Anybody else ready to take the tree down? I am ALWAYS ready to take it down as soon as Christmas is over to get it out of my living room and make space (we're cramped here with six of us). The family wants it left up until after New Year's. We'll probably compromise and take it down in a couple days.
When do you take yours down?
My oldest daughter is talking about going to school to be a vet. She is also talking about going to school in Kentucky (NOT where we live). That makes me sad. If she meets somebody there and ends up settling down there, that's where my daughter and future grandchildren will live. Oh, children growing up is so hard (on me).
I looked up some louisville real estate. Maybe we could get a vacation home there or something if she were to stay in KY (maybe win a million dollars while we're dreaming), but I am hoping she'll decide to go to school in the state we currently live in or the state she was born in.
Five months since my youngest stepchild turned 18 and STILL no letter from the court indication closure of the case. I could assume it is closed permanently but ya know what they say about assuming?
I just want the notice. That's all.
Oh my gosh, this is awesome. I was online window shopping at a music store and came across a Crystal mouthpiece for the sax. How cool is that?
It's been almost four months since my youngest stepchild turned 18 and still no letter from the court indicating the case is closed. What is taking them so long?
Ack!
I just bought my husband a new guitar for his upcoming birthday that puts him into the high 40's now. I'm low 40's so I can say that.
I'm sure it won't be the last guitar. He goes through them like...babies go through diapers.
I am all about "natural" in terms of how I clean my house and I'm feeling the need for a run through of the house, every room - walls to floor, as we come into Fall. With asthma and just the fact that there are so many chemicals in a lot of regular cleaners, who wants to inhale those or come in contact with them? I use products that are found in almost all kitchens for baking - really, if you can ingest it, it shouldn't hurt your skin or lungs, should it? My husband can not stand the smell of vinegar so he does not like my cleaning methods.
So if he doesn't mind using those strong cleaners that aren't environmentally friendly or good for my asthma, he is welcome to clean the toilet himself. I prefer natural cleaning products. It's better for the environment and better for the health of my kids and myself.
Nothing from the Court with a judge's signature showing the case is closed, I mean. If we log in online, it shows "closed" but we need the darn piece of paper with the judge's signature. It's been almost a month. What are they waiting for?
Read more...With the savings in child support the past couple months, we've been getting caught up on a few of our own medical bills (stepkids' bills first, my kids' bills second...you know how it goes). After we get our bills on track, I hope to do some more updating to our house and yard.
My kids have asked for one of those playground swings for years. I've seen some nice ones at playsets woodbridge va. Now that my youngest is almost too old for them, we might actually have the money to buy one next spring. A few years too late...boo.
This week was the 60-day time frame the family court gave for closing my husband's child support, custody, and parenting time case (my youngest stepchild turned 18 a few couple months ago). Now, we wait for a letter from them telling hubby his legal relationship with the ex is OVER. FINISHED. ENDED.
It sure is nice not to have to ask her for a dang thing where it concerns the kids anymore. Hubby talks directly with his kids to arrange when they come here, etc. It's also nice to have that extra money every week to put towards getting our medical bills paid.
So....come on letter...show up in the mail so we can have that bonfire with the cases of paperwork from all the court battles and correspondence between us (which was generally fighting for the first decade) that has piled up through the long years.
One thing I have learned from this - to make sure my kids will know all they need to about contraception when the time comes so they don't get stuck having to deal with somebody they don't care about for 18 years.
Advice: Don't pick up people in bars and don't have sex with somebody you wouldn't want in your life for 18+ years. Keep that zipper zipped!
My husband wants us to go to Las Vegas. Neither of us have ever been. We've never traveled west, only north and south. So, I did some research. There are quite a few luxurious hotels with theatres and entertainment. I don't want uber expensive though. Clean and in a safe area is good with me. Any suggestions?
My two teenagers have their first marching band parade of the school year this weekend. My son plays drums. My daughter usually plays flute but she decided to do flags this year instead. Their choices make my job easier. I don't need to worry about running to buy Alexander Reeds when a reed breaks at the last minute (I played clarinet...I remember the horror at a broken reed and no more left). My stepdaughter also played clarinet. I might have to worry about a drum stick dropped and left behind in the road but hopefully not. My daughter's flag - that should be safe. She drops it, she picks it up easily.
We have a new band director this year and the kids are VERY behind. With their first game Friday and a parade Saturday, I am nervous for them.
We haven't put our house up for sale yet. It's taking longer to get it ready. We have the downstairs hallway done. That leaves the master bedroom and family room. Ugh. I just want to sell it and get out of Stepford (don't really live in Stepford but it feels like it).
Maybe I was a bit unrealistic to think the house would be on the market as soon as my youngest stepchild turned 18. Probably.
Tomorrow we look for flooring for our current home so we can get our house on the market. I can't wait!!
I have been planning what our new home will need for horses right down to the eye bolt in the barn and sand in the arena. For my horses, I have so much research to do! Barn (so many options and styles), the right grass, run-ins in the pasture, trees around the pasture (or not), fencing, local vets in the area we want to move to, where to buy hay, etc.).
We have always boarded our horses and this will be a first for actually taking care of them myself. I have quite a bit to do but I really can't wait to look out and see our spotted pasture pets in our own yard!
The notice of the support and court case closure came in the mail today, saying the case would close in 60 days. If either party doesn't want it closed, they have 60 days to notify the court. Why wouldn't it be closed for adults? Wow.
My husband's family reunion recently passed. We didn't go. It's out of state but I thought about just driving up for the day. However, if I am going to spend eight total hours (round trip) in a car to spend a couple hours with family, I don't want to stare at my husband's ex-girlfriend for those couple hours. Yes, she was invited. She isn't worth the $120 in gas it would take for this trip.
Read more...Well, we have not received the termination papers yet showing that legal tie with the ex is closed yet and it still shows open online. It's a good thing they were so messed up years ago that they didn't get my husband's employer's address into their system correctly for garnishing like the law requires or else they would still be taking child support out of my husband's check. I hate the family court system. So inept.
The ex was against my husband sending her child support directly for years. She wanted the court to take it out of his check and for the court to give it to her. Silly girl. For more than seven years, we have been sending it directly to the court ourselves and then they'd send it to her - never late, always on time, always what was owed - because they never got the employer information sent out. We weren't going to complain about that one. :)
I don't think the ex ever had a clue.
Still waiting for that official notice that those legal ties are cut. Hopefully they'll get it sent out before winter comes so we can have that big bonfire with all this court/ex stuff we have waited years to do.
-------------------------->>>>
What does that counter say? COMPLETE!!
Yippee!!! The ex was given the last child support payment. We paid the final fees off yesterday so once that clears the child support enforcement agency, we should get the termination order from them and it is DONE. DONE. DONE. DONE.
The legal relationship with the ex is DONE.
My husband just purchased another electric guitar yesterday. It's the third since Father's Day - he received one for Father's Day. It hurt his old man aches through his elbow and wrist (similar to tennis elbow from playing guitar for the last 32 years) so he needed a different neck. So, he sold that and bought another but the guy dropped it during packing (oops) so he gave hubby his money back. Yesterday, he bought another.
Do I think this will be the last one? Nope. He does this. Has for the last 17 years of our marriage. It's what he does. Buys and sells, buys and sells. (Good thing he doesn't trade in wives in the same way, lol.)
Today, we made the final child support payment. It's several days early but we really couldn't wait to cut that final legal tie with hubby's ex-girlfriend.
My stepkids were here for for the holiday week and just went back to their mother's. This was a good trip. No fights with hubby this time. Our 4th of July holiday plans were rained out entirely but I think everybody still had fun doing things at home.
I cooked meals and desserts non-stop until the last whole day they were here. Boy, was I pooped. I fell asleep each night early and without problem. Six kids in the house is tiring. Our four don't tire me out like this but when you add two more, I slept through the nights. LOL
There are some great deals at Avon this week here.
First there is FREE SHIPPING direct to you today only. Use COUPON CODE: TODAY SALE
Some good sales that I am taking advantage of that end today:
A month from now, child support will be done when my ss turns 18 - two more payments and it's over. At least that part will be over anyway.
Dealing with the BS will never be over. Hopefully the talk with hubby the other night will change something and we'll get back to how we used to be when dealing with them (united) IF we move back to their state (job interviews upcoming). Time will tell. If we move, it will be MY house, MY rules and they will be expected to follow the rules and be respectful no matter how old they get. We are raising our own four kids and our own kids will continue to have structure and responsibilities and expectations and if my stepkids are in my home, it will be the same for them. It may end up the stepkids follow those rules or it may end up they get ticked off at me (and then their dad).
At least we don't have to worry about the ex sending us bills for SS birth control like she did for my SD after she graduated. LOL
We stayed with my mom during SS graduation weekend. She is 69 years old and was in pain (ended up being cellulitis). Part of what ticked me off over that weekend had to do with what happened in her home every night, what I didn't finish when I posted about that weekend.
My stepkids came by each night we were there and stayed until well after midnight (the last night, it was after 2:00 a.m. when they left). My mom is not feeling well and is in pain, she is sleeping on the couch because she refuses to allow us not to have a bed (and claims that's where she usually sleeps because she feels safer being able to see the back and front door in her big city).
She is falling asleep on the couch and they all have their butts planted in front of the TV watching ghost or zombie movies. The first night, I give DH a look to let him know it's time (past time honestly) and he gets the TV turned off, they go home, and my mom is able to go to sleep. It's about midnight by that point. I figured DH would know the last night how things should be based on the first night, right? Apparently, not ticking off his kids is more important than not ticking off his wife or being rude in somebody else's home.
MY adult SD brought over half a dozen inappropriate movies to watch the last night. DH informs me we may have to give her money for them since renting them is expensive. Um, no. We didn't ask for them, they aren't appropriate to watch with our younger kids, and they should have decency enough to know they can't be up all night at my mother's home watching crap. Then they start watching them. My mom goes into her area in her living room to read and go to sleep and I go into where we are staying but can't fall asleep. I can hear the swearing every other word coming from the movies in the room I'm in. Oh, so wonderful. I say something about the language but who am I? I'm nobody this weekend apparently. If I had somewhere to go, I would have left. I was so angry. My mother manages to go to sleep and I am awake and pissed off until about 3:00 a.m. I am up by 6 a.m. because I just want to get everybody packed up and head home.
We left the next morning. Like I said before, it was a long 4-1/2 hour ride home. My DH doesn't seem to understand why I put him in the doghouse. Really? It was so BEYOND rude!! It wasn't our home. My mother is 69 years old and sick. Your kids are thoughtless and inconsiderate and you let them be that way in my sick mother's home because you won't parent them anymore. That doesn't make your behavior any better than theirs. Give me a fricken break.
If he wanted to spend all night with his kids, take them into the park across the street and talk. Take them onto the beach at my mom's house and talk. Don't plant your butt in front of the TV each night for hours. Gawd. That can be done at home, not on vacation.
What the hell happened to us? We used to be united and what I thought or felt was taken into consideration. Not anymore.
I realized something after seeing my stepkids and the ex last weekend. I've been SO looking forward to when the legal ties to the ex would end, when child support would end, that I didn't fully consider the fact that they will still do things that are difficult to deal with, that there will be college graduations, weddings, babies (hopefully in that order), that "managing" that entire difficult situation will never go away. I knew it on one level, obviously, but the reality of that was a smack in the face after last weekend. Yes, we'll get a bonus to our budget after three more child support payments are made but it won't make it better.
While we were in the stepkids' state for my ss graduation, sd asked if my oldest daughter could spend the night at her mom's house. After the VERY bad history (years of conflict) with the ex, there is no way we would say yes. I also would not have let my daughter drive an hour late at night with anybody else anyway, which was when she asked, to go to the ex's house...but spend the night at the ex's? I wouldn't give that woman ten minutes with any of my kids alone, let alone an entire night.
The graduation is over. Now we wait until the 18th birthday and then the legal relationship with the ex ends. The child support bill stops. Halle-fricken-lujah!
As usual when we have to deal with the stepkids and their mother, the hubby and I ended our "vacation" with me ready to smack him upside the head. Made for a long 4-1/2 hours ride home.
Started out my stepdaughter showed up at my mom's house (where hubby, our kids, and I stayed) with little gifts for their siblings and dad. Nada for stepmom. OK, petty, whatever. If you can hand out gifts to everybody else and ignore one person in the room, good for you. Glad your momma raised you so well. I will assume hubby was oblivious to the slight or else ignoring it and hoping I didn't notice. I don't WANT gifts...it's the slight that irritated.
I didn't get any "family" picture with me and just my kids on the beach like I wanted. They always included my stepkids. I have no issue with having family pictures with them. I think we should have family pictures with them. I'd just like one of just my kids too. My stepkids aren't MY kids. This was our only vacation this year. How the hell do you tell the stepkids to step out of the picture? I couldn't do that to my husband though I should have and let hubby deal with it. I end up dealing with the crap all the time...should have passed some of it onto him. I'll have to get one in our backyard or something.
There was the graduation picture with just my stepkids, my husband and the ex together. The fake family picture the ex wants at the graduations. I'm sure she'll want one at baptisms and weddings too. It makes for a discussion with our younger kids because they don't understand. They never see their half-siblings and the last time they saw the ex was two years ago and before that - several years. They don't know her. My younger ones wouldn't even recognize her. It confuses them to see their dad with another woman. That's their dad and family and she is standing there with him posing for pictures instead of them and/or me. Doesn't give me warm fuzzies either though I understand my stepkids probably want pictures of their parents - and the other side of me (the one with the little devil on my shoulder) dislikes these pictures. They've NEVER been together as a four member family unit. We dealt with this two years ago with my stepdaughter's graduation here and here. It's uncomfortable and awkward.
Hubby thanks me afterwards for putting up with all the stress of the graduation weekend but ya know what? It doesn't have to be so damn stressful and it wouldn't be if he'd change HIS behavior a bit. I'm still ticked at him and we've been home for two days.
There was more...but I'm getting irritated.
I've stuck with it. Some days, Insanity feels like it is kicking my butt and other days, I feel like I am kicking its butt. I am seeing positive changes in the shape of my body and have lost several inches just from exercise alone.
Now if I could find a little more willpower, I would stop eating nachos and pizza and see even better results.
I've been tackling a box of stuff a day in an effort to get our basement family room cleaned up so we can actually use it as a family room (it's been storage, catch all, the huge junk drawer since we moved here). I came across an email my then teenage SD sent to one of her friends, where she states how she is joining both marching and symphonic band that meets all summer so, "that way i dont have to go to my dads." That was in 2006.
Today was day four of Insanity and I am feeling pretty good. I was really sore the first few days but today, there is a huge improvement in those sore muscles. I'll get those darn planks eventually!
We made vacation arrangements to see my stepson graduate this spring. We were going to their state for a few days for his graduation and visit my family and then after the graduation ceremony, we are to drive north to visit my husband's parents (we haven't been there in three years). My SS finds out we are heading north to his paternal grandparents and asks to go with us. I was a little surprised (figured he'd have grad parties to attend) but OK, no problem, sure.
A couple days ago, SS informs his dad that he has plans with his friends and wants us to wait a few days to head north because he wants to hang with his friends. Nobody required him to go with us; he asked to go. We are driving from OUR state to theirs, taking work vacation time, dog sitters, etc., but we should change our entire vacation now - extend it - to accommodate his hanging with friends (when he hasn't seen his dad in two years because those friends are more important than coming to dad's house)?
Yesterday, I posted about how dad wasn't even getting a ticket to see his son graduate from high school this year from the ex. We were informed of this on Easter Sunday, obviously after we made vacation arrangements with work, dog care, etc. So, now they won't give us even one ticket for dad to see his son graduate and they still have the nerve to ask us to rearrange our vacation, which we planned around that damn graduation, to suit him?
Really?
Oh.My.Gawd. The world does not revolve around one kid - whether their parents are together or not. HE asked US to go; not the other way around. Adults in the real world have responsibilities - jobs, bosses who expect them back after vacation is up, etc. Our own kids are putting their teen lives on hold for this family vacation. SS asked US to go, not the other way around. I understand completely wanting to go to grad parties and stuff, which was why I was surprised he asked us to begin with. However, don't ask to go and then turn around and ask us to change all our plans to suit him!
Of course, my husband is now trying to figure out how to accommodate his son without ticking the rest of us off. Yeah, good luck with that.
Instead of calling his son on the fact that they aren't even giving him a ticket to see him graduate and yet he is still asking him to rearrange our vacation for his plans, DH is trying to figure out how to make it work. It won't. I don't know how long it will take DH to figure that one out though. Probably after he ticks me off beyond reasoning.
Today I started the Beachbody Insanity program with Shaun T. Wow am I out of shape! This should be 60 very interesting days!!
Read more...My SS is graduating. Dad already took off the week from work so we could travel to their state for it, found a dog sitter, made arrangements on where to stay, etc.
Well, it has happened again this year. The school gives him eight tickets for family to attend his graduation. Out of those eight tickets, how many do you think dad is getting? NONE!
He was told yesterday that he would have to find his own tickets to attend. I doubt my SS knows about this since he and his dad talk almost everyday and I can't imagine he would do that to his dad at this point. I think it's the ex and my SD (they pulled stunts two years ago when SD graduated as well) doing this.
Geez, I hope she at least wished him a Happy Easter before she basically told him where to go.
I was reading an article called The Rise of Compassionate Doctors in a World of Overmedicated Children. Interesting. It talks about vaccines in particular. Video link here.
Read more...
Remember about a week ago when I posted how SD had contacted her dad to come over (she hasn't been here in about two years) but it turned out she was only asked for him to spend ten plus hours in the car just so she could go to a concert down here (read it here)? She didn't come over. However, she did get to that concert she wanted to see. Maybe she waved from her car to her dad as she drove to the concert. Probably not.
He also asked her if she wanted to come here for spring break (next week). Not a word. Guess they won't be here next week either.
My husband got briefly excited last week when he received a text from his daughter asking him if he could take that night off from work and come get them in their state. I say "briefly" because it was very brief. The "them" wasn't my stepdaughter and stepson. It was my stepdaughter and her boyfriend. To spend the night at our house. With our young kids in the house. Something she has been told isn't allowed (sleepovers with a boyfriend). To then turn around and drive them to a concert that is hours away from our house.
Ohhhhhhh, that's why you wanted to come over. There was a concert in our state she wanted to see. Not dad.
That's why I said briefly.
The glow died fairly quickly when she found out dad threw his back out that day and had called into work because he could barely move and was in a lot of pain. So you can't come get us? Really?!?!
Actually, dad would have sat in a car 5-6 hours round trip to get his kids here, while in pain, if they were actually coming HERE to visit HIM. THEY weren't. Only one was, with a guest, for a concert - ONLY. But to do that and then to turn around and sit in a car for another six hours on top of it to drop them off at a concert?
No.
She didn't want to come HERE. She wanted the concert. So, she didn't come. Had she wanted to come here to visit her father and siblings without another motive, he would have hopped into that car in pain there and back to do it.
He asked her if she wanted to come over on her spring break.
*crickets*
11 more child support payments until the LEGAL relationship ends with the ex. To say we are excited is an understatement!
Read more...When I disengage, I disengage! I took a break (ok, it was a super long one).
I am getting excited though. Our legal tie to the ex ends this year! We are excited. It has been a long time coming and now we are into out last year and a dozen child support payments left.
I will learn to do cartwheels just for that date!
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