Medical Insurance for Adult Stepkids. Yea or No?

Health insurance for adult kids - a conundrum.

My stepkids are both adults. They live with their mom and are on mom's insurance. Dad has always carried him on his insurance too. It's been a big hit for us to do so because we have a health fund (once it's used up, it becomes 100% out of pocket up to a certain amount and then 20% out of pocket thereafter and the ex takes the kids to the doctor's for anything and everything), however, they were minors and we took care of them, of course. They're not minors anymore. Well, the ex used up the entire 2014 health fund for the adult kids this past month on doctor visits (I say the ex used it up because even though they are adults, they're still attached to the umbilical cord).

• We have no choice on who these "kids" see for doctors using our insurance. 
• We have no choice on what these "kids" go to the doctors for using our insurance.
• We have no input onto the treatment for these "kids" using our insurance.
• 99% of the time, they could care less about dad or siblings unless it's time to give him their Christmas list. Seriously, not a phone call or text on Father's Day - again. I expect nothing and I'm not disappointed. Dad, on the other hand, gets disappointed regularly.

Yet our health fund is now at $0 and we're only halfway through the calendar year. We have four minor children with no money left in the health fund until January, 2015. So, now it will be 100% of medical care out of pocket for a chunk of change, then 20% after we hemorrhage all that money for awhile.

So, would you continue to cover adult kids who don't live with you, when they have other medical insurance, under these circumstances?

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