Stepson's Gift Made It - Eventually! Unexpected Bonus!

What a mess.  FedEx damages my stepson's gift, order a new one and the store sends the wrong one so we order another one from a different store to make sure my stepson has it to open xmas morning and FedEx delivers it to the wrong house and loses it! I handled all the ordering, FedEx both times, the store, etc.

Why even though I didn't want to? Because my husband asked me to and with his 3rd shift schedule beating him up physically, and he doesn't ask for much, I couldn't say no. It would be hurting him, not the ex or the stepchild who doesn't thank me ever.

He did get his gift in time to open it xmas morning though!  Wow!  What a fiasco!!

Through this mess, the ex and I actually communicated (via email but it was direct communication rather than her addressing my husband through my email), joked a little and I sent her a small box of chocolate as a bit of stress reliever (chocolate is great for that!) for all the stress this put us all through. She thanked me first through my stepdaughter who was there when her mother opened the unexpected box and then via email.

Do I expect it to last? This might've been a one-time thing but the kids saw their mother and I communicating like normal people (it's never happened before) so not only did I help lighten my husband's load, it led to something totally unexpected which was good for the kids.  Perhaps it'll lighten the load of responsibility and loyalty they've struggled with.  Perhaps not. Only time will tell.

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What's a bookworm to do?

I am a huge bookworm and can never throw out a book.  I even have a blog about books! It seems like a sin to do that or something! I have a couple bookcases full of books and then more in storage in box after box.  I'm not sure why I don't just sell textbooks...it's not like I'm going to use my textbooks from college and by the time my kids are in college, they'll be totally obsolete.

Do you know of anybody who makes money from doing this regularly?  I know of one person but I've not heard of anybody else yet doing this successfully.  It's a thought since I have so many books and can probably get my hands on many more. With six kids, we can definitely use the money!

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Finally stepson will have his gift (I think).

What a hassle it's been getting my stepson his gift. I ordered it online and it was damaged when we received it. It took a few weeks between then and us receiving its replacement from the company. That came the day before yesterday - AND THEY SENT THE WRONG ITEM. Trying to get a replacement between now and Christmas and with mail time to return the item, then the mail time from the store to us to send another one and then us to my stepson would make it late. So, I had to order (and pay for) a new one and have it shipped directly to the ex's house. Good thing I had room on a credit card or else I would've had to do a check by phone. We wanted to wrap it and ship it ourselves but it would have been late unless we paid major bucks to send it by air each way (which I'm not doing after all this hassle - a guitar amp is heavy!). I've now paid for TWO of these things when we only needed one. We're going to use the second one (the wrong one) for our daughter's guitar. It definitely wouldn't have been our first choice (or any choice) for an amp for her but I'm tired of dealing with this store already!

...and I didn't even want to be the one ordering the gift for my stepson to begin with but I did it for my husband. I need to remember this for next year.

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Psycho Ex Christmas Carol to Silent Night

I read this on The Psycho Ex Wife and thought I'd share the link here. There are probably many here who can relate.

Psycho Ex Christmas Carol Series: #2 Silent Night

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Great Spike in Traffic. Thanks!

My blog just saw a lot of traffic from a link somebody posted on a forum linking the Disengaging Essay on my site here (see link in left margin). I love it when traffic like that hits my blogs because I know it's other stepparents. When people google an oddball word not related to blending families and it hits my blog, those people bounce away. While I appreciate the traffic, I don't want a high bounce rate. Step-parents don't bounce as often.

When an ex like some of the ones we complain about hits my blog, oh boy can the 'you know what' hit the fan with nasty comments. Since I don't approve the comments that contain a handful of cuss words because I don't want strong cussing on my blog, you guys don't see them (you're missing out on some laughs though...sorry guys).

Another way to bring traffic to a blog is through a web directory. I haven't tried that yet. This blog does really well in traffic. It's the best in terms of traffic over all my other blogs. That's kind of sad to think there are so many stepmoms having problems blending, dealing with an ex, or dealing with their spouse over their dealing with their ex. Why can't we all just get along? You don't know how many times over the last 14 years I've thought that.

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I Won't Forget to Finish Our Story

I started "our story" and haven't finished it yet. I'm so behind with blogs right now. This is my reminder to myself to work on the story of the next part of our lives after dating a man with kids and an ex. It'll be marriage to a man with kids and an ex!

It takes time to dredge up memories and go through the feelings so I need to be in the right mindset to do it. Would I do it again? Would you?

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I'm Not MIA

I haven't been updating as much as usual the last two weeks. I have started a new job and my blogs have been sliding a bit. I have to get organized!

Christmas shopping is under way. I'm only about a quarter done though. I did end up ordering my stepson's gift for my husband and it came damaged. Then I had to go back and forth between the company we bought it from and FedEx to get it returned and replaced. We're still waiting for the replacement to arrive. Boy was I regretting getting involved and getting ticked (my own fault though for doing it in the first place against my better judgment). I did it because my husband asked for my help. My stepson only thanks my husband, ignoring me entirely so I didn't want to bother. If he does it again this year, I plan on telling my husband that from now on it's his full responsibility. I'm not a doormat for his teenaged son (unless I choose to be...ugh). Pulled between helping my husband and putting myself out there for my stepson to snub me. What a place to be!

I've managed to lose ten pounds! I am SO excited about that. I changed my thyroid medication and it's really helped. No, I don't mean weight loss pills. I have thyroid disease and need thyroid hormone replacement therapy daily to regulate my hormone levels.

My husband gave me an early Christmas present too. He bought me a tiny Pomeranian and chihuahua mix puppy. She's about a pound or two and will get to be 3-5 pounds full grown. She's adorable and follows me everywhere. I haven't named her yet. I'm having a really hard time coming up with one that just feels right. I think he knows the struggle I go through with his kids/ex situation and this was his way of trying to make up for it. When we had to move for his job, he got me a horse three years ago. He gives good gifts!

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Ex Translation

I got this information from the insurance company ~

Once a week chiropractor visits (our translation) for my stepdaughter translates into this in the ex's mind:

First Week: 2 Visits
Second Week: 3 Visits
Third Week: 3 Visits
Fourth Week: 3 Visits
Fifth Week: 2 Visits

I will never grasp what goes through that woman's mind. Need attention much?

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My Dream Property

I'm looking forward to the future - to the point in time when child support is done so we can afford to get out of this too-small house and into something big enough for all of these kids. When my stepkids visit as adults, I'm sure there will be significant others coming with them. If our current house isn't big enough for just us, it's certainly not big enough to start adding other people into it.

I want five bedrooms, at least two full baths (one has to be a master bath), maybe three, with a family room in addition to a living room, a huge kitchen (with an island) and a finished basement. I want it on at least ten acres with several out buildings for horses and a goat my husband wants (I don't know why he wants a goat but he wants a goat). I want the barn made of cement block so it'll withstand storms and be cooler in the summer and metal buildings for storage for tack and hay and another for an indoor arena so we can ride practically year-round. I also want hot water running to the barn. That's my dream. Reality will be a lot different but it's nice to dream once in awhile.

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