Not Moving

Passing out cigars - we've made a decision!  Well, since we're broke, I'll have to find a discount cigars sale!  After talking to some of my contacts in the Michigan automotive industry and after much job hunting, we (the husband and I) talked this morning and with the automotive industry as bad as it is in Michigan, we can't move back there right now.  We can't leave a pretty much 100% secure job for total insecurity.  My husband's current employer talked to him this morning about their plans for him and in a couple years, he'll be moving up off the floor, getting a company car, etc. 

So about the time child support is done (2-1/2 years), the husband will be getting a promotion and moving to day shift!  We'll have double the celebration!   There is a really bright light at the end of this tunnel - it's just going to take a little more time to get there. 

We haven't talked to our kids about it yet.  We'll talk to them about it tonight.  Out of four kids, there will be one who will be very disappointed but our two oldest girls will be thrilled.  Of course, we never mentioned moving to the stepkids so no need to discuss what won't be now.  Even though the move would've been to see them more, I don't think they would've liked us messing up the status quo for them. 

There is a small part of me that is disappointed because my family is up there too, but there is a big part of me that is relieved because I can't stand things up in the air the way they've been.  I need to know who, what, when, etc., and not knowing about jobs, housing, our precious and annoying pets, etc., was beginning to cause a bit of anxiety.  Now I just have to figure out how to live in this little redneck town for another two years until child support is done and we can move to the next larger town (within same school district though)!  I can't be held responsible if I see another mullet and react though.  Seriously, it won't be my fault.

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Teaching Finances to the Financially Challenged

How do you get a non-budget-minded person to understand financial responsibility?  My husband picked out an expensive birthday gift that he wants me to buy for him for his birthday (in a few weeks).  He does this every year and he doesn't see how this would be irritating.  I'm surprised he hasn't given me his Christmas gift list and easter gift ideas for men list already too. Just kidding. I'll get those about a month before the holiday.

I told him this morning there is no way we can spend that much money and to come up with something at least $100 less.  He has no concept of money.  I'd give him the bills to pay so he might get a clue about it but I know it wouldn't work -  he'd just rob Peter to pay Paul and we'd end up with no electricity or something.  High school really needs to teach a finances/budget class to every kid! That would definitely be an education they'd use (as opposed to geometry that confused the heck out of me and I never use:)

I set up our electronic bill payments at the beginning of every month for that month's worth of bills.  I think I will start printing out the monthly register once a month to show him how close we are to being in the hole so he might realize there is no room for extravagance right now.

That's all I can think of to do (other than wring a neck).

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Petition Not to Move

My 13-year-old daughter came home from school today and told me her friends have started a petition at the school that she can't move (like we've been planning).  She said they had a lot of signatures by second hour.  I thought that was a sweet thing for her friends to do.  That has to make her feel good.

Sure wish my stepkids cared as much about their younger siblings as their friends do.

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3 Girls in 1 Bedroom: Insanity for Us

If we end up moving within the next few months, we'll have to downsize everything because we'll be squeezing into less bedrooms for about 3-6 months.  I am trying to figure out how to put a few girls into one bedroom with the least amount of squabbling.  I did it as a child (I had five sisters) but I can't imagine that scenario for my kids now.  I can already imagine how that will be because I hear them trying to share a bathroom in the morning now.  I need to make sure they have enough space of their own room so I was thinking about bunk beds.  The boys will need the same set-up and I found these cool log cabin beds that I think the boys would like. 

There is just so much up in the air about us moving that I'm about to just toss the whole idea out.  Jobs, house rental temporarily and then buying another home, changing kids' schools, moving our horses, etc.  There's a part of me that is thinking staying where we're at isn't that bad of an idea and that little part of me grows bigger as time goes on.

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Gained 9 of 18 Pounds Back

Within the past year, I lost 18 pounds and was thrilled!  It meant only another 18 pounds to go!  Well, I've since gained back 9 of those 18 pounds.  So frustrating.

My thyroid disease is such a struggle and causes so many other problems besides just weight gain.  I am really tired of this little organ! 

My husband doesn't care - says there is more of me to love.  That really doesn't help, but he's trying to get out of the doghouse.  I don't want MORE of me to love.  I want LESS.  I read up a bit on the side effects of weight loss pills but I don't need an appetite suppressant. There's nothing wrong with my appetite. My thyroid has my metabolism down to nothing!

I have an appointment next Friday with my thyroid doctor.  I am curious what his next step will be because so far, his way hasn't worked yet.  I know my way does because I've done it before and was healthier for it.  I'm just trying to stay within the supervision of a doctor but I'm about fed up.

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Teenage Health - Acne, Weight, Irregular Cycles, Moods

I just finished reading Dr. Erika's Hormone Solution for Your Daughter (Dr. Erika Schwartz) and it was a good book.  I like solutions that give you other options for behaviors other than just Prozac and other options for regulating a teen's menstrual cycle other than birth control pills.  There is a lot more information in the book as well (such as weight and acne) and the use of supplements like natural progesterone (natural, not synthetic), Coenzyme Q, L-carnitine, B-complex, Omega-3, Vitamin C, Iron, Magnesium, and calcium supplements.

My stepson was diagnosed with ADHD years ago and I can say, by experience, that Omega-3 made a HUGE difference in his ADHD symptoms.  He wasn't hyper or misbehaving while on them and when I'd forget to give them to him - wow!  Noticeable difference.  I give all of our kids the gummy Omega-3 supplements, not just my stepson when he's here, for their health.  At first, they hated the taste of them but within a week, they all loved them.  My stepson's mother wouldn't give him Omega-3 though unless his pediatrician told her she could and his pediatrician only had him on ADHD drugs that made him tired and hurt his stomach.  Big Pharma won out there.

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He Didn't Go

My husband didn't drive out of state on Friday nine hours to spend 10 minutes watching a band performance.  He mentioned Thursday night that he might not go, there was overtime available and he thought he should take it.  Gee ya think?  He had also asked me Thursday morning, "How long is this going to go on?"  (meaning how long was I going to be mad).  Until I feel heard and respected I would guess. 

When he came home from work on Friday morning, he said he wasn't going and that his daughter said she understood (though he's not sure if she really did) he had to work but she did ask him if he was going to be able to make any of her band performances.  We drove up this year already and watched her in two concerts...she's forgotten I guess.  Of course, dad didn't correct her on that little fact either (I would've!).

Not going didn't get the husband out of the dog house.  I feel a bit betrayed.  That doesn't just go away, especially when it took several weeks of upset for him to come to that decision!  It seems more like he was waiting me out, to see how mad I would stay at him, before he decided not to go.  He can't win with me this month I guess.

I did keep my plans with my kiddos though.  We went costume shopping for a few hours and then out to dinner.  I will have a princess, a monster bride, the grim reaper, and a bee to take out trick-or-treating this year.

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Don't Forget Mother-in-Law Day Today!!

Today is mother-in-law day! 

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Not Feeling Mental

Well, the big day is tomorrow.  Tomorrow is the day the husband drives to another state - ya know, the whole "he ticked me off" deal that's been going on the last few weeks.  If you missed it, read the previous posts over the last two weeks or so.  I've been quite the ticked off wife lately.

I thought I'd be about mental right now with anger. Yes, I'm still angry and feeling betrayed but I'm calm.  I've made plans tomorrow to take my teenage daughter winter coat shopping and then I'll take my four munchkins out to dinner with what's left of my guitar money.  I was going to do dinner and a movie but then I remembered Halloween costumes are needed.  So, we're going costume shopping tomorrow night too.

If hubby thinks I'll be sitting home ticked off while he's gone, he'll be wrong.  I have plans with my four monkeys and my plans don't include stewing over this situation tomorrow night while he's gone. 

Of course, that doesn't mean my anger won't show up in other places - like perhaps a colon cleanse for his birthday present next month and coal in his stocking the month after! Kidding. He'll probably have some wildly expensive gifts on his lists for his birthday and Christmas because he has no concept of money and financial responsibilities.  This trip is proof of that!

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Still Angry...Guess it's not going away

My husband told me yesterday morning that even in my sleep, I am turning away from him.  That's pretty bad that when I am out cold sleeping, my subconscious still puts distance between us.  I told him I guess that means I am really ticked off. 

He was talking to his mother again this morning about his plans this Friday and it revved my anger up all over again.  I can't imagine how I will feel on Friday when he actually leaves.  Probably kind of mental I would imagine.  I'm making plans though to take my kids out to maybe eat and shop for my teenager for her winter coat (I bought my other three kids their winter coats and my son his jeans on Saturday...the guitar money I received for selling my guitar is coming in handy).  With what's left, I am seeing dinner out or a movie with my kids this Friday.

This trip he has planned on Friday is totally stupid.  To go 30+ hours without sleep, working eight hours, driving nine hours during that time period, driving home late at night, it's suicide.  It's an accident waiting to happen. 

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Stress Weight

I've been really upset with my weight gain over the last few years.  I have thyroid disease so it has brought my metabolism down to about non-existent!  It's so frustrating to not be able to lose weight. 

Last year, without my thyroid doctor's help, I adjusted my medication and lost 19 pounds and felt GOOD.  The doctor changed my meds around and since then, I've been gaining that weight back.  My husband asked me yesterday if my weight gain was stress related.  Gee, why would I be feeling any stress? Do you think YOU might have something to do with that?

I believe it is twofold: thyroid and stress.

I can look for safe fat burners but what I really need is my thyroid managed to get my metabolism started up again to as close as normal as it can be under the circumstances. It's frustrating to go from a size 4, to a size 8 and then a 10. I'll take a comfortable 8 (comfortable as in being able to get into a size 8 jean and it not hurting) at this point but my goal is a size 6.  I am small-boned.  I am not supposed to carry this added weight.  No wonder my joints hurt.

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Cat Ate My Birthday Butt Cake! :)

I had a good birthday weekend, other than the cat eating my cake that my teenager made for me.  She made me a bundt cake (she calls it a butt cake) and the cat dived into it as it was cooling.  So a generic cake was bought in its place for the kids to decorate.  Here it is:

Each one of my four kids decorated a part of the cake and the butt cake was thrown out back to feed the birds or whatever else came along for it.  I have sweet kids.

P.S. Still no change on the hubby/trip situation.  He's going to get himself killed, or somebody else killed, going 30+ hours with no sleep, driving for nine hours.  That borders on idiotic.  Oh heck, it is idiotic!

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39 Today! Holy Crap I'm Old!!

I turn 39 today.  That just stinks.  One away from 40!! 

Remember when you were about ten years old and 40 was OLD? 

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13 Year Old More Mature than Almost 17 Year Old!

I have been editing videos and photos tonight from files I've taken over the last couple of weeks.  One of the videos was of my 13-year-old daughter (8th grade) marching with the high school marching band a week ago.  She had a piece of music that no other 8th grader has ever been able to play in the whole history of the band according to the band teacher.  She could so she got the part. 

Was my husband there to see our daughter play this one time a year thing, with her special part?  No, he had to work later that night so he was sleeping.  Did our daughter understand that dad had to work?  Of course she did.  (Never mind that he could've arranged his sleep schedule slightly to attend!) 

So why can't an almost 18-year-old understand that it just isn't financially feasible to spend all that money, plus lose needed work hours, to drive nine hours for about ten minutes of playing time when a 13-year-old can understand why her dad wasn't there for her? 

Why the emotional blackmail?  Oh yeah, because she can obviously get away with it.  Her mother's been a good teacher.

They get their child support no matter how many hours dad does or doesn't work.  It's the rest of our bills that suffer when dad doesn't work so it has little meaning to them.

I'm writing my angst down as much as I can so it doesn't spill over into my daily life.  With my husband's work schedule, I'm basically a single parent all week long and being a ticked off angry parent, the only one they have to deal with, isn't fair to them.  Writing it all out seems to help when the anger starts to hit.

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Black Friday

Speaking of Christmas, which is coming up way too soon for me, we're only a little more than a month away from Black Friday.  I went out once on Black Friday and swore never to do it again, and I haven't.  I prefer to shop online as much as I can. 

How many of you go out on Black Friday to shop?  Do you get great deals worth the stress and aggravation? 

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Christmas List for Teenage Girl

My teenage daughter has told me what she put on her Santa list - an iPod Touch.  Yeah, right.  Keep dreaming.  I got an iPod Touch and it's great, but I got mine for a survey I participated in and it was free.  It slides right into the little slot for iPods on my stereo so I can listen to it through my stereo speakers (which I prefer...don't like to wear the ear buds).  It was a bonus for being the best participant in this survey forum.  Little different when you actually have to buy one.  I told her to look at an ipod nano or another mp3 player along those lines.  Several of her friends have an iPod Touch though and after using mine and seeing her friends', she has her heart set on it. 

Santa is going to disappoint this year I think.

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Sold Guitar; Buying Winter Coats

I asked my husband this morning if he thought that by making this trip next week, that has caused a lot of tension in our marriage at the moment, if he thought it meant that his kids wouldn't ignore him on Father's Day next year (like they did this year).  He's missing my point.

I'm supposed to create a web site for him (he is making handmade guitar picks and wants to sell them) but I've not been in the mood to do much of anything for him lately (his laundry pile plopped unfolded on his side of the bed was his first good indication of that).  He should look up managed web hosting and see if somebody else can help him.

Oh well.  I just sold one of my guitars today (the one that is worth the most but we lost a couple hundred by selling it for what we sold it for).  I'll be able to buy the kids winter coats with the money and some jeans for my son.  Thinking that my husband might actually realize he is wasting his time and money (that is needed elsewhere) on this trip next week for an almost adult "child" who really doesn't care about him at all just isn't happening. 

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Trying to adjust but anger rears its head

I asked my husband today why he was driving nine hours for 10 minutes or so of time with his almost adult daughter when he admitted "they don't care about this family at all".  He said he was doing it for himself, so he knew inside that he has done what he could to be a good father no matter what. 

For "kids" who have not given him the time of day the last couple of years and who totally ignored him this past Father's Day (and last year too if I remember correctly) - totally blew him off with no contact, "kids" who are old enough to know better, I think he's wasting his time personally (as well as money we desperately need). 

Part of me is trying to understand where he is coming from and part of me feels a bit betrayed because we agreed to discuss things together and this was definitely not a mutual decision.  I feel like he's putting them before our own family's welfare and security, and shredding marital trust, and that it won't make a darn bit of difference to his kids at all.  It's one more piece of resentment I feel adding up.

I started reading Divorce Poison today.  I've been wanting to read this book for quite awhile now but after all of this, part of me just feels numb to all the poison anymore because at this late stage when the kids are coming up on adulthood, is it really going to matter?  I feel like it's too late.

Guess I still have a bit of "mad" on.  Hearing him talk to his mother on the phone today about his upcoming visit just brought all the anger back again.  The spiteful part of me thinks that if he spends this visit next to the ex in that stadium, after the hell she's put us and all the kids through for 15+ years, he can stay up there and not bother coming home.  Yeah, guess I'm still mad.

My birthday is Saturday.  Happy Birthday to me.  Not.

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Heart vs Mind Discussions from Contemplation Marks

With all of the tension in my marriage lately over the coming short trip to my stepkids' state, it has made me look very closely at my marriage and at some of the choices we are making right now wanting to move our family out of state, to be closer to my stepkids.  Hubby and I might just need some type of therapy or relationship coaching to get us through these last two years, especially if we move closer to the ex! 

Can I be the "little engine that could" and sputter my way through the next two years until my stepkids are both 18 years old and the legal relationship with the ex ends?  I don't want to just sputter!  Yup, might need some outside help for this one.  I've had "my mad on" for the last few weeks and it's kind of smoldering there right now, but the "sad" is starting to take over.  Might need an objective party to talk to.

There is a Heart vs Mind Discussion series at Barnes and Noble on October 14, 2010 at 7:00 p.m.  The actual address for those of you who live close enough is 240 Route 22 West, Springfield, NJ 07081, phone: 973-376-8544.  The topic of the discussion from the series for that evening is different kinds of soul mates/friends.  It's held by Contemplation Marks.

In addition to series of discussions, Contemplation Marks also offers inspirational greeting cards, bookmarks, books, relationship coaching, and creative writing help!  You should check them out. 

Blending families is so hard, especially when you add in all the outside influences that you have to manage so getting objective help can be a positive thing!  It's even more difficult when you are limited on what you can do or change and it becomes about what you can accept or not accept.  I have a hard time with the "accept" part.  I see things as right vs wrong and when I see what I think of as "wrong", I want to fix it!  I guess I'm like a man that way - want to get in there and fix things!  Hard when it isn't "my place" to fix them.

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More Sad Than Mad Now

Hubby and I talked this morning after a very tense last couple of weeks.  He wanted to know how long I was going to be mad at him and if we could talk. 

He told me that he is scheduled to work the weekend that includes the Friday he was supposed to drive to the kids' state to watch his daughter in marching band (nine hour driving time, 10 minutes of marching band...makes sense.  Not.)  He said he told his daughter that his work scheduled him that weekend (at his work, every other weekend is "your weekend" if there is overtime that they expect you to work.  There hasn't been hardly any overtime in over a year now...it's starting this month...what great timing eh?).  She won't forgive him if he doesn't go see her.  He said he will lose her from what she told him.

*twirls and drops to the floor*

SHE won't forgive HIM? 

I asked him if he mentioned the fact that she hasn't wanted to come here in several years?  Of course he didn't.  He said she's "just a kid" and he can't say that.

I told him she was emotionally manipulating him.  Of course she wouldn't do that!  Pfft!

Excuse me, that "kid" is 18 in two months and is old enough to know right from wrong and be told about it.  She can enlist in the military and go fight a war but she can't be reprimanded from daddy for hurtful behavior?  Boy when the real world hits her in the butt, it's going to knock her flat.

That "kid" couldn't be bothered to give her sister five minutes in a month's time this past month. 

That "kid" hung up on her sister on her sister's birthday!

That "kid" got her way in August and instead of coming here like was scheduled, got to go party with her friends - something she had done all summer long.  Then she has the nerve to throw a guilt trip on dear old dad?

He then said he doesn't want to confront his daughter because she's already on drugs (prozac).  That's an excuse by the way.  Yeah, the prozac WE are paying for, that WE don't agree with, because HER MOTHER is an emotional case and put her kid on drugs rather than look at her own behavior causing her daughter's anxiety problems. 

So now, we not only won't be able to make our house payment, we will lose a weekend's worth of rare overtime which is desperately needed.

I told hubby if he went, he was not taking our kids with him, driving all that way with no sleep in 24 hours, with our kids in the car.  He didn't undertand why but he didn't push that one too far.  Good choice.

I also told him that he wasn't going to go sit with his ex at the game like the last 15 years of hell never happened with her!  His response, "Well, I want to sit with my son."  (Meaning, he'd have to sit with his ex so he could sit with his son.)  If you drive all that way, your kid won't sit with you if you don't sit with his mommy?  He's 15!  What 15 year old is hanging out with mom at his school's football game?  Mine don't hang out with dad or me at the football games and they're younger than that!  Didn't that umbilical cord get cut over 15 years ago?  Huh? 

He said he'd cancel (for me) but no way is he laying that guilt trip on me!  No way is he using me as the excuse to cancel this trip.  Cancel it for the right reasons or live with your decision.

He also said his daughter wants nothing to do with being a part of our family.  So, why are you risking our home, losing overtime, and slicing & dicing pieces of our marriage for this then? 

Our marriage gets shredded a little bit more every time.  He said it'll be over soon (his daughter is 18 in couple months and 2-1/2 more years til his son is) and he doesn't want to see us get through these last 15 years only for me to give up on our marriage now.  I never said that.  He took that from how ticked off I have been at him.  I've still got a bit of mad on but I've got more "sad" on right now. 

If somebody had told me when the kids were young and there was so much love and family, that we would be where we are now with hardly a relationship with them at all, I would have never believed them.  I would've been wrong. 

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No Help From Stepdaughter

Well, my stepdaughter didn't come thru for her sister - again (So Sick of This!).  Despite my daughter asking her a month ago, I talked to her about it a couple weeks ago, and her dad asked her a week ago.  My stepdaughter told her dad she would.  She said she'd have it here before Friday.  It's Friday.  It isn't here.

My husband just asked me this morning if his daughter had done it yet. My response was, "Uh-uh" since there's no point in actually talking to him because he doesn't hear what I'm saying anyway.  No point in elaborating on what I already told him last week - how she expects him to drive nine hours to watch her for less than 20 minutes in marching band when we have no money for a trip like that and yet she can't spend less than five minutes helping her sister on a school project.

I'll do the project myself with my daughter.  My daughter specifically wanted her older sister to do it but that doesn't appear to be a possibility.  Obviously not a priority for my stepdaughter.

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Lots to Think About!

I went to the barn and worked with my horse this morning and spent a lot of time just loving on my and my daughter's horses for awhile to help my mood.  It did wonders for my mood...until I came home anyway.

I really have some thinking to do.  We were planning on moving back to my stepkids' state as soon as we could (find job) but after this latest fight with hubby, I'm not sure I want to under these circumstances.  If he's not going to talk to me about things that affect our home where it concerns his kids first (like he used to) and if he's going to let the ex and his kids dictate our time/finances, why would I uproot my own kids from their home, friends and school to move us (by myself since hubby would be already up there working ahead of us) to another state, if it would mean fighting with hubby every week instead of a couple times a year? 

A friend I was talking to today said that maybe all of this happened for a reason right now - to let me see what we would be moving back to...a little reminder.

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Still Livid!

I am supposed to go to the barn and ride my daughter's horse today to keep her going while my daughter can't ride right now (sprained her ankle couple weeks ago...not healing yet the way they expected it to...starting physical therapy next week on it).  I am still too angry (see Livid, Livid, Livid) and being tense and ticked off while on top of a horse isn't the safest idea.  I'll go down and do some ground work with them instead so they don't just sit around, lazy and getting fat:) 

Hubby and I still haven't worked out the problems from the other day about him driving nine hours to see his daughter play for all of 20 minutes when we have zero money for the trip right now. All the anger is just roiling there, waiting for a place to go.  Should be a good show!  Not.

I am so sick of this always being an issue.  There's sadness and regret in there too but mostly, a whole lot of anger.  When we were first married, he talked to me about things first and we made decisions together.  He dealt with the issues with his ex instead of ignoring them and letting her run things.  He didn't have a choice not to deal with them because I wasn't going to let some other woman run my home, my marriage.  It was the only reason I agreed to marry him when I did (I'd refused until I could see he wasn't going to let her run things) and we were a family with his kids, at least his daughter anyway, despite other people's interference for about ten years.  If we aren't a team, then I'm not playing, and we haven't been a team where it concerned his kids in 4-5 years.  He's let them and the ex determine everything for the last several years (and they determined "everything else" was more important than dad and their siblings) and the result has been he doesn't have a great relationship with his kids anymore and they have none with our family.  That took a dive when I disengaged and stopped ensuring the court order was followed, etc.  I left it to him to step up to the plate and he let his ex and kids take over the game.  Well, how's that working out for him now?

I'm just really, really tired.

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Puberty in Boys

My son is in 6th grade now and he's not adjusting well to the changes - having to switch classes.  With the start of school, he also only sees his dad on weekends now. I am married but Monday - Friday, I am SINGLE MOM because of dad's work. 

My son and I dipped our toes into the "puberty" talk a couple weeks ago, but that's all we did.  He doesn't want to talk to mom about that!  We talked about body hair (he thinks it's cool that his toes are "getting furry") and I told him he could get acne in other places than his face (back, chest, neck acne). I remember my brother always grossing us out by popping pimples on his chest in front of us. Gross. I need to either read up more on what he needs to know or make dad sit down and start the talk with him on a weekend.

Dad has never potty trained any of the six kids, had "the talk", or anything else like that so it'll probably come back to me to deal with this too.  If you can't tell, I'm feeling a bit resentful at the moment.  Not a good place to be.

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Busy Weeks!

The weeks are so busy!  I can't wait until Monday comes around when there is nowhere I have to go or nothing I have to do. 

My daughter has a field trip tomorrow to a one-room school house.  They want them to dress like the days from that time period.  I don't have skirts down to their shoes, etc.  I am going to run out today to see if I can find a Holly Hobby halloween costume or something like that for next to nothing.  I am going to try the Goodwill first.  Maybe I'll get lucky and find something suitably "old-fashioned".  I am surrounded by Amish but I think it'd be a bit rude to ask them for clothes.   

My other daughter has a field trip to a farm, soccer practice and game, cheerleading, football game, riding, etc.  I have to get an auto insurance quote and schedule eye appointments. I need an assistant!  I need to find a new home for the little stray allergy ball of cat fur that has made herself so at home in our house.   So much to do!

I encourage the kids to sign up for sports, etc., but secretly start wishing for the end of the season by halfway through the season!  With four kids, and just myself to take care of it all, I can't help it.

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Livid, Livid, Livid

I am livid right now.  My stepdaughter wants her dad to drive nine hours to come see her play for 20 minutes, at most, in marching band this month.  He promised her he would.  He didn't talk to me about it first.  If he had, I would've shown him our budget for this month.  We pulled our house out of foreclosure a couple months ago.  If he makes this trip and spends this money, we can't make our house payment this month because his hours have been reduced.  Our four kids need winter coats.  20 minutes of clarinet is more important?  I could buy four winter coats on what he'll spend on this trip.  They get child support before all of our other bills are paid - our house payment, our own kids' needs.  We don't have this extra money right now. 

Oh yeah, we made a trip to see her in two clarinet recitals already.  It's not like dad has never seen her play before.

A nine hour drive for 20 minutes of my stepkids' time when she couldn't spend five minutes to help her sister with a school project at any time in the last month?  The same kids who couldn't spend any time with us when we were in town over the summer?  When they were sooo busy they couldn't fit dad in for parenting time most of the time in the last five years?  His almost 18-year-old daughter asks him to jump on her time, and he'll do it without regard to anybody else. 

Oh yeah, the ex would save him a seat.  Isn't that sweet of her?

I don't know, call me weird, but I thought we were married and discussed these things first.  A trip out of state and not making our house payment are kinds of things you'd talk to your spouse about first. 

Then my husband asks me, "What's wrong?"  Really? 

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Non-Custodial Parents: Did you contact the school yet?

If you are a non-custodial parent, did you remember to contact the school to ensure you are on their mailing and contact list for your kids? I usually remember to do this in August but with all the activity with job hunting and house hunting, I have to admit that I forgot until I received my own kids interim reports and realized we hadn't contacted my stepkids' school yet. They started two weeks later, in September, than my kids so we haven't missed anything yet thankfully.

I sent an email last night to the school principal, from hubby of course, requesting we be on the mailing list for progress reports, report cards, and any other important information that concerns the kids, along with our current address. 

Don't forget to check the school web site calendar to make your calendars with important dates - parent teacher conferences, band concerts, sports schedules, etc.  No point in waiting for the ex to provide all of that for you (if she or he does).

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Earth-Like Planet Found. Earth Jr?

Earth-like planet found!  This isn't one of the STAR rag magazine headlines that are never true.  This is from Discovery and you can read about it here.  Is there life there already? 

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