Disengaging for the Weekend

>> Monday, January 31, 2011

My husband tells me this morning that he wants to go to the stepkids' state this weekend and watch his daughter in a band thing.  I didn't say a word -  not yea or no.  I didn't say that his kids ignored him (and our kids) on Christmas.  I didn't say that they ignored him the month before that for his birthday.  I didn't say that they ignored him on Father's Day AGAIN this past year.  I didn't say they blew off their siblings on their birthdays as well.  I didn't say they don't give a darn about you or their siblings.  I didn't say they don't care to come here, blew us off over the summer completely when their siblings were 15 minutes from them, and they don't want to be a part of our family at all so why bother.  I didn't say they are old enough to know better. 

He'd be going by himself (which he probably doesn't realize yet) so I'm staying out of it.  As long as his trip doesn't affect the bills we have to pay this month, it's not my problem though it is his work weekend and he'd be losing pay.  I kept my lips zipped. 



Ah, disengaging at its finest. 

When the orthodontic bill comes in for two of our kids who start the braces process this week, I can't gurantee the lips will stay completely zipped but for now, I am trying really hard to stay disengaged from this.

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Cat Hater - - Liar!

My husband proclaims not to like cats (except for a black cat with white feet he used to have years and years ago that he creatively named "Boots").  We have a cat.  I don't claim ownership on this cat.  She hitched a ride on the undercarriage of my SUV back in August and I was unable to locate her owners or find her a new home (boy does my cat allergy appreciate that).  So this lucky kitten (now a cat) who was very lucky not to become roadkill under the tires of my SUV has been here about five months (guess I'll have to claim ownership eventually, eh?). 

My cat hater of a husband says to me this morning, "The cat is eating out of the cereal bowl on the counter." 

So, I turn to look and my cat-hating husband is PETTING said cat, while she is eating out of the cereal bowl on the counter.  Yeah, that'll show her not to get on my counters oh big cat-hating husband of mine.

He's also calling her "KiKi."  (Her name is Karma.)  My cat-hater of a husband told me he's renamed her "KiKi" because when you go "here kitty, kitty, kitty" it sounds like "KiKi."  Yeah, right.  I guess if you don't pronounce the t's it sort of does but really? 

My cat allergy is not ready to claim ownership of her yet.  Maybe when she's been here six months? 

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Go Away Baby Urge!!!

>> Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My five-year-old daughter is a patient at our area Children's Hospital for bladder spasms.  While there on Monday with her, there were soooo many newborn babies!  Oh...my...gosh...talk about getting the urge for another baby.  I had to get out of there!!  Every where I looked, there were moms and/or dads pushing little ones in fancy strollers, like the bob revolution se, or cooing at their little ones.

When does the urge to stop having children go away completely? I thought I'd settled to the idea that we were done with kids. I turn 40 this year and hubby is 45. We've had our kids already. We don't need to add to our family.  Eight is enough (six kids, two adults).  So, when does the urge go away?

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Happy Dance for Four Months!

>> Monday, January 24, 2011

Woot! Woot!  Four months until graduation!  Yes, I am counting the days until my stepdaughter graduates.  When you've been waiting as long as I have, the last few months seem like a dream.  She's growing up.  She's picked her college (to the tune of $62,000/year).  Wow!

I know it doesn't mean the end of dealing with the ex.  It just means the end of "having" to deal with the ex where it concerns my stepdaughter's needs/care as a minor (still have my stepson left to turn 18 though).  We'll see the ex at graduation (where we'll probably disagree on who is giving my stepdaughter what gift), weddings (where we'll probably disagree, again, on who will give what), baby showers (where we won't because we'll go for our own major gift - let's face it, there's a lot for a new mom - plus personalized baby gift baskets for keepsakes), and the petty bickering over where my stepdaughter will spend breaks from college (it'll be her mother's most likely but we'll still ask as usual - the difference is, we'll be asking my stepdaughter and not her mother!).  Woot!  Woot!

Yes, I am pretty geeked over this whole graduation thing.

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Lauren Klein for Valentine's Day

>> Friday, January 21, 2011


Valentine's Day is just around the corner.  Have you been working on getting those hints across loud and clear?  After all, we don't want to have any miscommunication problems when it comes to our bling, right? 

For special savings, here is a coupon code to pass along to the person doing the buying for 10% off if you use COUPON CODE VD2011.  Of course, Lauren Klein doesn't just sell women's jewelry.  They sell men's jewelry (check out the really cool stainless rings) and children's jewelry so keep that coupon code for your own shopping too! 

My personal favorite is this White Gold Diamond and Yellow Sapphire Heart Pendant.  This isn't something you would see everybody wearing so make it uniquely and beautifully yours.  With the coupon code, you could be wearing this pretty little pendant within a couple weeks (Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day) at a good savings. 

If you're looking for something "manly" for your man for Valentine's Day, does stainless steel and carbon shout "manly" enough?  This ring (shown below) is offered for sale by Lauren Klein for $50!  Then use your Lauren Klein VD2011 coupon code for 10% off.  Are you still reading or did you click on over to Lauren Klein already to check out this great men's ring?  Seriously, haven't you ordered yet?
Did you remember what the coupon code was?  It is COUPON CODE VD2011 through Lauren Klein's online jewelry web site.  I'm sure I am just talking to myself by this point because y'all would've seen what a great deal on beautiful jewelry is being offered for men, women, and children over at Lauren Klein and left me hanging here by now.   Now, go shop!


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Pfft!

>> Monday, January 17, 2011

Real nice.  My stepdaughter posted a "Happy Birthday" for some guy friend on her facebook wall (not the boyfriend) but not one for her sister. 

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Stepkids Ignore Sister's Birthday Too!

My daughter turned 14 yesterday.  Poor thing spent it with the flu:(  Her older brother and sister didn't send her a birthday text, a facebook birthday message, or anything. 

I don't have any excuses for my stepkids.  There isn't an excuse for selfish, hurtful, ignorance.

I guess no message is better than the one they gave her a few years ago.  A few years ago, they called here for their dad (which in the past decade, has been the only phone call they've made here for him) and when she answered the phone, on her birthday, they hung up on her. 

Yeah, great kids.

For my stepdaughter's birthday a few weeks ago, they made her a video, singing "Happy Birthday" to her.  She ignores them in return. 

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Pay For SD's Meds for 41 More Years? That was a doozy!

>> Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Wow, that was a nightmare.

This morning, I was woken up by a really bad dream.  In the dream, we had received legal notice that the ex was taking my husband back to court to get him to pay for my stepdaughter's medication through the year 2052!  (In real life, this is a medication we don't agree with my now 18-year-old stepdaughter taking but it makes it easier for her to handle the anxieties she has around her mother so she thinks she needs them - as opposed to just dealing with her mother and the fact that her mother has made my stepdaughter fearful of everything.)  In the dream, it was a different drug than what she is taking now though - the dream drug was something like Haldol or something like that. 

I looked up Haldol.  It is an antipsychotic medication.  Perhaps the dream should've been about the ex needing it instead!

Wow, wonder what the meaning is behind this dream.  Hard to figure out.  That would be sarcasm.

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Stepdaughter Graduation Tickets

>> Monday, January 10, 2011

Oh, this should be interesting.  We contacted the high school to see how tickets are handled for my stepdaughter's graduation ceremony.  For an arena that seats 4,500 people, they are only giving eight tickets per graduating student.  The ex and stepson, stepdaughter's boyfriend, maternal grandparents, paternal grandparents, ex's sister and brother-in-law = nine people.  I'm curious to see how they handle these tickets and if they go directly to the ex, how she will divide them up.  Wondering if hubby will get his share of the tickets.

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Trips to the Stepkids

4-1/2 months and counting until my stepdaughter's last day of high school.  I reminded hubby last week that we needed to start saving for the trip to their state to see her graduation ceremony.  He said we also needed to go there sometime soon for one of my stepdaughter's band things.  Huh?  We can't afford two trips in so short a time and we made at trip for one of her band things already.  We.live.in.another.state.  He'll be making that trip without me and our four kids if he needs to make another trip up there for band.

Me?  Pfft!  I'm not putting out another $500-$700 ($300 dog kennel, $200 gas, $200+ food, etc.) on a second trip for two kids who ignored their dad on Father's Day, couldn't bother to even send him a card for his birthday in November, and then blew him off for Christmas.  Yeah, let me run right up to their state and pretend they didn't act like little turds!

I will go to the graduation ceremony where we will hug the kids who blow off their father year round and make meaningless talk with their mother and see the kids for a short time and then they'll blow us off the entire time we are up there, except for a hand out for the graduation gift.  The ex will probably extend a graduation party invitation to us with her family, because she'd look like a total knob otherwise, where they can stare daggers at us  (the same family who has a member that came after me twice when I was pregnant and I went into premature labor and my son was born with disabilities...yeah, sure, that sounds like fun!).  As far as the other trip, hubby can go by himself and save us all a lot of money.

Wow, can't wait!

Oh yeah, two months later and still not a word about spring break parenting time.  I wash my hands of caring about it.  Besides, my obscene stepson would just teach my kids things he shouldn't and I'd have to undo the damage he did while he was here - like mother, like son.

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Gawd, I love that man!

>> Sunday, January 2, 2011

The other night, my husband looks at me and says, "God, you're beautiful."  I wasn't dressed and my hair was in a ponytail.  I just love that man. After four kids and all these years, I'm glad he still thinks so.

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Ex's Facebook Message Confuses Son

>> Saturday, January 1, 2011

My son saw a message on his grandparents' facebook page last night that confused him.  There was a message from the ex-girlfriend on their page wishing them "Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad."  That confused my son.  He's like, "What is this? I don't understand.  They were never married."

My husband told him that it wasn't important enough to get upset over.  We didn't tell him it's the ex's way of getting a dig in, that she's interfered even in my stepkids spending time with their grandparents this past year and hasn't sent them pictures either.  Her intent was to jab at us in front of all the family and friends online.  My son got the jab.

I would think leaving a "Happy Anniversary, Grandma and Grandpa" on behalf of my stepkids would be more appropriate since my in-laws are only related to her as the grandparents of her children (not by marriage or even a great, loving relationship) and she's done a botched job of even that this past year or so.  She was a pick-up in a bar, not a wife or loving girlfriend.

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