Plan a Family Reunion

I am SO glad I went to my family's reunion out of state last weekend.  I almost missed it but hubby nudged me to go.  I hadn't seen 95% of the family at the reunion in years.  My uncle has Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma (Stage IV) and was diagnosed in 2003.  He's living with it (natural treatments) and shocking his doctors.  When I saw him last weekend, he looked SO good.  I am hopeful he'll be at the next reunion but who can say with a Stage IV cancer.  My cousins were as cute as ever (there are some good male genes in our family...wow). 

I am hoping we won't wait years to plan another family reunion.  I really missed many of my relatives (every family has a few that a person could go without seeing I'd imagine).  For the next one, we need to plan more - games for little children, adult games, and I'd like to get a projector and gather pictures from all the families from years past when we used to have a reunion annually so I've been looking at projector reviews.  I don't know a thing about projectors so I need to look into how best to view them - white screen, television, do they still use slides or are they all digital.  I am clueless.  I remember the projector my father used when I was a kid but they used slides.  I'd imagine they've advanced far more than I could even imagine.

If you've not had a family reunion in years, think about having one.  As dysfunctional as my family I grew up in is, all that stayed out of the way so we could all have a good time and see extended family we hadn't seen in too long. 

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Stepdaughter Needs Prozac...to deal with her mother?

I was texting with my 17-year-old stepdaughter today to find out how she's doing (panic attacks, anxiety, losing weight...she was just put on prozac which I don't think is the fix for her but what do I know).  She's away at band camp right now and she is fine.  She says she feels fine when she isn't at home (at her mom's).  It's when she is at home (with her mother) that she has the problems and needs the prozac to fix that.  That's what she told me. 

Um...what does that tell ya?

When she was here in April - not one panic attack, not one anxiety upset, she ate regular meals, etc.  She goes home to her mother's and within hours, she's flipping out with emotional meltdowns again.

The one place she should feel secure and safe, at her mother's where she spends most of her time, is where she loses it.  Why don't the therapists she has right now see this?  All the other therapists my stepkids have seen for the last decade all came to the same conclusion - their mother was their problem.  Why isn't her current therapist and psychiatrist seeing this?  I'll bet you that the ex didn't let them know she was fine when she was HERE and that it only happens when she is with her mother. 

I think hubby needs to send a letter to the therapist for his experience with his daughter when she's with us.

One more year, one more year.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...I'll be the little engine that could to get through this next year for my stepdaughter (though still have a few years left with my stepson).  I can't wait until she graduates high school and starts college so we no longer have the ex between her and us.  Which reminds me, I need to tell her about this place to sell textbooks after she's done with them in college for a little financial help.  I still can't believe she turned down two FREE years of college near us (special program through our high school) so she could stay for band her senior year at her current school (she wouldn't have needed the prozac either like she does while living with her mom). 

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Didn't See Stepkids While in Town

The kids and I took a mini-vacation last weekend minus my husband for my family's reunion plus spent a few extra days visiting.  We stayed within 20 minutes of my stepkids' home with their mom.  We didn't see them.

Besides my family's reunion where I got to see family I hadn't seen in years, including my uncle with cancer who I really needed to see because it likely will be the last time I see him, my kids and I spent hours on the beach with my sister and sister-in-law for the remaining vacation.  I fried my lily-white skin something awful (and it's peeling beautifully right now...ugh).

Like I said, we stayed within 20 minutes of my stepkids' home with their mom but didn't see them.  We invited them so they could spend some time with their siblings. We didn't show up in their town and ignore their existence.  They ignored ours...not sure if that was the ex's doing or their own but the outcome was the same.  Try explaining that one to four little kids who don't understand why they can't see their teenaged siblings. It hurts them.  How does any mother feel when their child gets hurts?  Multiply that times four kids.

We made sure my kids had a great time though despite other people's behaivor - beach, visiting family, beach, and beach again!  My sister brought her Bose stereo system out to the beach and the kids danced in the water.  So cute. 

Favorite of the kids:  Riding the waves after a freighter or cruiser goes by!

We also came home with a Body by Jake Ab Scissors machine from my sister's place for free.  Just what I need to get some more core strength (and a few less inches around the middle would be nice too).  Also packed in the back of the truck - an expensive computer chair they weren't going to use anymore.  We go on vacation and come back with good stuff!  Now if only I could get them to part with their Sony VAIO (just kidding). Our laptop just died. With school starting in a couple weeks, having an extra computer around is going to be necessary but I'll worry about that in a couple weeks.  Right now, summer is winding down so I am going to enjoy the remaining weeks before my youngest starts school. THAT is going to be a really hard day.

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Disney Vacation Planning: Travel With The Magic

My kids have never been to Disney (I know, that's like really bad isn't it?).  My stepkids have been, but not our four kids.  We could never afford it.  They've been asking for the last couple of years though.  I also wanted to wait until our youngest was old enough that she'd remember the trip when it was affordable.  She's five now so I am going to use free Disney vacation planning services from Travel with the Magic to help us plan the best Disney vacation ever next year or the year after (have to save the money to actually get there). 

In one year, child support for my stepdaughter will be done so we'll be able to meet our bills a little bit better so we can save to get ourselves our first real vacation in years!  We'll still have child support for my stepson but every little bit will help. 

I'd like to get my kids to Disney before my teenager graduates high school.

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Father's Day Bothering Hubby

My husband is the type of guy that doesn't let things bother him.  He's always been able to blow off things that would irritate many people and getting him to talk about something that bothers him is like pulling teeth without anesthesia.  It's a painful process.

Two days ago, he mentioned the fact that his kids hadn't contacted him for Father's Day, how bad that was, and how he was surprised their mother didn't make sure they did.  My response:  She never has before so why would she this year?  Seriously.  Why would she change 15 years of behavior?  All that aside, the fact that he brought it up on his own, without it being pulled out of him piece by piece, tells me how upset he is about Father's Day.

His kids are 17 and 15.  The whole history with the ex aside, they are old enough to know how to contact their dad for Father's Day, by mail, phone, text, email, or facebook.  There are plenty of means for them to do so.  They chose not to. They chose to let hubby know what stepson needed for his birthday this month though!  Funny how that works.

I have enough things to worry about with my health without putting too much time into stressing overly much, like I used to, over the behaviors of others.  I'll get upset, vent, but I won't lose sleep over it anymore like I used to. I have been sick enough the last few months (too bad that didn't result in more much needed weight loss instead I'm starting to wonder if I really should look at diet pills and the side effects of diet pills).  I can't change their behaviors.  It's not up to me so I'm venting and moving on with my day.  Hubby should talk to his kids and let them know how he feels.  I will not try to fix this for him.  It's up to him.

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Stepson's Gift Messed Up

We ordered and shipped a gift for my stepson's birthday.  It was to compliment something the ex was buying their son for his birthday that he would need to go along with it.  The ex gave us the model number so hubby would know exactly what to look for.  He found it, bought it, and shipped it.  Right after we let her know it was shipped, she lets us know that she bought him something different from what she told us. 

Nice.

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Vacation Minus Husband

Well, it doesn't look like we'll be going on vacation, or if we do, hubby will be staying home. 

If we go on vacation, we will be short for our August house payment.  Hours the last few weeks were short for hubby so the expected money isn't there now.  He said he'll stay home (so we don't have to pay to kennel our dogs - saving about $450) and I can take the kids to my family reunion for a couple days if I want to. 

I really, really want to go to my reunion.  There will be family there that I haven't seen in more than a decade.  My uncle, who has been fighting cancer the last few years, is driving from half the country away to attend.  Sadly, this will probably be the last time I ever see him again.  However, it's a long drive with just me and the kids, with a car whose transmission is rumbling at 55mph and 65mph.  It'd be my luck to lose the transmission with four kids in the car. Plus, hubby and I have never done anything apart like this.  We always do family things together. 

I would imagine that the ex wouldn't allow the stepkids to spend the day with me and the kids while we are there, like was planned, since hubby won't be there now. 

Oh yeah, plus I've lost 20 pounds without needing the best weight loss pills that work with my new thyroid medication for my Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Hypothyroidism. Our reunion is on the beach...it'd be fun to be 20 pounds less at the beach!

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Too Chicken to Buy Pregnancy Test

Yikes, I still don't know if I'm pregnant or not.  I figured if I still didn't know by today, that I would buy a test.  I haven't bought one yet.  I'm a chicken.

If I am and when it is all said and done, I'd be thrilled and love a new little one into the family.  However, right now, I am worried (because of the medication I was on) and thinking about the possibility of starting all over with diapers, high chairs, breastfeeding, personalized baby gifts, and not sleeping for the first few months with a baby. 

Hubby is afraid of vasectomies.  He doesn't want anything sharp "down there" - ugh.  I've given birth to four of his children and have had "sharp" down there, among other things.  I think, in cases like this, the man should be the one stepping up to get the snip snip.

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Great dog for family: Toy Poodle

This is my daughter's toy poodle.  She's about five pounds of fluff, very sweet, and great with our kids and other dogs.  I used to be a "big dog" person until we got this little fluffball.  While she needs to be trimmed every few months (if you want a toy poodle kept shorter, then more often, but we let her grow out a bit and get fluffy in between cuts), she has been fantastic with the kids.  I would be careful with really young kids but only because she's definitely more fragile because of her little bone structure and size.  She's not too yipey either (can't stand yipey dogs) and she loves to be held.  In fact, she gives a little jump into your hands when you reach down to pick her up.  She rarely barks but she has started "talking" to us.  It's really cute.  The only problem that I have with her is that I wish she'd stop pottying in my basement (she'll potty outside but then she'll potty in the basement too) and she chewed up one of my nice window blinds! That was so not cool.  That's our fault for putting her up on the couch I guess (she's too little to get up there by herself).  Actually, I can blame hubby on this one because he's the one who puts the dogs on the couch and I'm the one who shoos them off because with five dogs, they take up a lot of space on the couches.  It's always good to blame the husband. 

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Am I Pregnant?

I don't know the answer to that question. We weren't trying (and in fact weren't planning on having anymore children).  We use birth control. The only problem is I am five days late and sore in spots I only get sore when I'm pregnant. My major worry is that if I somehow got pregnant, it was during the time I was taking an antibiotic you are not supposed to take when you are pregnant because it causes birth defects. That really scares me.  I'm not nauseous all the time like I am when I am pregnant but I have been nauseous a few times for no reason and it is early yet "if" I am pregnant.  Though, I've not needed the best acne cream like I usually do when I should be starting...oh boy.  Where are the signs of a pending menstrual cycle? 

Oh where, oh where, has my period gone, oh where, oh where can it be? 

Between my thyroid disease and pelvic inflammatory disease, and history of having a very hard time getting pregnant (like 18 months of trying to conceive for our last little one), if I am pregnant, it would have to be some very dedicated swimmers and egg because the chances of me getting pregnant should be slim. 

I've avoided buying a pregnancy test so far.  I'm trying to hold out until I am a week late and then see how I feel.

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Good Memories of Step Childhood

I found this christmas card my stepdaughter made for me years ago when I was going through a bunch of papers in our fireproof box.  So sweet.  I miss that relationship we used to have before the alienation tactics started to make major dents in the kids' innocence and they retreated to protect themselves.

Here's the front:

Here's the inside:

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Seeing the Sister In Law That Hates Me

Well, our long awaited vacation to see my family and then hubby's family just had a bummer crash into it. It turns out that the day we are driving to my husband's parent's house, the sister-in-law who doesn't like me is also arriving that day!


Summary: The sis-in-law chose friendship with the ex over showing any support whatsoever to her brother during the whole ending of that relationship and years of court battles to just get the ex to follow a court order so obviously, we've had problems over the years. She's left me nasty messages on my answering machine where my kids would hear them. She told me blood was thicker than water - like my husband would side with her and leave me because SHE didn't like me (never mind the children we had together being his blood)...yeah right.


Why do I want to pay to kennel five dogs, drive hours each way with five kids in the car, pay out all that money when we could use it towards bills, to be uncomfortable on my own vacation?


My husband says, "Maybe she wants to forget the past and let it go." Yeah, and maybe I'm going to drop all my weight by tomorrow like I'm on fat burners, have a body like a model, and learn to fly by flapping my arms really hard.


So I am supposed to pretend she didn't leave nasty messages calling me names for my kids to hear while she gleefully looked forward to the day when her brother would dump me because she wanted him to when she's never shown in any way that she didn't mean any of it since then?

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Stepdaughter on Prozac

Without getting all the blood tests to see if there was an imbalance somewhere, they put my stepdaughter on prozac.  One visit to the psychiatrist and a prescription for prozac.  I hope she doesn't start to have suicidal thoughts like my niece did when she was put on prozac for anxiety. 

When my stepdaughter was here, there were no signs of anxiety.  There were no panic attacks.  There were no obsessive-compulsive symptoms at all.  The OCD symptoms she displays at her mother's relate to her constant apologizing to her mother for perceived wrongs, even if she thinks she might have done something wrong but didn't, she needs to apologize (her need to make sure she hasn't insulted her mother in any way).  The anxiety and panic attacks is when she thinks there is something she did wrong that she needs to tell her mom about but is afraid to and she has a panic attack.  This isn't my "guessing" - it is what my stepdaughter told me. 

Why is it easier to feed her a pill than address the root of the problem - the same problem that has existed all these years and through multipe therapists for both kids that all said - mom is the problem.  This last therapist said - give her prozac.  Why not give MOM prozac instead of the kid? 

That makes me sad for her.

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Who uses Google Adsense successfully?

I work from home writing so I don't have the work commute, the need for work clothes, or have to put up with a boss looking over my shoulder.  I am able to set my own schedule and it's great when you have kids.

In addition to my writing, I use Google Adsense ads on my blogs to make a few hundred bucks extra a year.  I know many people make more but I don't do much with it and maybe I should.  I just leave it out there to build up slowly as people click on them.  I am less than two bucks away from meeting the minimum to get paid again.  When it gets down the last few bucks, it really seems to drag by slowly.

Maybe it's time I researched Google Adsense more so I could take advantage of the easy way to make more than a few extra bucks with ads that interest people on certain topics.

Maybe I need a Google AdSense For Dummies book, lol. 

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Daughter Wants a Nose Piercing

My 8th grade daughter is asking to get her nose pierced to wear a diamond stud in it.  I showed her videos on YouTube of nose piercings (and made myself feel ill since I don't do well with needles, lol).  I thought it would put her off for a few years yet.  It didn't.  She says she still wants one.

I told her I'd talk to her dad about it but I thought she was too young right now for a nose piercing, maybe in a few years.  Because this is MY kid, I'm allowed to make this decision, as opposed to the comment of the anonymous poster on this post who thought it was ok to insult me to the high heavens for not allowing MY 8th grader, the child I gave birth to and am raising, to ride in a car at night from a concert with a teen driver I've never met before. 

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