My stepdaughter wanted to go to Florida for her spring break with a friend instead of coming here and my husband reluctantly agreed after she promised she'd come here over the summer (I don't believe she will). I just saw on her facebook page how she is attending a concert of one of her favorite bands in her hometown next week. So, if she is going to be in Florida, how is she going to be at the concert in her hometown?
Read more...Yesterday, we got an email from the ex to get her information on a new psychiatrist for my stepdaughter (let's keep the adult kid on Prozac so she can cope with her mother) as well as insurance information for an oral surgeon for my stepdaughter's TMJ. Nevermind that we paid for her mouth guard for the TMJ (I've had TMJ much longer - thanks to all the teeth clenching over the stress with the ex and stepkids all these years - but we couldn't afford to get me a mouth guard). The ex didn't make sure she was wearing it so it didn't fit her teeth very long. Wow, that was a waste. Let's try to squeeze oral surgery in before dad doesn't have to pay for anything anymore come graduation.
We are less than two months away before my stepdaughter drops off the court order. Woot! Woot!
If my stepdaughter gets a job this summer after graduation, somewhere, for a decent amount of hours each week, I wouldn't have a problem paying for necessary medical things that insurance didn't cover, even though she'd be a high school graduate and she has zero interest in seeing us (canceling again for spring break). However, I refuse to pay for anything for an adult "child" that doesn't work. Hope her mom can squeeze all these extras in before she graduates!
My stepson decided not to come over for spring break starting this weekend. With his dad working (so is his mom but ya know) and his siblings in school (not that he cares about them anyway and his older sister (my sd) will be in Florida anyway but ya know), he didn't feel the need to come and have to spend time with me with nobody as a buffer for about five hours for a couple days next week I guess. It was as I expected.
Read more...Two months and seven days! Woot! Woot! SD will be graduating from high school! *me doing backflips!*
A good friend of mine made a funny comment about my stepdaughter's graduation gift wish list (she asked for a new car, a 32" flat screen television, and a movie projector - all expensive gifts and all gifts I'd never have the 'nads to ask for personally from anybody). My friend said why don't ya just put the television and projector in the trunk of her new car? Too funny!!
In two months and seven days, I will get to take one countdown off my blog and then it'll be counting down my stepson's graduation (two years) when we will have our own personal party - bonfire with the court orders and all the BS documented over the years, no more child support payments, and no more LEGAL ties to the ex ever again!!! Hot damn!
15 years just flew by. NOT!!!!!
Two weeks to my stepkids' spring break. My stepdaughter is going to Florida this year rather than come here (another break without seeing her). My husband says my stepson wants to come here for his spring break but he still doesn't know that 1) his siblings will all be in school because their spring break doesn't fall at the same time as his, and 2) his dad will be working the entire time because we can't use the vacation time. Not sure when hubby plans to lay that one on his son.
So, if my teenage stepson knows he will sit here with me for a week, without his dad or his siblings as a buffer during work and school hours, do ya think he will still want to come? Heck no. He's been taught to hate me. He's been taught that rules and consequences that my husband and I believe and expect our kids to follow are nonsense. He's been taught that disrespect, cussing, violence, eating crap 24/7 until you're so unhealthy you can't run faster than your five-year-old sister, and being lazy are A-OK. He's been taught that I am nobody in this family. Sounds like fun, doesn't it? Doesn't sound like much fun for either one of us.
Look!!!
I was just catching up on reading on one of my favorite blogs, when I came across a post about a mother (have to use that term loosely here) exaggerating minor scrapes (from bike riding) to the point of taking the child to the ER to make the other parent look bad (it didn't work thankfully). It reminded me of what my husband's ex put their daughter through when she was four years old.
The ex used to make the exchange hell for the kids. Leave with their dad? Not without tears and a major guilt-trip laid on the kids!
'Hey kids, while you drive away to spend a little time with your dad, watch me stand at the end of our driveway and cry my eyes out until you turn the corner and can't see me anymore so you worry about me endlessly and don't have any fun with your dad or siblings until you want to come home so I don't cry without you anymore .'
Yes, that is something my stepson has said - mommy is crying at home without me...I have to go home.
Anyhow, you can imagine what this does to the kids at the time of the exchange - it tears them apart. A big symptom was stomachaches at the time of the exchange. Of course, the ex couldn't possibly believe anything SHE had been doing could be the cause of all that pain. There must be a worrisome medical reason for it. Let's take the child to the doctor about the stomach pains, not provide them all the proper information (like when it was happening and what you were doing at the time to cause the stress to the child), and put them through scans, x-rays, stool checks and enemas!
So, how did we stop the ex's continuing saga to find a potentially fatal medical reason for the pains because she didn't have the mental capacity to understand it was HER BEHAVIOR doing it (she thought she was perfect after all)? We went to the pediatrician's office, gave him the information he should have been given by the ex at the child's first doctor visit, and he stopped all the testing on the poor kid and gave the ex a referral for therapy for the child. Of course, once the child was in therapy, the therapist saw it was mom's behavior causing the problem and wanted to counsel mom. Mom was too perfect and wasn't doing anything wrong so she refused and took the child out of therapy. She did this with each therapist who had the nerve to question her behavior as the reason for the children's problems.
Yeah, that kid who went through hell medically, mentally, and emotionally at the hands of her mother as a four-year-old is now on drugs to help her cope. Her stress/anxiety levels with her mother were so high, she couldn't cope with anything. If she'd accidentally brush against her mother in the hallway? Anxiety and apologies. God forbid she had to burp like most teenagers are apt to do! Seriously! She was so anxious concerning her mother that daily life had her frozen in fear.
I was hoping my stepdaughter would go a few hours away to college in the fall, but she is going to a college within an hour of home, and within ten minutes of her mother's work. So much for getting away from her mother. I'd bet that her mother will have standing dinner dates with her daughter at least a couple times a week. Leave mommy? Never!
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