture with good intentions? Who knows the real reason but we did it. I felt like my face was frozen for the picture but oh well. Show over and home we go to get ready again. It's date night with hubby (we haven't gone out in about four years because we don't have a sitter in our hometown).
Date night was awesome. We had a couple drinks, danced, talked and just enjoyed ourselves until almost bar closing. We met some family there and then a couple friends I hadn't seen in 20+ years showed up. We went home sober (neither wanted a hangover on vacation) and wrapped up in each other. Instead of going to sleep, we ended up talking for a couple hours in bed until about 5:00 a.m. It was SO wonderful. During the day to day of normal family life and routine, we forget to concentrate on just the two of us for more than just short durations. My husband told me that night as we talked that it was like falling in love all over again. We've been pretty wrapped up in each other ever since.
I felt bad for going twice to get my hair done (hubby stayed at my sister's with the kids) and told hubby that. He told me I shouldn't feel bad and that it was ok. He told me that I had to put up with his ex several times that weekend so it was ok.
The next day is my daughter's birthday party. My stepkids are coming to my sister's for the day. We go to pick them up and my stepdaughter and the ex aren't home when we get there. They show up about ten minutes later and we sit there for about a half hour, inside the ex's house on her couch, chatting with her until my stepdaughter and her boyfriend get their day's arrangements planned (her boyfriend is coming over too - time for dad to get to know the boyfriend). The day goes well. My stepdaughter told a story of how hubby had scratched the ex's car when they were going somewhere together. I didn't realize that bothered hubby until he apologized for that conversation when the kids weren't around but I told him it was ok, that I expect the ex to tell the kids things about the time when they were together, that it may be a tad uncomfortable but it was certainly expected and ok. Both kids were too young when they split to ever remember their dad with their mom and the only way they are going to know things is for the ex to tell them. We all played guitars with my stepson and my stepdaughter's boyfriend, had dinner and cake, and then took them back to the ex's house when the time came to. I felt sad after dropping them off. Sad that we don't see my sisters more and sad that we aren't closer to my stepkids to see them more as well. I ended up crying on the drive back to my sister's house. I haven't cried about having to go home in years. Hubby was sweet about it all.
We get home from vacation and hubby decides he doesn't want the vacation to end yet so he takes another day off and we spend it all wrapped up in each other again. I love that feeling - of being in love with my husband - after 14 years of marriage. It's fantastic!
Reality returns and it's back to work today but it made me realize the importance of REALLY spending time with your spouse. I don't mean just the regular day to day. I know I love him and he loves me but we don't get to concentrate on just "us" with all the kids, work, etc. Actually spending that time talking - just the two of us with no kids interrupting as man and woman and not just mom and dad - reminded me of not just really loving my husband but being IN LOVE with my husband as well.
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