Stepmom Bill of Rights

Stepmom Bill of Rights

The Stepmom Bill of Rights is very popular in the "step" world. You will find it posted all over the Internet. The original author is unknown. (If anybody knows who originated this, please let me know. I'd love to give credit.) This list is probably posted all over the United States on refrigerators everywhere. What it boils down to is basic respect. Respect the rules. Respect the relationships. Here is one version of it:

1. Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.


2. I will be a part of the decision making process in my marriage and family at all times.


3. People outside the immediate family, including ex-wives, in-laws, or adult children cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.


4. I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.


5. I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit, and how long they will stay.
   
6. I will not solely be responsible for housework – chores will be distributed fairly.
   
7. Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.
   
8. I will never be treated as an “outsider” in my own home.
   
9. My husband and stepchildren must treat me with respect.
   
10. I will be consulted on all family financial matters.

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Children's Bill of Rights

You are your child's most important teacher. Your child will learn from your actions. Act responsibly, act lovingly, talk to your child, and listen to your child. Hug your child. Tell your child that you love them. Act with dignity and respect so that they will learn dignity and respect for themselves and others. Reassure them that their other parent loves them also. Be honest with your child. If you can't be honest with your child because of something you have done, then maybe what you did wasn't in their best interests?

CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS

1. The right to be treated as important human beings, with unique feelings, ideas and desires, and not as a source of argument between parents.
   


2. The right to a continuing relationship with both parents and the freedom to receive love from and express love for both.
   


3. The right to express love and affection for each parent without having to stifle that love because of fear of disapproval by the other parent.
   


4. The right to know that their parents' decision to divorce is not their responsibility and that they will continue to be loved by both parents.
   


5. The right to continuing care and guidance from both parents.
   


6. The right to honest answers to questions about the changing family relationships.
   


7. The right to know and appreciate what is good in each parent without one parent degrading the other.
   


8. The right to have a relaxed, secure relationship with both parents without being placed in a position to manipulate one parent against the other.
   


9. The right to have both parents not undermine the other parent's time with the children by suggesting tempting alternatives or by threatening to withhold parental contact as a punishment for the children's wrongdoing.
   


10. The right to experience regular and consistent contact with both parents and to be protected from parental disputes or disagreements.

Children have the right to be kids.
Don't expect them to take care of you. Take care of yourself.

Children have the right to not have your anger at their other parent interfere in their own relationship with their parent.

A child has a right to have as much access to their father as they have to their mother.

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Potty Mouth

Well, dad is supposed to talk to his ex-girlfriend about their son's potty mouth while he was here last week. He mentioned it a few days ago but I have no idea if (or when) he plans to do it. I didn't ask.

Frankly, I don't expect anything to come of it on the other end. It never has before, not even when my stepson's behavior resulted in my kids going to the doctor, emergency room, or therapists. Maybe he'll have to drop a quarter into his swear jar. Oooh, that's discipline!

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Revenge

How many of us haven't dreamed up a good revenge for the conflict we go through as the "wicked stepmother"? Most of us don't go through with it. That would be childish and when you're dealing with so much childish behavior in a stepfamily/ex situation, who needs to add more of it? However, if you are looking for revenge stories, there's a site for you at RevengeLady.

The sweetest revenge for a stepmother is making a happy life with your husband. That seems to burn some ex's up more than any revenge you could ever think up anyway (not all ex's...there are some rational ex's out there). Being successful at something the ex wasn't seems to be the worst sin in some ex's eyes you could EVER do (whether ex-husband or ex-wife). Like you are doing it purposely just to get him/her. After all, it's all about the ex.

So, smile and know you don't have to resort to childish behavior to make a point. Your happiness is your priority and his/her worst nightmare.

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