Is SS Hubby's?

What if you suspected your grown stepson was fathered by another man?

I've said all along that I didn't think my SS was my husband's for many reasons (the ex didn't tell him she was pregnant until she was more than three months along though they lived together, she "offered" to allow him not to claim paternity (as he did with their daughter) but didn't tell him why (he assumed she just wanted to keep father/son apart since they broke up), the ex's long time boss does things for them like send them to Disney a few times, buys them computers and large, flat screen televisions, pays her personal cell phone, etc.), and mom was very active through this kid's entire childhood in alienating father and son. He also doesn't look anything like his dad but that could've been just the way the genes fell.

I've recently come across a picture of this very generous and involved boss. OH.MY.GOD. 

Can we say spitting image? Facial features, bone structure, skin and hair color...

If true, coming forward that she had cheated would have destroyed her fake BS image with the in-laws, would have made her years' long battle to destroy dad hypocritical, and her strict Catholic upbringing - her dad would birth a cow. He had already disowned her when she became pregnant the first time w/o marriage. A second pregnancy by cheating? That would've been HUGE.

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Stepkid Ramblings - College, Paternity, Gifts

So much for getting some distance from her suffocating mother.  My stepdaughter isn't going to room at college. She's going to drive back and forth (about an hour each way - in good traffic).  That means she doesn't need that huge flat-screen television from us anymore that she'd "requested" for her dorm room for her graduation present (along with a projector and brand new car - the other two items she asked us for...I know, pick yourself up off the floor...I had to.).  Now she has requested we buy her college books for her as her high school graduation gift.  How much are books anyway for a college that costs $65,000/year?  Any estimates?  I don't have a clue either.

So, continuing to live with the ex while in college means that, 1) sd will continue to feel like she needs prozac, 2) child support will drop a little because she'll have graduated but the relationship will remain the way it is now - difficult - because mommy dearest will be standing between her kid and her kid's father.  Ah well...that's the way it's been for all these years now...why change right?

Since when do you tell people what to get you for graduation?

I asked my husband if he wanted to make a bet with me on what his ex will get sd for graduation.  I'm 99% sure she will buy her a new car.  I was pretty sure of that before we got the news that she was going to making that haul everyday but now that she is - betcha it's a new car.  I wonder if that was dangled in front of her as a way to get her to live at home?  Hmm...  Anyway, my husband didn't take the bet.

Her mother's boss just bought sd a new laptop for her graduation present.  That was actually the gift we were planning on getting her at one point for her graduation but the ex told us SHE was buying it for her instead.

I've often wondered on the paternity of my stepson.  Wouldn't you if there was a guy that's been in the picture that buys kids and ex HUGE gifts (flat screen televisions, computers, trips to Disney, etc.)...kinda looks like my stepson (moreso than my husband)...ex didn't tell my hubby she was pregnant with my ss until she was three months along and they were living together...see the issue here?

Oh well...rattling over.  I see a long list of housekeeping that is just calling my name.

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You Go Judge Hanschen! Paternity

A judge in Texas is bucking the system. The system I am talking about is the one that says "we don't care if you really fathered these children or not...just pay up the child support for them."

There is a father in Texas who started hearing rumors that one of his children wasn't really his. Shortly before his ex filed for divorce, he was served with papers to enforce child support. He was beyond the "four year" rule (a man has four years to challenge paternity of the children). Paternity tests were ordered by Judge Hanschen to be done immediately (and they were) but the Attorney General's Office filed on behalf of mom and the children to halt the paternity order. It was too late though. The results were released.

It was determined that BOTH of his daughters weren't really his (I believe his son was determined to be his). Not just one - BOTH OF THEM. That "woman" (I use the term loosely rather than referring to her as the slang for a loose woman) was trying to force him to pay for children that weren't his after denying him visitation all along. Get real! Make up your mind. Mom wants "dad's" money but doesn't want him to parent? You see, she'd kept the kids from him for two years so he went to their school and couldn't see them because they were in class. He left $2,000 with the school administrators and then was served with child support enforcement papers after that - for children that were later determined not to be his after he questioned paternity in court. You can't have it both ways lady! Well, a lot of women do have it both ways but it shouldn't be that way! This guy didn't father either one of these kids yet the state was trying to force him to pay anyway. Where was this woman's pride?

The Appeals Court ordered the DNA results be sealed and they were later ordered to be destroyed. What about this man's rights? What about these children's rights to know who their father(s) are? What about the biological fathers' obligations to support their own children rather than forcing a man with no biological ties to do it for them?

Here is a sample of the Dallas Observer article (and what I have been saying all along for YEARS about what is wrong with the current child support system):

"But to critics, the office's unwillingness to acknowledge that some of its practices may railroad poor, uneducated men into financial hardship is evidence of more sinister motives. The office receives federal funds based in part on the amount of child support that it collects and distributes, giving the Child Support Division a budgetary incentive to close as many cases as it can, no matter whose rights it might trample."

Did you get that? "The office" (referring to the state child support agency) "receives federal funds based in part on the amount of child support that it collects and distributes, giving the Child Support Division a budgetary incentive to close as many cases as it can, no matter whose rights it might trample."

The state receives federal kickbacks from the federal government for every dollar they collect in child support no matter what they have to do and whose rights they trample to get it.

Why should men be financially threatened and face jail time and seized assets for not paying child support for child/ren that are not their children? What about the rights of the children to not only know who their father(s) are but to be supported by the biological parent (rather than the male figure most easily saddled with the child support bill)?

Child support is a necessity. I think both parents have a financial obligation to their children. However, the holes in the law that allow men who father children to get out of providing support because other men are not allowed out of support obligations for children that aren't their own is WRONG.

Why should the wrong "dad" be ordered to pay support for another man's child? How is it in a child's best interests not to know who his or her biological parent is? Where is the man's equal protection under the law?

Men are also being denied due process when the Texas courts say they mail notices to the fathers to show up in court but they don't receive it. The courts assume they do but it hasn't actually been received. When he doesn't show up, he gets screwed in court in a default judgment and surprised when child support is taken from his paycheck and he has no idea what is going on. (We were recently sent a notice from the court to send objections within a set amount of days on a notice they said they sent us when they didn't! It happens.)

Not all mothers are honest. Some are liars sleeping around with a hand out to the gullible man for his money to pay for children she created elsewhere. Yes, I am a woman. Yes, I am a mother. I would be damned before I would allow myself to treat somebody so dishonestly and unfairly and deny a child of mine the right to know who their dad was...these women must have no morals or pride.

I wish for the 100th time at least that my husband had requested DNA testing on one of his children before acknowledging paternity after hearing some of the things his ex said when she was withholding the child from my husband. It would settle the questions after she told him during one argument that she was going to tell everybody that the child wasn't his. Was she speaking out of anger? Who knows. It really brings to mind that you never really know.

See the news article here.

For more of my thoughts and posts on this topic:

Teen Sues Mom for ID of Father

Paternity

Who's Your Daddy?


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Teen Sues Mom for ID of Father

In 2006, a teenager sued his mother to find out the identity of his biological father when the man who was thought to be his father, really wasn't. Apparently, the second name the mother gave the child turned out not to be the teen's father either. At that point, the mom refused to give anymore names. It's just my opinion but perhaps mom should have been a little more discriminating on who she slept around with.

I haven't found the outcome of this law suit which was filed in Macomb County, Michigan two years ago. I am going to have to do some searching to find this one. Interesting.

It's becoming more apparent that there are too many kids out there who don't know who their biological father really is. I think children have the right to know who their fathers are! Besides the obvious, the medical/health background of their father and father's family could help the child in question know who died early of heart disease, strokes, prostate cancer, etc. so that they can have the proper health screenings.

Here is the article at law.com.

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Paternity

Do you question whether the child you are supporting is yours?

Has the mother of this child ever said or done anything to put doubts in your head? For example, have you ever heard any of these phrases:

• "I'll tell everybody he isn't yours."
  
• "You don't have to acknowledge paternity."


• "I slept with XYZ."
  

Did it take months for the mother of your child to tell you she was pregnant even though you were in a relationship with her?

Does/did the mother of your child not want you to have anything to do with this child without reason?

Does your child not look or act anything like you? Does the child look like her ex, her boss, etc.?

There are paternity tests that can establish whether you actually fathered the child you are raising/supporting. There are new procedures that enable you to establish paternity without blood tests now by using hair samples also. There are men who are suing women for fraud as a result of these lies about paternity!

There is a ton of information available on the web concerning paternity testing. You can also contact local hospitals and your county's family services division for more information in your area. Check your state's laws concerning paternity tests.

There is a test that uses hair to establish paternity that seems easier than blood tests though like I said, check with your state's requirements to ensure it is valid in a court of law. There are even paternity tests that you can buy from Rite-Aid now!!

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